Page 15 of Forgive Me Not
‘You’ve been a lifeline, Joe. Like… like…’
‘Family?’
‘Better than that,’ she said roughly.
His face grew ugly for a second and he rubbed his stubble. ‘Yeah, you’re right.’
‘We don’t have to label what we have – family, friends, whatever… We’ve just been there for each other.’
He nodded. ‘I’ll miss our chats about movies and telly.’
‘One day we should go into directing.’
‘Nah. It’d be a crime to keep my good looks off the screen.’
‘Well, I’ll have to train to be your personal make-up artist then. You’ll need all the help you can get to be camera ready.’
For one second it was just like old times. Then reality kicked in. Both their mouths flatlined.
‘Look after yourself, Emma. Stay safe.’
‘You won’t change your mind? We can work this out, Joe.’ Her voice sounded like a draught that had managed to escape. ‘You told me about trying to make a go of it with that Kelly woman, before you ended up on the streets. Why not chance it again? I could make you so happy.’
His face hardened as he looked at the door. ‘Youknowwhy. Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be.’
Emma swallowed. ‘But how will we stay in touch? We could arrange to meet up in a couple of months. Decide on a meeting point either here or in London?’
‘I can’t think that far ahead,’ Joe said, and made to go.
‘Wait a minute…’ She picked up a nearby newspaper and scrabbled around for a pen. She tore off a strip of paper and wrote furiously for a minute. ‘Here’s my address, back at Foxglove Farm. It… it’s all I’ve got. I’m never going back there, but… I don’t know… post can get forwarded. Perhaps one day…’
Joe sighed, snatched the paper and left.
Emma’s day carried on carrying on, the sky becoming gloomier, her sitting in the dark, in the corner, doing what she did best. Eventually, in a haze, she packed up her belongings. Her supplies had run out. She needed to visit the supermarket.
How would she cope without Joe? How would he manage? She’d looked out for him. He’d looked out for her. Where would she go from here? Joe had stirred something inside that didn’t just want to live from day to day any more.
She felt so alone.
She wiped her eyes and gazed around the room that had witnessed some of her happier moments over the last few months, like her and Joe curled up together, chatting through the night. He’d talk about his brother. How they’d shared a love of skateboarding and would plot against the latest nanny. And then there were the friendly arguments over who to cast in their all-time favourite films. The latest had been overJaws. Beth, they’d finally decided, would be the mother on the beach who lost her son – she’d certainly slap honest police chief Martin Brody.He’dbe played by Stig, one of the few friends both felt they could trust completely.
Buoyed by the thought of her imminent liquid escape, with ceremony Emma said goodbye to the spiders and her memories. There’d be no return. The door rattled on its hinges as she kicked it shut behind her. She left the building, and there on the ground, caught in a bush, a strip of newspaper fluttered in the breeze. The address she’d given to Joe. She delved into her rucksack for coins and walked straight past it.
Chapter 6
Emma left the Badger Inn and crossed the road without looking, heading away from Broadgrass Hill and the farm. Two cars hooted. A retired couple stared. Outside the supermarket, the homeless woman with the asymmetrical hair glanced up.
She continued ahead, down a road lined with shops. It used to be a favourite avenue, with several pubs and a takeaway for the appetite that always hit after closing time. She squinted as the pet shop came into view. She had once worked there part-time. She’d combined it with helping out at the farm, once the exam failures had quashed her dreams of becoming a vet.
Confused for a moment, she stopped. What was she doing here? She needed to get back to the farm and fetch her belongings. About to turn back, she narrowed her eyes as a figure caught her eye. Sitting outside on the pavement, wearing a khaki bobble hat and reading a book… She stared at the chocolate Staffie dog, then broke into a run.
‘Stig!’ There was only one man she knew who wore his woolly hat come rain or shine.
The man stood up. Under the gaze of curious passers-by she threw herself at him and they hugged.
‘Whoa!’ He stepped back and his face broke into a smile.
With red cheeks, Emma smoothed down her top. ‘Sorry… it’s just good to see a friendly face.’
