Page 109 of Malice
“I didn’t see you speaking up,” he answered calmly.
“You didn’t exactly give any of us a chance. You just steamrolled right over all of us with your bullshit decree.”
“And then you stayed silent.”
“Because I was processing, Grimsby. Processing takes time. She just dropped a major life-changing bomb on us, and I needed a fucking minute.” Raking my fingers through my hair, Iloosed a heavy sigh as my frustration really came to a head. “We have to go tell her you are a dumb asshole and fix this.”
“You will not,” Grim snapped.
I looked at Malice and Chaos. “You two want to get in on this conversation, or are you going to stick to the statue impersonations?” I squinted at Chaos. “Weren’t you the model for a few of those?” I put my thumb and my forefinger super close together. “You and your micropenis?”
Chaos frowned. “There’s nothing micro about me.”
“Well, tell that to your itty bitty heart. Why were you so quiet? Do you really think she’s wrong?”
I couldn’t believe the way they were reacting. Like there was any possible reality where Grim was right and Merri wasn’t our mate. The moment she said it, my heart screamed, “Yes!” It was my head that needed a minute to catch up so I didn’t say something stupid, like “That’s impossible.”
“You better hope she forgives you,” I said, pointing a finger at Grim and then waving it at the other two for good measure. “I’m not going down with the ship. We found love in a hopeless place, and I’m not letting go of it.”
“I’m pretty sure part of that’s a Rhianna song,” Malice murmured, eyes downcast and expression completely shuttered.
“It is. And she’s right.”
Chaos pinned Grim with a look. “Is it even possible? What she said? Is there any way we could actually be her mates?”
“Absolutely not,” Grim said.
“Yes!” I shouted. We had both answered at the same time, so I spun toward him and demanded, “Why not? Why is it so impossible to believe? I mean, fucking Hades gets to have a mate, why not us?”
“Because Hades is more than his title! We are and will only ever remain chained to our purpose. Shepherd forth the end of days until we finally succeed.”
Bullshit. All of it was bullshit.
“Really? Then why the fuck did we agree to try and stop the apocalypse this time? If that’s all that matters, why do a damn thing to keep this one from sticking?”
“Because it wasn’t the right time. They cheated.”
“You are so full of shit.”
Grim didn’t answer, choosing instead to stare at me.
“The worst part of all of this is that I think you actually believe the crap coming out of your mouth. It’s not just some put-on act.”
Grim offered me a pitying look, and it took every bit of self-control I had not to deck him. This was insanity.
“You know what? You can lie to yourselves all you want. Take the chicken-shit way out and lose the greatest gift the universe has ever given you. But allow me to remind you of my power. You can’t lie to me. Not when I felt your reactions to her words.” And then, because I wasn’t about to let a single one of these motherfuckers off the hook, I called them each out. “Hope.” I pointed to Malice, who still wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Joy.” I pointed at Chaos, whose jaw clenched in response. “And fear,” I snarled at Grim.
“Careful,” Grim warned.
“Of what?” I snapped. “You just ruined everything that mattered already.”
I couldn’t look at them any longer. Not without trying to kill them.
“I need to go find Merri and fix what we all broke. While I do, do yourselves a favor and pull your heads out of your asses.”
It was all just too much. I’d gone from feeling very little about anything to feeling everything all at once. I knew that was because of Merri and what she’d unlocked in me, and I wasn’t stupid enough to resent her for it. It was sort of like that moment inThe Wizard of Ozwhen Judy Garland wakes up in MunchkinLand and everything was in technicolor for the first time. Who the hell would ever choose grayscale when you could live in color?
I needed to tell her that. To apologize for not being able to find the words of reassurance when she needed them most. To explain that I might be new at this, and thus a little slow, but it didn’t mean I loved her any less.
