Page 22 of A Forbidden Night with a Scot
Alicia nodded once more, for lack of anything better to do. She knew that, of course. She knew that no matter how much she longed for him, how much she desired him and wished for something more than what they had, Samuel would never see her as anything but a girl. In his eyes, she was too young, and there was nothing she could do to change that.
“An’ Faither would never allow such a thing,” Katherine added. “Even if Samuel wished it. In fact, I’m quite certain Faitherwould strike him dead if he ever found out that he ever thought about ye like that.”
That was probably true, as well, Alicia thought. As good friends as they were, her father wouldn’t overlook the inappropriate nature of such a relationship, even if Alicia herself assured him it was what she wanted. If anything, he would lock her in one of the turrets and never let her see the light of day again.
“Ye’re right,” Alicia said, finally relaxing as the tension drained out of her body. She let herself slide down the bed, resting her head on one of the pillows as she looked at Katherine through half-lowered lids, legs stretching out in front of her.
There was nothing she could do about it, and that brought her a strange, yet welcome, sense of freedom. If Samuel was never going to see her as a woman, then there was no point agonizing over every single interaction they had.
“Ye’re disappointed,” Katherine said, phrasing it as a statement. She shuffled up the bed and settled next to Alicia, both of them staring up at the ceiling.
“A little,” said Alicia with a small shrug. “But it’s better like this. I shouldnae hold on tae false hope.”
For a few moments, silence stretched between them, though it was a comfortable one, one they didn’t need to fill. Then, Katherine kicked her gently and Alicia kicked her back, the two of them devolving to giggles as they fought playfully with each other.
When they settled into silence again, Alicia turned to look at her, still smiling. Katherine was the only one who could make her feel so at peace even when she was panicking; the only one who could calm her like this, simply by being there and listening.
And, perhaps, by being the voice of reason. It wasn’t often that Alicia listened to her, as she couldn’t help but do as she wished, but when she did listen, she began to think she should be listening more often.
“He is quite handsome, though,” Katherine said. “Well, fer an old man.”
Alicia gasped in mock offense, kicking her sister once more. “He isnae that old!”
“He is,” Katherine insisted. “He’s as old as Faither.”
“He isnae as old as Faither,” Alicia pointed out. “He is almost ten years younger than Faither.”
“Is he?”
“Och aye, o’ course he is!” Alicia pushed herself up to the elbows, looking at Katherine in disbelief. “Did ye truly think he was that old?”
“They’re friends,” Katherine said, as if that explained it. “I assumed they were closer in age.”
Alicia couldn’t help but snort, shaking her head as she fell back onto the pillow. For a while, she remained quiet before she said, “He is very handsome.”
Samuel had always been a handsome man, but it was more than that which had fueled Alicia’s infatuation with him. Though he could appear cold to those who didn’t know him, he was kind. He was kind and brave and, perhaps most importantly, interesting, unlike many of the younger men Alicia had met, who only seemed like better suitors when, in fact, they had nothing to offer her other than a good alliance and financial security.
And besides, the man she was meant to wed was much older than Samuel and no one thought it outrageous enough to prevent this marriage. How could that possibly be more appropriate?
Samuel is surely a better match than Laird MacTavish. I dinnae care what anyone says, I cannae wed that man!
A knock on the door had both Alicia and Katherine shooting up straight, Alicia frantically pushing her still-damp hair off her face. Her traitorous heart expected every knock to herald Samuel’s arrival and she nervously tried to appear as decent as possible, even though Samuel had no reason to visit Katherine’s chambers.
When the door opened to reveal a maid, Alicia fell back on the pillow with a sigh, though she knew the source of her disappointment was silly.
“What is it, Beitris?” Katherine asked as the young woman lingered by the door.
“Ye’re summoned tae yer faither’s study,” Beitris said with a quick curtsy. “He asks that ye meet him immediately.”
Dread dripped down Alicia’s spine as she exchanged a glance with Katherine. Could it be that her father had learned of the bath incident? Could it be that someone had seen her and Samuel or that Samuel himself had told him?
Her father had often tried to forbid her from visiting the baths, insisting much like her sister did that she should bathe in her own chambers, but Alicia had never listened to him. If he had found out about this, she would never hear the end of it.
“Beitris,” Alicia said, slipping off the bed reluctantly. “Was he upset?”
“Upset?” Beitris asked, frowning as if deep in thought. “Aye, I suppose he seemed quite upset.”
He will have me hanged!
