Page 34 of Healing Hearts
Trent opens the nightstand drawer and holds up four blocks. “Like these ones?”
“Yep,” I say with a little laugh. “That seems about right.” I hold out my hand and he drops them into my palm.
Before I can step away, he tucks strands of my hair behind my ear. “I saw you and Lila talking. She still think I’m the devil who emerged straight from hell?”
“She’s still not over it, no,” I say with a grimace. “She did sort of inadvertently bring something up that we hadn’t specifically discussed…”
“What’s that?” he asks.
“Other people, while we’re doing this. Is it just us or…?”
“Be a bit silly for me to get tested and then sleep with someone else,” he says with a chuckle. “Right?”
“Yeah, I just, I thought we should be clear.”
“You and me. For however long it takes for the deal to stick.”
I can’t help the little laugh that escapes me at his phrasing. “Let’s hope it’s extra sticky.”
He searches my face for a beat. “I don’t know. I’m not opposed to getting in some practice before I deliver the winning shot.”
Which sounds fun, in theory, and I’m sure that’s what he’s picturing. But for me, given what sex has meant to me in the past, what I know I get from it, need from it, “some practice” is a bit nerve wracking. The last thing I need is for this deal to slip beyond my control.
“Did you find it?” Amir says, storming into the room.
“Trent did,” I say, opening my palm and showing him the pieces.
“Trent always delivers,” Amir says.
He sounds so grown up that I can’t help an amused smile, and I make eye contact with Trent over his head.
“That’s right, buddy. You can always count on me to deliver when I’m needed.” Then he winks at me and follows Amir back downstairs.
I stay behind for a beat, willing my heart to slow back down.
Chapter Fifteen
Emily
We signed all the paperwork at the bank the last week of March for Mullen Mechanics, and Trent moved all of his stuff into storage at the shop and my spare room the same week.
Bruce agreed to stay on for April to help Trent get a handle on the flow of customers, payroll, and all the bits and pieces it takes to run his own business. Trent has been working such long hours that, coupled with my usual increase of real estate business in the spring, means we’ve hardly seen each other.
On the wall in the kitchen, I’ve put a calendar where I’ve been tracking my cycle. Even that conversation wasn’t as awkward as I expected as I took Trent through January, February, and March. I’d started tracking in the new year in case I decided to go with a donor and needed the information for the doctor, and then once Trent and I had our agreement, I kept doing it so I’d have a sense of what days were likely to be important.
But now that we’re here—the important days—I’m freaking out a little. It’s midweek, but I asked my mom to take Amir overnight, get him to school in the morning. I used late-night house showings as the reason, whichhashappened before in thespring when the market is hot. But I was sure she’d see right through my lie, ask me why I wasn’t being honest.
I’m tempted to text Trent, but he’s been so focused on the shop that I’m not even sure if he’s checked the calendar, if he realized that the important days were here. What would I even say in my text? Please leave work to come home and fuck me?
Just the thought of sending that text makes my pulse do triple time and my stomach seize with nerves. There’s no way I could type those words or say them out loud.
I haven’t slept with anyone since Omar, and while I know the chemistry is there between Trent and me based on those two kisses, part of me is a little concerned I won’t actually be able to go through with it. I’ll get too in my head, and it won’t feel right. That even initiating will be awkward or uncomfortable.
That maybe this month will pass us by because I won’t be able to say anything if he comes home too late and hasn’t checked the calendar.
But then, when my worrying is about to hit fever pitch, he comes in the door carrying a grocery bag and some flowers. He hands me the flowers, kisses me on the cheek, and asks what listing I’m trying to price.
I’m at my computer, other listings strewn around me on the kitchen table. I have an office upstairs and another one in town that I use to meet with clients, but I haven’t used the one in the house since Amir was a baby. It’s easier to be in the kitchen, which is where Amir frequently asks for help with things when he’s home.
