Page 19 of Forgive Me Not
But they were both standing in the yard looking like geo-spotters without a map.
‘She’s developed a liking for tomatoes recently,’ said Bligh. ‘I’ll check in the greenhouse.’
As he left, Andrea put away her phone. Her eyes glistened. ‘Polly’s gone outside to see if she’s walking down Broadgrass Hill.’
Emma stepped forward to pat her arm, but Andrea pulled away.
‘Look,’ Emma said. ‘We need to work together on this for Mum’s sake, whatever you think of me coming back. Let’s go to the end of the drive and check the land either side. If she was walking and tripped over and fell, she could be lying in the patch of wild flowers or behind the apple trees.’
Andrea paused, and then nodded.
Breaking into a run, they hurried around the side of the house and through the kissing gate, both calling out. It reminded Emma of when they used to play hide-and-seek. Once she’d stayed hidden for hours amongst the foxgloves. Andrea had given up looking. An anxious Mum had been furious. Was this how she’d felt, her mind imagining the worst outcome? What if she’d got onto the road and been knocked down? Or perhaps shehadtripped over and was lying concussed.
‘I’ll check the wild flowers – you look amongst the apple trees.’
Andrea couldn’t reply. Her arms shook.
‘We’ll find her, I promise. She’s only been missing a little while.’
‘Your promises don’t mean anything,’ said Andrea, and gulped before they parted.
Nothing. No clues either, like a dropped chocolate wrapper or one of her cotton handkerchiefs embroidered with a G in the corner.
‘Whereisshe?’ said Andrea as they stood at the end of the drive by the birdbath. She rubbed her forehead. ‘I should have made sure she’d fallen asleep before leaving her.’ She looked at her watch. ‘And now we’re getting behind with the strawberries.’ Her fists curled. ‘When is life going to give me a break?’
Emma could have said:Now, because I’m back, but she didn’t. She just needed to listen. In the past she’d never done enough of that – she’d always been armed with a response she thought important or witty, or one that defended her old insecurities.
After more than two hours of searching, they were both running out of ideas. Mum wasn’t in front of the pond or in any of the sheds; Polly couldn’t see her along Broadgrass Hill and she wouldn’t have had time to get further than that. Andrea went inside to call the police.
Eventually the two sisters and Bligh met up outside the barn. Andrea went into the kitchen to fetch glasses of water. Despite the drop in temperature, they needed to rehydrate. The three of them sat in the dust and drank. Andrea popped a mint in her mouth and offered the tube of sweets to Bligh. More clouds congregated in the sky.
‘What if it rains?’ she said. ‘Mum feels the cold so easily these days. Or even worse, a storm? She’d be terrified.’
‘I just want to give her a hug,’ said Emma, ‘whenwe find her.’ The sisters looked at each other.
‘Are you thinking about Debenhams?’ muttered Andrea.
Emma nodded.
One day they’d both got lost shopping in one of Manchester’s biggest department stores. They’d only been six and eleven. Mum was on a rare shopping trip and lost sight of them in the women’s clothes section. Emma had tried so hard not to cry because she knew Andrea was being brave, sliding her arm around her shoulder, telling her thatwhen– not if – they found Mum, everything would be okay. Her grip had tightened as a strange man asked for their names. Turned out he was security, and within minutes he had reunited them with a distraught Gail.
‘What did the police say?’ Bligh took a large mouthful of water and wiped his mouth.
‘They’ve sent a patrol car out to look for her and are coming right over.’ Andrea slipped her mobile into her back trouser pocket. ‘They were trying to sound reassuring. Insisted it wasn’t uncommon for them to find and return residents to care homes. I explained that Mum had never wandered off before. They wanted to know what she was wearing. My mind went blank and I couldn’t remember.’ Her voice cracked as a spot of rain landed on her arm. ‘I’ll never forgive myself if something happens.’
‘Oh, Andrea…’ Emma reached out.
‘Don’t! If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this mess.’
Emma stared into her glass. WherecouldMum have gone? ‘I know we’ve looked in front of it, but what aboutbehindthe pond? It’s a long shot, but she used to love that view across the fields that border the motorway.’
‘I don’t let her down there any more in case she ends up on the road.’
The sisters looked at each other and put down their glasses. Gail never had liked being told what to do. Like the time the doctor ordered her to rest her twisted ankle – that advice hadn’t stopped her digging up potatoes. And when five-year-old Emma’s teacher had called her into the school one day and suggested she wasn’t being supportive enough of homework, Gail had told her that the whole idea was ridiculous and that children of that age learnt far more by exploring nature.
‘Bligh, can you stay here in case she turns up?’ asked Andrea as the two sisters got to their feet. At a fast pace they left the yard, passed the animal enclosures and skirted the pond behind the weeping willow.
‘Mum?’ shouted Andrea.
