Page 25 of A Forbidden Night with a Scot
As Samuel spoke, he tripped over his words again and again, stuttering in a way she had never heard from him before. At first, Alicia wasn’t certain what he was saying, but then it dawned on her: he was going to explain everything she wanted to know to her.
The blood rushed to her face instantly, flooding her cheeks, and had she not been sitting, Alicia was certain she would have swayed on her feet, the embarrassment too much tobear. Samuel seemed just as embarrassed as she was, breathing shakily and pressing that knife harder into his skin.
Can I truly allow him tae explain it tae me? But then, who kens better than him? He had a wife. He had a weddin’ night o’ his own.
Alicia didn’t have the time to stop him anyway, not when he continued to speak quickly, as though he feared he would be silenced forever if he stopped. “Ye will lie on the bed, on yer back an’ he will, uh… kiss ye. Yer lips, yer neck. Yer body.”
It was Alicia’s turn to draw in a shaky breath as she imagined it. It wasn’t Laird MacTavish she saw in her mind, though, or some faceless man. It was Samuel, his lips pressing against hers, brushing over the sensitive skin of her throat, then moving lower, over her breasts. In her thoughts, those blue eyes stared right into her as he kissed a path down her body, his blonde hair untied and sending a shiver through her as the locks swept over her torso.
It could be a trick of the light, she told herself, but she could have sworn in that moment that Samuel’s gaze was filled with heat as he looked at her, eyes catching at the rise and fall of her chest.
His tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Then he will… heshouldprepare ye.”
“Prepare?” Alicia asked with a frown, the question coming out in a breathless whisper.
“Aye,” said Samuel, gaze falling to her lap. When Alicia realized what he was looking at, a new rush of color flooded her face.
“How?”
“With his… with his fingers,” said Samuel, half choking on his words. “Or perhaps his mouth.”
Throughout the course of the conversation, Alicia found herself suddenly closer to Samuel, both of them drifting towards each other, caught into each other’s orbit. He was so close now that they were sharing the same air and she could see the flames reflected in his eyes, his pupils blown wide.
She only partly understood what he meant. As a curious young woman, she had dared to touch herself a few times in the bath, fingers brushing gently over her core in a way that had sent a spark of pleasure up her spine, so she could understand how such a thing might prepare her, give her pleasure. Would he kiss her there, too? The thought of Samuel kissing her there made her heart skip a beat, warmth pooling deep in her belly. When she shifted her legs restlessly, she felt that wetness had gathered between them, warm and viscous.
“And then?” she prompted.
Samuel swallowed; the movement visible in his throat. “Then he will e-enter ye. With his manhood.”
Time seemed to stand still between them. Alicia imagined falling back on the couch and spreading her legs, asking Samuel to kiss her and take her and show her everything she was meant to know. Would he do it, she wondered? Would he give her what she wanted?
Slowly, she reached for him, fingers brushing over his knuckles at first. When he didn’t pull back, she took the knife out of his hand and placed it aside, then tightened her grip on him.
Samuel stared at her with wide, hungry eyes, glinting in the candlelight, and Alicia found that she wanted to be devoured. Maybe she should have come to the library only with her night shift, she thought. Maybe she could have enticed him then, the thin fabric showing off her curves.
But he hadn’t even been tempted when he had seen her nude. How could he be tempted when she was clothed?
A strangled sound left Samuel’s lips and he pulled back abruptly, rushing to his feet. He stood there for a few moments, swaying just a little as he looked at Alicia, that same hunger still there but now subdued as if he was actively trying to fight it.
Before she could say anything, Samuel fled, boots thundering against the floor as he made for the door. He said nothing either. He only left, leaving the door wide open in his escape.
Alicia gazed at the space he had occupied only moments prior before she sighed, disappointment weighing heavy on her. On awhim, she took the knife he had left behind and twirled it in her hands.
It was never enough. No matter how much she wanted him, she could never have him.
CHAPTER TEN
Samuel closed the door to his chambers and leaned against it, heaving. He had run all the way there from the library as though he was being chased, not stopping until he was behind the safety of his walls.
What was I thinkin’? How could I have done this?
He should have known he wouldn’t be able control himself. At first, he had genuinely wished to help Alicia, to alleviate some of her fears, but then the conversation had quickly devolved into something entirely different, something inappropriate.
She was so beautiful, draped there over the couch in the soft glow of the candles, her dark hair falling in waves over her shoulders, her porcelain skin shimmering as if with a light of its own. He couldn’t stop it. From the moment he began to speak, he imagined it; Alicia, just as radiant as she was in that moment, spread underneath him, crying out in pleasure as he kissed and touched every inch of her body. He had given her the best-case scenario. He had told her what he would have done to her if shewere his, though he knew not all men would show her the same care.
He didn’t want to frighten her any more than she already was. And once he began imagining it, he couldn’t stop.
There was no way he could have stayed in that room without embarrassing himself. Under his kilt, his manhood was still hard, straining against his thigh, and the need to relieve himself was almost overwhelming. He reached under the kilt, hand wrapping around the base, but then only held himself in a vice grip, trying to force his desire to dissipate.
