Page 47 of Healing the Highland Sinner
“What is it?” she asked, wanting to know more about him. “What happened with yer braither that’s hurtin’ ye so, even all these years later?”
“’Twas a long time ago, but all we had was each other. We found ourselves in the middle of a battle… just tryin’ tae survive,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I was wounded. Badly. I thought I was goin’ tae die. Part of me wishes I had…”
His voice trailed off and he turned back to the flames as the memories battered him. It wasn’t hard for Rosalind to see that he still carried more guilt for what happened than a person should. By his account, his brother was still alive, married, and living a good life. She didn’t understand what had happened that would still cause Ellair so much pain. But seeing it on his face made her heart hurt for him.
“I’m glad ye didnae,” she said. “And I’m sure yer braither is as well.”
“I suppose.”
“What happened, Ellair?”
He sighed heavily and picked up a small stone, studying it as he held it between his thumb and forefinger closely before tossing it into the flames.
“Cormac—me braither—he pledged himself tae an evil man. Pledged tae dae his evil work fer a promise tae have me healed,” he said, his voice low but hard. “And he did. Once me wounds were healed, Cormac had tae dae some very cruel, evil things tae pay off his debt.”
His words tapered off again and she saw the shadow that crossed his face. She could see just how haunted Ellair was by what had happened. But he clenched his jaw and she saw determination etched into his features.
“Eventually, it became clear tae us that this man… never had any intention of releasin’ Cormac from his bond. He’d told me braither that he would, but he kept playin’ him along,” he said. “Me braither grew tired of daein’ the man’s dark deeds. He wanted out but kent the man was never goin’ tae release him.”
“What did he dae?”
“The only thing he could,” Ellair said. “He killed him. He bought me life and our freedom, but it came at a terrible cost.”
“I dinnae ken yer braither, and I dinnae ken ye much better, but ye both strike me as good, noble men who are willin’tae dae what is necessary fer those they love,” she said, her voice growing thick as she saw the parallels in their situations. “Sometimes, we have tae dae some evil tae dae a greater good. In yer braither’s case, ‘twas tae save yer life. There’s nay stain on his soul fer that. Just as there should be nay stain on yers fer the decision yer braither made. He did it out of love. ‘Tis nothin’ fer ye tae feel guilty about.”
“And yet, I still dae.”
She nodded, a sad smile touching her lips. She understood his situation all too well.
“I can see by the look on yer face that ye’ve carryin’ a burden of yer own,” he said. “And the way ye talk, it sounds like ye can relate tae Cormac’s decision.”
She hesitated but nodded. “Aye. I can relate tae it very well.”
“I unburdened meself,” he said. “Why dinnae ye tell me what’s keepin’ ye up at night?”
Rosalind gnawed on her bottom lip, assaulted by her memories and the grief and anger that inevitably came with them.
“Ye once asked me why I work for Sinclair,” she said.
He nodded. “Aye. I did.”
She closed her eyes and let out a soft breath. Other than Ciar, nobody knew why she’d started working for Sinclair. Not the true reason. And just the thought of it sent a tremor of pain through her heart and she felt her eyes sting as they welled with tears. She used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her eyes and nose as she drew in a long, shuddering breath.
“Everythin’ I told ye about how I got intae this life was true. What I didnae tell ye was that I brought me braither Blaine intae it with me,” she said. “And things were fine at first. But we ran intae some trouble. A lot of trouble…”
She sniffed loudly, her voice trailing off as she relived that terrible day in her mind. It was Ellair’s turn to squeeze her hand gently, offering her a small smile of understanding and encouragement. She swallowed hard and sat up straight, steeling her nerves.
“Sinclair took me braither, Blaine,” she said softly. “Took him captive, he did.”
It was the first time she’d admitted that to anybody out loud. The first time she’d trusted anybody enough, aside from Ciar, to help her shoulder that burden.
“And now, Sinclair is usin’ him tae make me dae his biddin’. Tells me he’ll kill Blaine if I dinnae dae as he says,” she told him.
“And he’s promisin’ that one day, when ye’ve done enough fer him, that he’ll let yer braither come back tae ye, eh?”
She nodded. “Aye.”
Even as she said the word, she realized it wasn’t true. Perhaps deep down, she’d always known. That nothing she did would ever be enough for him. She turned to Ellair, feeling more lost than she’d ever felt before in her life.
