Page 56 of Bound to a Scot
Their kiss deepened and intensified, all the emotions they’d been suppressing for what seemed like forever came pouring out of them. Maddox’s desire overflowed. He slid his hands down her body, letting them travel over her full, round breasts, to her plump backside. He squeezed it, reveling in her softness. Maddox had never wanted anyone more than he wanted Emmeline, his longing for her so great, it was making him dizzy.
But Emmeline abruptly pulled back. She held the tips of her fingers to her lips, her eyes wide, and a stricken look on her face. Her lips quivered and Maddox could see her fear.
“What have we done?” she asked.
He shook his head, unwilling to let go of the moment they’d just shared. This wasn’t just some silly, impulsive act like when they’d kissed in the common room weeks before. That was a game and there had been no feeling behind it. This was different.The kiss they’d shared was filled with emotion, their feelings for one another. This kiss was powerful. It meant something. And he could see by the look on her face that she knew it too.
“Ye ken how right it feels. Ye cannae deny?—”
She shook her head. “Nay. Ye need tae stay away from me, Maddox. I mean it. Dinnae come near me again.”
Before he could say anything more, Emmeline turned and squeezed her way out of the alcove. Maddox reached for her, desperate to keep her in the moment, but she slapped his hand away and ran off. As he listened to the sound of her footsteps receding and her choked sobs echoing off the stone walls, Maddox felt a sharp pain that was so intense, it stole his breath.
And with a snarl upon his lips, he punched the stone wall in front of him.
CHAPTER THIRTY
“Are ye all right, lass?” Lorn asked.
“Aye. I’m fine. Just… I’m embarrassed. I’m mortified. I’m…”
Her voice trailed off, but Lorn took her hand and gave it a squeeze as he offered her a sympathetic smile. As he always did, he’d listened to her tell him everything that had happened with Maddox the night before without judgment… even if she knew she deserved to be judged for what she’d done. She’d certainly judged herself.
“’Tis nothin’ fer ye tae be embarrassed about, lass,” Lorn said. “Ye’ve done nothin’ wrong.”
“If only that was true,” she murmured.
After a largely sleepless night, Emmeline had once again thrown her covers back with a growl and gotten out of bed. She’dsplashed some cold water on her face, trying to banish the memory of the kiss she’d shared with Maddox. It hadn’t worked. Nothing she’d tried could erase the memory and the rush of sensations that followed it. Her skin had continued to tingle, and her lips still burned where his had been pressed to hers.
The more she had tried to wipe away the memory that had been seared into her mind, the firmer it had seemed to stick. Nothing she had done to rid herself of it was working. Frustrated and feeling humiliated, she’d left her bedchamber and sought out Lorn as she always did when she needed to talk and ask for the sage counsel he always gave her.
“Look, ye stopped it before things went too far,” Lorn said. “Ye kept things from gettin’ out of hand. ‘Tis all that matters. Ye’re a good woman with a good heart. Naethin’ that happened with Maddox changes that. Especially since ye put a stop tae it.”
Emmeline desperately wanted to believe him, she wanted to accept what he was saying. But the fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about the moment she and Maddox had shared—and that she continued to long for him—argued against it. The fact that she had not only kissed him, but wanted to kiss him again, told Emmeline that she wasn’t as good a person as Lorn thought.
“Put it out of yer mind, lass,” he said. “Nothin’ happened and soon enough, he’ll be out of the castle and back tae his own lands. Ye willnae have tae see him again and ye can put this all behind ye once and fer all,” he said.
Emmeline let her gaze fall to the floor. If only it was that simple. Maddox might be back in his own lands, but she knew the memory of him would linger long after he’d gone. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to purge her thoughts or her feelings. But she was afraid of saying that to Lorn. Although he’d never judged her for anything she’d ever told him, she feared that if she said she had feelings that strong and that deep for a man who was not her husband, that would change. That he would see her differently. It was something Emmeline didn’t think she could live with.
“I hope ye’re right,” she said.
“I ken I am. Dinnae worry. Everythin’ is goin’ tae be fine,” he said. “Ye just need tae get on with yer life like he isnae even here. Or like he’s just another guest. Ye need tae dae yer normal things and act like he’s nae even here.”
Easier said than done, but Emmeline knew he was right. The sooner she got back into the flow of her normal life, the easier it would be to banish the thoughts and memories of Maddox that continued to plague her. Maybe. And he was also right that soon enough, he would be gone. But so would Cecilia. Emmeline knew her life was going to be lonely without her and miserable with only Burchard to keep her company, but that was a bridge to be crossed another day. The task in front of her was to get her head back on straight and her emotions in check.
“Thank ye fer talkin’ tae me. And fer yer counsel,” she said.
“Of course,” Lorn replied. “Ye ken I’m here fer ye anytime, Emmeline.”
She offered him a smile then stood on her tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
“I should go,” she said.
“Where are ye off tae?”
“I need tae go intae the village tae pick up Cecilia’s dress like Burchard told me tae,” she replied with a hitch in her voice.
Lorn gave her a long, even look as if he’d heard the hesitation in her voice and knew what she was struggling with. He didn’t mention it though.
