Page 21 of Protect my Heart
She crosses her arms, stubborn to the last breath. I look away, clenching my jaw, breathing deep.
“Now, Anika.”
“No.”
“Don’t test me.”
“Make me—”
I cover her mouth without thinking, cutting her off. Her eyes widen in surprise. We freeze. She’s close, too close, and everything in me is suddenly on edge. Her breath is warm against my hand. My heart’s hammering. I let go before I do something stupid—before I forget everything that’s changed between us.
God, I hate her sometimes. I hate how she always manages to get under my skin, to make me lose control. I hate how much I want her. But I can't touch her. Not without her permission. Not like this. She's my wife now. It's more complicated than it used to be.
Slowly, I step back, creating a little bit of space between us before I lose whatever is left of my sanity. She stares at me fora beat longer, and then, finally, she huffs and climbs into the car, slamming the door harder than necessary.
I let out a shaky breath and walk around to the driver’s side, forcing myself to stay calm. This is harder than I thought it would be. Having her close but feeling like she’s miles away.
I slide into the driver’s seat and start the engine. The drive is wrapped in silence, heavy and suffocating. The city blurs past the windows, the familiar streets and traffic lights feeling distant, like I’m not really here at all.
Beside me, Anika sits stiffly, her hands clenched tightly in her lap, staring out the window like she can't wait to get away from me. The space between us feels like a war zone, full of things left unsaid and wounds that never really healed.
"You must be happy," she says suddenly, her voice low but cutting through the silence like a knife. "I’m leaving for a while. You’ll finally have your precious freedom."
My fingers tighten around the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turn white. You think that's what I want, Anika? Freedom from you? If only you knew. I've lived without you for twelve long years. Twelve years of aching emptiness, of hollow nights and lonely mornings. Of waiting for a call that never came. Of breaking a little more every day. I remember sitting by the phone every afternoon like a fool, telling myself, Maybe today she'll remember. Maybe today she'll miss me. And every day ended with nothing but silence.
You moved on. And I was stuck. So the last thing I want is freedom from you. Unfortunately for you, I want to bound you. Keep you here forever.
I glance at her, my chest tight, but she’s still staring out the window, her profile lit by the fading sunlight. She doesn'tknow. She doesn't know how deeply she hurt me. And I can't even tell her. Because saying it out loud would mean admitting just how much power she still has over me.
I turn back to the road. "Yeah," I say, the word tasting like ash on my tongue. "I’ll be very happy."
The lie feels like a betrayal. But maybe it’s better this way. Maybe if she hates me enough, it'll hurt a little less when she finally leaves for good.
When we pull up outside her mother’s house, I cut the engine and sit there, staring at the steering wheel like it holds all the answers.
"We’re here," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
She nods stiffly, reaching for the door handle.
"Thank you," she says, but the words are cold, stripped of any emotion. It’s worse than anger. It’s indifference.
I watch her walk away, every step feeling like another crack forming inside my chest. She disappears into the house without looking back once.
I sit there for a long time after, the keys still dangling from the ignition, my hands numb on the steering wheel.
I've survived without you, Anika. I’ll survive again. But surviving isn’t living. And some wounds don't heal. They just become a part of you. A quiet ache you learn to live with.
CHAPTER 13
ANIKA
“How’s everything, beta?” Mumma? she asks, her face etched with concern. I slump against the couch.
I freeze for a second. How do I even answer that? Externally, everything’s... fine, I guess. It could’ve been so much worse. Honestly, it’s better than I imagined. Everyone at the Malhotra house has accepted me. Given the situation Aarav and I got married under, I couldn’t have asked for more.
But inside? Inside, I feel like I’m suffocating. Living with Aarav, seeing his face every day, is a constant battle—between my mind and my heart. I want to protect myself and shield my heart from him. But at the same time... there’s this part of me that just wants to surrender, to let go. I want to forgive him. God, I want to just run into his arms like I used to when I was tired, when I needed some peace.
But then reality smacks me in the face—he doesn’t want me. He looks at me like he hates me. And yet... and yet, there are these little moments when he cares, when he remembers the tiniest details about me—stuff I didn’t even think he noticed back then. And my stupid heart? It flutters like it’s still sixteen.
