Page 23 of A Forbidden Night with a Scot
When Alicia glanced at Katherine over her shoulder, she found her sister trembling life a leaf in the breeze, as though she was the one who would be in trouble rather than Alicia herself. She reached for Katherine, taking her hand and squeezing it reassuringly as she pulled her out of bed, dragging her out of the room even as she resisted.
“It’s fine,” Alicia said. “He isnae upset with ye.”
That did nothing to calm Katherine. Sometimes Alicia got the impression Katherine feared more for her than she did for herself.
As they walked to their father’s study, Alicia leading and Katherine trailing unwillingly behind, Alicia’s mind ran through all the possibilities, but always ended up at the same conclusion: he had discovered her feelings for Samuel. At least in the short walk to him, Alicia could brace herself for what was to come.
She could have never prepared herself for the sight of her father behind his large desk and Samuel across from him, though, the air in the room thick with tension and something deeper, something morose, like a heavy, grey cloud hanging right over their heads.
“Daughters, come, sit,” their father said, suspiciously calm. Perhaps Alicia had been mistaken, she thought. Perhaps it was something else entirely which bothered him.
Pushing off his chair, Samuel said, “It’s better if I leave ye tae discuss this.”
“Nay,” said their father quickly, gesturing at Samuel to sit back down. “Ye can stay, Samuel. Ye’re family.”
Samuel seemed just as reluctant to be there as Alicia felt, but he sat back down stiffly, his back straight where it rested against thechair. Alicia perched herself at the other chair by the desk, while Katherine walked over to the window, leaning against the wall as she took in the scene before her.
In the silence that followed, Alicia glanced between the two men, trying to decipher their weary and almost desperate looks. It was only when her father slid a letter towards her over the desk that Alicia realized what this meeting was truly about.
The letter bore the king’s seal. With a trembling hand, Alicia opened the letter, eyes skimming over the words. It was yet another simple order, a reminder of the first letter the King had sent her father: Laird MacTavish was to wed one of Laird MacCallum’s daughters.
Unthinkingly, Alicia crumpled the letter in her fist.
“This is the second letter we have received,” said her father. “There is naething certain yet, but we should meet with Laird MacTavish an’ discuss the possibility, at least.”
“Laird MacTavish?” Katherine asked, pouncing at Alicia and snatching the letter from her hand. She read it herself, face twisting with fury as she did. When she was done, she strode to the fire and tossed it into the flames before turning to face their father, her stormy expression surprising not only Alicia, but also him. “Surely, ye willnae allow this, Faither! This is … this is madness!”
It wasn’t often Alicia heard Katherine speak to anyone like this, let alone their father. She still shook, though now it seemed itwas because of her fury, not fear, and her hands were curled into fists, tight and white-knuckled.
Calmly, their father said, “If I could prevent it, I would. Dinnae mistake this fer inaction. The order came directly from the king himself. I cannae refuse. There is nae other choice.”
“There is always a choice,” Katherine said through gritted teeth. “First Emmeline an’ now Alicia. Why dae ye always allow others tae dictate the fate o’ yer daughters? How can ye claim tae have nae choice?”
“Enough!”
The slam of her father’s hand on the desk, the jarring sound of it cracking through the air around them, made Alicia jump and Katherine fall silent, gaze falling to the floor by her feet. The sigh that followed from her father’s lips, weary and regretful, did little to diffuse the tension.
“Forgive me,” he said, voice trembling ever so slightly. “This is as difficult fer me as it is fer ye. But there is naething tae be done.”
The reality of her situation slowly sank into Alicia’s mind. Her father was right; they could not refuse an order directly from the king. Doing such a thing would destroy her clan, make them pariahs and sever all their ties to other allied clans. No one acted against the king’s wishes or ignore them, either.
If it wasn’t her, then it would be Katherine, and Alicia could never allow her sister to be forced into this marriage instead of her. Refusing or doing something that would render her unfit for marriage would only shift the duty on her sister’s shoulders.
“I understand,” Alicia said, standing from her chair. “Excuse me.”
She left without another word, unable to face her father and her sister and assure them she would be alright, knowing it was nothing but a lie. For a moment, she lingered by the door, her gaze finding Samuel, who had taken no part in the conversation.
But now, he was looking at her with such sorrow in his gaze that Alicia couldn’t bear to stay there a second longer.
CHAPTER NINE
It had been three days since the last time Alicia had slept in peace. No matter how much she tossed and turned, sleep evaded her night after night, and by the time dawn broke onto the horizon, she gave up on the thought of getting any sleep. She spent her days exhausted, roaming from room to room in the castle like a ghost haunting the place, but her exhaustion was past the physical.
Her mind was exhausted, too, plagued by visions of the life that awaited her. Though Emmeline had tried to protect her and Katherine from finding out the truth about her marriage, it was no secret that she suffered by her husband’s side. It was no secret she despised him, disgusted by the mere sight of him.
Alicia’s fate would be no different, she knew. She would go down the same path, already forced to accept it and soon forced to live it, to be trapped in it for the rest of her life.
This night, too, she could not sleep. There was no point in trying to force her mind to rest, so instead she stood and made her way through the silent, shadowy hallways, heading to the library.
