Page 24 of A Forbidden Night with a Scot
Just as always, when she opened the door to the room, a sense of calm washed over her. It was a small comfort, knowing that she could always retreat to such a place, though she could only hope her future husband’s castle would have a library as the one her father’s boasted.
The library of Castle MacCallum was a large, tall room, the walls stretching far over Alicia’s head. There was nothing to light her way there at that time of the night, so she grabbed one of the torches from the hallway outside and brought it in, illuminating the towering shelves that lined the walls to her left and right. The far wall, though she couldn’t see it, was reserved for portraits of her ancestors.
Alicia took care to light some of the candles around the room, placing them near the couch where she would sit, before she began to browse the books under the light of the torch. Many of these books, she had already read and others she had no desire to read. The only one she truly wanted was long gone, lost in the fight outside that tavern.
Instead, she selected something at random and sank into the couch cushions, opening it to the first page.
Châtelaine de Vergy. How dreadful.
A love story, but not one that ended well for anyone involved, though perhaps it was more fitting than anything which featured a happy ending. Alicia had read it before and even then, without the looming threat of an unwanted marriage over her, the ending had weighed heavily upon her.
Still, she settled on the couch, legs drawn up as she began to read. It wasn’t so much the story that interested her as the act of reading itself, the familiar words easing her mind and pushing all the insistent thoughts and panic away. Soon, she fell into a rhythm, turning page after page as the time trickled by.
So absorbed was she in her task that she didn’t even hear the door open. It was only when she heard a polite cough that she looked up, alarmed, only to see Samuel there, standing by the door.
Instinctively, she glanced out of the window, expecting to see a light blue sky, but it was still dark. There was no light in the room other than that of the torch and the candles, and what little poured in through the open door, so she couldn’t have lost track of time. Dawn had not yet broken through the horizon and yet Samuel was there, lingering by the door as if he expected an invitation.
“It’s very late,” Alicia said in lieu of a greeting.
“Aye, so it is,” said Samuel, and he must have taken it as an invitation, at least, since he finally stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “I was wonderin’ why ye were here so late.”
“I could ask ye the same,” said Alicia, placing her finger between the pages to mark her spot as she closed her book. “Why are ye here?”
Samuel gave her a small smile as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a familiar book. Its cover was a little stained, but otherwise, it seemed like the very same one Alicia had purchased that night at the tavern.
“I thought I would bring this tae the library,” he said.
Shocked, Alicia stared at him and the book, wondering if he had gone all the way back to the tavern just to retrieve it. How long had he held onto it? Had he read it or had he simply assumed it was something she shouldn’t read?
Vaulting off the couch, she tried to grab it, but Samuel was faster. He pulled the book back and Alicia barely managed to steady herself on the armrest as the momentum carried her past the edge of the couch, her feet meeting the floor with a thump.
“It’s mine,” she reminded him. “I paid fer it.”
With a sigh, Samuel placed the book on the small side table by the couch and came to sit next to Alicia, waiting for her to turn and face him before he spoke. “Why would ye wish tae read such a book? Dae ye even ken the filth?—”
“I’m scared.”
There. There is nae point in lyin’ about it.
Samuel frowned; his words brought to a halt by Alicia’s admission. “Scared? O’ what?”
Cheeks heating at the thought of saying more, Alicia drew her bottom lip between her teeth. But why should she be the one embarrassed? Why should she blush and stutter when it was Samuel who was pushing for an answer and her father who was forcing her into this marriage unprepared in the first place?
They should be ashamed, nae me. Laird MacTavish an’ the king should be ashamed.
“Scared o’ me weddin’ night,” Alicia said, forcing herself to meet Samuel’s gaze, difficult as it was. “I am bein’ thrown tae the wolves an’ I dinnae even ken anythin’ about what happens between a man an’ a woman. How can I nae be scared?”
It was Samuel’s turn to blush. It was almost comical, Alicia thought, how bright his cheeks were under the soft light of the candles, how wide his eyes as he tried to look anywhere but right at her. Had it not been for the fear that gripped her at the thought of her wedding night, she would have teased him relentlessly about it.
Samuel was silent for a long time, though he opened his mouth as if to speak several times before closing it again, changing his mind. When he finally spoke, he did so hesitantly, slowly, as if he was picking his words very carefully.
“I dinnae think a book will help ye much with this, lass,” he said. “An’ I understand… I understand it can be terrifyin’ but ye will be fine. I promise ye.”
“How can ye promise such a thing?” Alicia demanded, anger rising within her. “I’m sure it was easy fer ye, but it isnae as easy fer a lass. I wish tae ken an’ I have nay one tae ask, so this book it is.”
Samuel took a deep breath, his gaze once again flitting around the room. Suddenly, he drew a small knife out and began to fiddle with it, gently touching the sharp tip against his finger, just so that he had something to do with his hands. Alicia recognized the nervous gesture; it was one she often mirrored, if not with knives, then with whatever was at hand.
“Alright…” he said, mumbling as if to himself. Then, he finally looked at Alicia, meeting her gaze. “It isnae always the same, but I assume fer yer weddin’ night, Laird MacTavish will be considerate. Perhaps he will undress ye or he will request that ye undress yerself.”
