Page 6 of Healing Hearts
“Did that lady say you could work in Little Falls?” Amir asks, his tone hopeful.
“Sort of,” I say, opening the truck door for him. “She was suggesting I could own my own auto repair shop. Like where I work at, but it’d be mine.”
“I think you should,” Amir says with a grin. “I could help.”
“You’d help me out?” I ask, returning his smile.
“I’m a good helper, right?”
“The best,” I confirm. “Thing is…” I take a deep breath and look him in the eye. “I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. I might need to talk to your mom about it.”
“She knows a lot,” Amir agrees.
“She does. One of the smartest people I know.” And I know she’ll be honest with me about how stupid this idea is.
“Do you want to do it?” Emily asks. It’s the first question she’s posed since Amir and I finished the marble run and he started playing with it.
“I don’t know. People don’t make a lot of comments to my face anymore, but I’m not sure enough people will trust me.”
“Didn’t Stacy imply, and Ihaveheard people say, that they drive to Utica just so you can diagnose and work on their vehicle? It might be a bit of an uphill battle, but…” Emily bites her lip and tilts her head. “You’d win them over.”
I put my head down, fiddling with the screwdriver still in my hand. If I’m being completely honest, I want the shop. I want the opportunity. I want to prove to everyone in Little Falls that I’m more than what I did at nineteen. The fundraiser was supposed to do that, but it didn’t convince all the people, and the event was a one-off, not sustained, easy for skeptics to miss or avoid.
This way, I’d be in their face, impossible to ignore. Definitely pros and cons to that scenario. A tough skin would be necessary.
“Do you have the money?” Em asks gently.
“I’ve been saving,” I admit. “No idea if it’ll be enough.”
“I think you should go talk to Bruce, see what he’s thinking, and then decide if you want to take it further. If this isn’t the right fit, something else will be.”
Reasonable, rational, good advice. My problem has always been that once I want something, I have a hard time veering off a path. Once the course is set, I get tunnel vision. If whatever Bruce says clicks for me, I’ll want it, even if I shouldn’t, even if I can’t. The best thing I’ve ever done for myself is to stop wanting things intensely enough to make stupid decisions to get them, whether it’s jobs or women or anything else. I’ve been coasting on the surface of what Icouldhave, what Imightwant, for the last seven years, and it’s kept me mostly out of trouble.
“You’re a good friend, Em,” I say, setting down the screwdriver on the workbench and drawing her into a hug. She comeswillingly, her cheek pressed against my chest, her hands spanning my back. The scent of lemon surrounds us, and I realize she must have been cleaning while Amir and I were building.
“So are you,” Emily says. “Everything you’ve done for me and Amir the last year has meant a lot—more than you know.”
“It would be nice to be closer,” I say, “though it would make it harder for me to pick your drunken ass up fromThe Flirty Englishman.”
“You’d still come.” She pokes my side, and I laugh.
“I would,” I say. “I’d feel terrible if it turned out you really were abducted by aliens.”
“They exist.”
“And they’re smart.”
“And some of them might be hot.”
“Unlikely, but sure.”
Emily laughs and steps away from me, sliding me an amused glance. “I’m a firm believer that when you know what you want, you should go after it. You never know what life might have in store. Seize opportunities while you can.”
For anyone else, that might be good advice, but I really don’t know if it is for me. I haven’t trusted myself enough to go after what I want for years.
“I’ll talk to Bruce.”
“You’re coming to Christmas Day at my mom’s, right?”
