Page 13 of A Forbidden Night with a Scot
“That is easy fer ye tae say,” said Alicia as the two of them rode leisurely down the path to the lake. Already she could see it stretching over the green valley that sprawled under the hill where Castle MacCallum stood, its blue waters glittering in the sunlight like a jewel. “If ye were in me position, ye wouldnae be able tae think about anythin’ else either.”
“Ach, lass… have ye nae learnt yet that I can distract ye from all yer troubles?” Samuel asked. “Remember when ye were a wee lassie an’ ye were so upset because ye kissed that lad?—”
“We’re nae talkin’ about that!” Alicia shrieked, her face instantly flooding with color at the memory. “An’ I wasnae a wee lassie! It was only… seven, eight years ago?”
That only worsened her case, Alicia realized, but only after she had already spoken. She had been around fifteen years of age when her father had thrown a ball in celebration of Emmeline’s eighteenth day of birth, which also happened to be the first time she had visited home after marrying Laird Macfie. The son of one of the nobles had kissed her that night—a handsome boy a year or two older than her, the kind of boy who should have made her stomach flutter and her heart skip a beat or two. And yet the kiss had only upset her, not only because, even then, she had been infatuated with Samuel, but also because she couldn’t escape the thought that Emmeline had been forced to marry her husband at the same age as Alicia was then.
No one would force her to wed that boy, of course; Alicia had known as much. But the thought of her sister, still so young, with Laird Macfie sickened her, and she had run to her chambers in the middle of the feast, only to bump into Samuel on the way.
Much like now, when I ran out o’ faither’s study.
Samuel had comforted her then, too. He had pulled her in his arms and calmed her, reassuring her that no matter what had happened, it would all be fine.
“I’m only sayin’ that ye didnae think about that kiss fer too long, did ye?” Samuel asked with an amused chuckle, undoubtedly remembering her ridiculous overreaction to that kiss. “Ye cried fer a while an’ then we went back tae the ball an’ we danced an’ ye forgot everythin’ about it.”
“That may be true, but this isnae the same,” Alicia pointed out. “This isnae merely a kiss. They want me tae wed an old man!”
Samuel sighed, nodding slowly. “Aye, I suppose ye’re right,” he said. “But that doesnae mean that we cannae enjoy the day today. Look around ye. Have ye ever seen such a bonnie day?”
As pretty as the day was, Alicia couldn’t bring herself to fully enjoy it. Even as they dismounted their horses and walked to the bank of the lake, Alicia kneeling by the waters to dip her hand inside its cool depths, she still felt as though a cold, vicious hand was wrapped around her heart, squeezing relentlessly. Sitting down next to her, Samuel placed a hand on her shoulder, and Alicia leaned into the comforting touch, allowing herself to be selfish for a moment.
What did it matter, after all? Sooner or later, she wouldn’t have the chance for such touches.
“Ye must think me a foolish bairn,” Alicia said with a humorless laugh. “All I dae is complain.”
“I would never think such a thing,” Samuel assured her, his hand rubbing soothing circles over her shoulder. “Nay one thinks thisis easy fer ye, Alicia. An’ nay one wants this marriage any more than ye dae.”
“Laird MacTavish daes,” Alicia pointed out.
“Well, Laird MacTavish is the fool,” said Samuel. “If I could…”
His voice trailed off, but when Alicia looked at him, she could see the clench of his jaw, tight and painful, a small muscle there jumping with every breath he took. She could practically feel the rage radiating off him, but after a few moments, he pulled himself back together, drawing in a deep breath. It was only a mask, Alicia knew, just for her sake. That rage wasn’t simply going to dissipate like that.
Instead of lingering on Laird MacTavish, Samuel reached towards the edge of the bank and plucked a small, white flower from a small patch that grew on the ground, handing it to Alicia. She took it, cheeks heating at the gesture, and she hoped Samuel would blame it on the sun rather than her embarrassment. It was so sweet that her stomach fluttered now.
“A bonnie flower fer a bonnie lass,” he said with a smile, and Alicia had to remind herself that it didn’t mean anything—at least it didn’t mean what she wanted it to mean. Samuel was simply being nice, as he had always been to her.
Somehow, without Alicia realizing it, they had leaned closer to each other, and now nothing but a few inches was separating them. Alicia could see every detail of Samuel’s eyes, the golden flecks in the blue, the colors bright and vibrant under the light ofthe sun. She could feel his gentle exhale on her lips, the warmth his body radiated.
All she would need to do to kiss him would be to lean just a little closer, bridge the gap between them and brush her lips against his. But what would Samuel do then? Alicia doubted he would kiss her back. No, it would simply make everything awkward between them. Perhaps it would even anger him, and that was the last thing Alicia wanted.
She had few joys in her life now—her family and Samuel. She wasn’t going to risk losing him like this.
Samuel was the first to pull back, abruptly, and Alicia couldn’t help but fear that he had somehow managed to read her mind. Had her desire been clearly written on her face? Had he realized how much she wanted him?
Is there anythin’ I can say tae fix this?
It turned out she didn’t have to. Before she could think of something to say, Samuel asked, “What dae ye wish tae dae then today?”
Alicia hesitated for a moment. They did have the whole day ahead of them since it was still early, but she hadn’t thought she would be spending it with Samuel.
“Dinnae ye wish tae see me faither?”
“There is time fer that,” Samuel assured her. “What daeyewish tae dae?”
So much fer tryin’ tae stay away from him.
Alicia couldn’t help the grin that spread over her lips, excitement coursing through her at the thought that they could spend some time together, just the two of them. Maybe she could forget about Laird MacTavish, after all, even if it was just for one day.
