Page 1 of Malice
Operation PFFN Super Secret Video Correspondence: #7
Shot opens with Remi up close and personal with the camera.
Remi:Mmm, looking good, Mercer. I’d fuck me.*kiss noise*
Remi blows himself a kiss and preens a bit more for the camera. After fixing his hair several times, he settles back into his seat and peers into the lens.
Remi:So I guess if you’re watching this, you might be wondering if you’ve died and gone to heaven and whether I’m the angel sent to usher you through the pearly gates.*snickers*Have no fear. You’re very much alive, just blessed to find yourself on the receiving end of a special message from yours truly. Finally, am I right?
Remi rolls his eyes.
Remi:I don’t know why Asher insists on being so selfish with who gets to film these. I am an excellent anchorman. And, between you and me, he’s all doom and gloom, and honestly, the world is hard enough, so I figured why not add a little fun to thisapocalypse stuff? I’m sure you’d all appreciate it a hell of a lot more.
Remi casts a glance at something out of frame and adjusts his position on the couch.
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Remi:It’s really fucking messy outside. Have you guys looked out the window lately? Fire in the sky, earthquakes... Shit’s going down, and I don’t know if you’ve gotten our previous messages, but we really need you here, like... ASAP. I’m holding everything together for us as it is. Asher’s told me more than once that I’m the glue, but you guys... a handsome wolf can only do so much. We need you?—
Remi strikes Uncle Sam’s iconic finger-point pose and holds it for several seconds.
Remi:To prevent forest fires. Wait, wrong PSA.*chuckles*Seriously though, we do need you. I don’t think any of us are going to make it through what’s coming without some epic firepower.
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Asher:Remi? What the fuck? Are you in here recording?
Remi looks sheepishly from Asher, standing out of frame, to the camera.
Remi:I’m just giving the people what they want, babe. I can’t help how the camera loves me.
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Asher comes into frame and sighs.
Asher: *heavy sigh*Some days I still can’t figure out whyIlove you.
Remi:Ouch. Shots fired, babe.
Asher:Please. You’re a pain in my ass and you know it.
Remi:But like the good, sexy kind of pain.
Remi winks at the camera.
Remi:You heard it, folks. He loves me.
Asher sits next to Remi.
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Asher:So how far did you get before I caught you?
Remi:Just the essentials. The world is ending, I’m still handsome as fuck, come help us. You know, the highlights.
Asher:Couldn’t be bothered to read the notepad with the bullet points I wrote out, could you?
Remi:Um, this ismysuper secret special puffin bulletin thankyouverymuch. I’ll say what I want. I don’t need any notes, m’kay?
