Page 43 of Healing Hearts
“Okay. And you’re sure she put it back?” I scan through my memory of the books I’ve seen lying around the house, and I don’t think I’ve seen this one.
“Yes,” Amir says, and there’s a hint of impatience in the word.
The kids does have a memory like a steel trap. There’s a good chance this is exactly the book she picked up.
I buy it, and I have them put it in a fancy bag. Then I buy a blank card, but when I get back to the house, I sit at the kitchen table forever trying to think of what I can say that gets across how much what she did means to me without going too far.
If we hadn’t had sex a couple of weeks ago, if I could stop thinking about having sex with her again, whatever I wrote wouldn’t feel so loaded. In the end, I settle for something way more relaxed than what I feel, and I seal it up.
When Em gets home, I’ve fed Amir and I’ve left some food in the fridge for her. She heats it up and then calls to me in the living room.
“Trent, what’s this?”
“Mom!” Amir yells from the top of the stairs, his hearing suddenly supersonic. “Wait! I’m coming.” His little feet pounddown the stairs, and he rushes past the living room door and into the kitchen.
I follow behind, and I lean against the kitchen door, watching as Amir practically buzzes with excitement over Emily opening a book. He’s so her kid.
She misses the card and pulls out the book, a quizzical expression on her face. “What—”
“Trent said you did something extra nice for him today, so he wanted to do something extra nice for you too. I remembered that you almost bought that last week, so we bought it for you today.” Amir says it all so fast that it’s almost a blur of nonsense.
Emily’s softened gaze meets mine. “You didn’t have to.”
“Neither did you. But it’s appreciated.”
Now that the excitement is over, Amir zips past me and back upstairs to his Lego set.
The air around us heats, and I wish I could close the space between us, lift her onto the kitchen table and show her just how grateful I really am.
“Just know,” I say, “that if there were no rules, I’d be kissing you right now.” Then I turn and go back into the living room.
Chapter Eighteen
Emily
Trent has already left for work, and Amir has just gone to school when the bleeding starts. Even though I didn’t really expect to get pregnant the first month, I can’t help the tears that form.
Rather than having to tell Trent in person, I send him anot pregnanttext.
It takes a while, probably because the shop has been busier since Maggie, Grady, Mia, and Tyler stepped up for him on socials, but he replies.
Are you home at lunch? Or do you have some showing or closings to do?
I’m here.
I don’t add that I don’t feel like talking to anyone or doing anything. Instead, because everything I could do can be put off until later or maybe even tomorrow, I crawl back into bed.
I wake to a knock on my bedroom door, and when I call for them to come in, Trent pushes it open gently.
“Came to check in on my favorite Emily,” he says.
“Aren’t I the only Emily you know?”
“I could know thousands, and you’d still be at the top of the pile. On a scale of one to ten, how upset are you?” He steps into the room, and he’s got one hand behind his back.
“Like a five?” I say, though it’s probably more like a seven. Though I’d never say it out loud, I’m worried that the longer Trent and I do this, the harder it’ll be to re-establish normalcy. Already this new closeness feels normal, and I don’t think it should.
“I thought it might be more like an eight, so I had my mom pick up cookies from Kathy’s Café,” he says, bringing the box around. “They’re the double chocolate ones that you love.”
