Page 39 of Protect my Heart
With that, he walks out of the kitchen, leaving me standing there, breathless and broken. I slide down against the counter, my sobs taking over. I don’t try to stop them. I hear the door close behind him, the sound echoing through the house. Yeah, run away. Leave me standing here,alone, like you always do.
CHAPTER 23
ANIKA
"Ani?" I hear Mumma's concerned voice, soft but urgent, fill the kitchen. "Get up, please." She places a trembling hand on my shoulder. I'm supposed to take care of her, not the other way around. It's not good for her to be stressed like this. I furiously wipe away the tears that keep falling, ignoring my own shaking hands. "Don't," she says, her voice breaking, her fingers tightening slightly on my shoulder.
I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself because I know how much it hurts her to see me like this. But when I look up at her face, all the self-control I thought I had vanishes. The dam inside me bursts. I get up suddenly, the desperate need to hug her overwhelming everything else. She immediately pulls me into her arms, holding me tightly like she's trying to shield me from everything that's hurting me.
Normally, her hug is my safe place. Normally, her arms are where I find comfort. But today... today, it's like nothing can reach me. The pain inside is too raw, too deep. I cry harder against her, my body trembling with the force of it, but even as she holds me, the usual comfort just doesn't come. It's like I have been crying for all those years.
Mumma feels it too. I know she does. She pulls back slightly, enough to look at my face. Her eyes are glistening, and before I can say anything, a tear slips from her eye. My heart twists painfully. Seeing her cry is a different kind of ache, one I don't know how to handle. She just had a heart operation not long ago. She's supposed to be resting, healing. Not worrying about me. Not falling apart because of me.
"Mumma, no," I whisper, cupping her shoulder gently. "You're supposed to be resting. You can't get upset... it's not good for your heart."
She shakes her head, blinking back more tears. "It's not his fault," she whispers so softly that I almost think I imagined it.
I freeze, confused. What is she talking about? I pull back slightly, searching her face. "What are you talking about, Mumma?" My voice is low, almost afraid to hear the answer.
She looks at me, really looks, like she's trying to find the right words but doesn't know where to start. "It's not his fault," she repeats, voice trembling.
A sinking feeling grows inside me. "Are you talking about Aarav?" I mutter. "If you are, I'm sorry you had to hear all that... you don't have to—" I'm cut off when she suddenly sobs, her body shaking.
"Maa," I panic, quickly grabbing her hand, "come on, let's sit down." I guide her to the living room, helping her settle onto the couch carefully. I rush back to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water, trying to calm myself down too. I don't know why she's crying like this. I don't know what she means. All I know is that I have to make sure she's okay. Whatever is happening between me and Aarav... it doesn't matter compared to her health.
When I come back, she's sitting there, silent tears running down her face. She looks so small, so fragile. It kills me to see her like this.
I sit beside her, offering her a glass of water. She shakes her head, pushing it away gently. "I need to tell you something," she says between her sobs, her voice so low I have to lean in to hear.
I stay quiet, giving her space. I want to tell her not to stress herself, to just leave it, but I know her. She won’t find peace unless she says whatever it is weighing on her chest. "He never got them," she finally says, staring at her lap.
My brows furrow. "What do you mean?"
She takes a shaky breath and looks at me with so much guilt it physically hurts. "I never posted your letters, Anika." For a second, I don't move. I just sit there, staring at her, her words echoing in my mind. No. No, that can't be right. I must have misheard. Tears fill my eyes and slide down on my cheeks. No, it couldn't be.
But when I look into her eyes, the truth is there. Plain as day. No denial. No excuses. Just guilt. Something cracks inside me. "I'm so—" she starts, but I cut her off.
"Why?" I snap and immediately regret the harshness in my tone when she flinches like I slapped her.
She lowers her head, her fingers twisting in her lap. Her whole body seems smaller, like she's caving in on herself.
"I did it for you, Ani," she says after a moment, voice barely a whisper.
"That's for me to decide, Mumma," I say, my voice cracking. "I believed you. I blamed him for twelve years,Mumma. Twelve years." I let out a humorless laugh, the kind that hurts more than it releases. "I spent twelve years trying to forget him. And when I couldn’t... I used every ounce of strength I had to hate him instead. And I still couldn't."
She stays quiet, not meeting my eyes. And seeing her like that, knowing she feels guilty, doesn’t even make me feel better. If anything, it makes me feel worse. Like the anger and hurt and betrayal are eating me alive from the inside out.
"You saw what it did to me," I whisper, the words tumbling out, unstoppable. "You wiped my tears yourself when I told you how he made me feel unwanted..." I look at my mother, feeling betrayed. "You were there when I broke apart, and all this time, you knew it wasn’t even his fault? You let me hate him for something he never did, Mumma. You let me drown in it."
She flinches again, curling into herself. I see the guilt in every line of her face. But I can’t stop. The pain is too loud, too heavy to keep inside.
"Ani..." she says, her voice breaking, "it's true."
And just like that, something inside me shatters completely. I sit there, breathing hard, trying to process everything. "Your father didn't like him, Anika," she murmurs.
"So what?" I snap, standing up. "You could have hidden it from him! You could have—"
"Anika!" A sharp voice cuts through my anger. I turn, startled. Aarav stands there, looking furious. "Don't talk to your mother like that."
