Page 15 of Hot for the Tour Guide
"Such a good kisser." She mumbles.
Our eyes meet and I suspect that she's up in her head and will start up with the topic of the future. One topic I do not want to talk about.
"Dom, is this just fun in the sun?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you see us long term?"
I push back a bit from her and kick myself mentally when I see her grimace in response.
"When do you leave?"
"You know this already, I leave Sunday evening."
"Can't we wait until Saturday to talk about this and just enjoy the time we have until then?"
Her face is so expressive, but this time it's showing disappointment. She hesitates and I feel her building back that wall that I so carefully destroyed to get to her heart. Why did I do that? Why am I hesitating? A thought comes to me and it's like immediately she plucks it from my mind.
"Is this about your parents? They loved you. They didn't want to leave you."
I change the subject back to the matter at hand. I'm not feeling like I want to be psychoanalyzed right now.
"Why is knowing our relationship status this important to you?"
"I guess I like to look into the future. It helps me relax into the present because I'll know that you'll be there in a few weeks and we'll be having fun together."
"This is my home, this is where I work."
"I could hold the fort while you get something in guest services back in Boston."
"Is this going to be an issue?"
She tenses and I realize I've messed up. I've hurt her feelings and I don't even know why. I can offer her everything she would ever need in this lifetime and the next. I look at her and find she's already getting out of the pool.
Before I know it, she's got her bag and is leaving the cabana. I stay behind only because I know I'm a bastard and could have avoided this whole situation by just being honest with her. When I get back to the office I text her, but she doesn't write back.
The next day I have a meeting with my brothers so I need to suit up and be the Marketing Director once again and a part of the board of directors of the company. Being with Lulu has changed me and I miss her horribly and I realize I've got a lot of thinking to do. Otherwise I might lose her forever.
Chapter 9
Lulu
My heart is broken and I feel like I'm partly guilty. I don't know why I have to jump into things all in, like my life depended on it. My friends keep giving me looks of pity, even though I haven't said a word about what happened between me and Dominic.
Thankfully, the morning is filled with conference activities and I immerse myself into all of them. I feel like a big changed has happened inside me. I no longer feel that despair I used to when I thought about my sex life. Dominic brought a spark into my life that I didn't have before.
I don't want to think about him right now. Someone else was at the recreation desk this morning and I bit my tongue and keptmyself from asking about him. Something occurs to me. I should probably pay him for all the outings we went into.
If I see him again, I will do that. That way it's more transactional and not romantic. But oh, how I wanted it to be romantic and not just some dirty vacation sex. The thought makes me choke on my drink. That's exactly what I wanted, wasn't it? Why am I complaining now?
Because it didn't turn out into one of my love stories. Where the heroine gets her Happily Ever After. Someone sits down next to me at the table I'm at and places a drink in front of me.
"I think you need this."
Sam is a good friend, but right now I don't feel like talking to anyone.
"So he wasn't the love of your life. Big deal. It's vacation sex."
