Page 32 of Forgive Me Not
Emma took off her sunhat, dropped it to the ground and rubbed her sweaty palms down her cotton shorts. ‘I’ve been thinking.’ She looked at Bligh. ‘You were right. I shouldn’t have just turned up without warning. I’ve imposed on you both.’ She looked at Andrea. ‘I know it’s been difficult for you having me around – and in the house during the evening.’
The bottle squeaked as Andrea squeezed it tight. ‘Just spit it out, Emma. Coming back hasn’t been such an easy ride as you expected. You’ve got bored and now you and your inheritance are heading back to the city.’ She shook her head. ‘How very predictable.’
Emma sat down in the grass, legs crossed, in front of her sister.
‘You’re right,’ she said, and looked up. ‘It hasn’t worked out quite as I expected. That’s because, as usual, I’ve only been thinking about things from my point of view. So I’ve got a suggestion to make.’
Gail got up and started walking around.
‘I meant what I said when I came back – I want to help and make amends. But I realise now that expecting to simply slot into your lives like a missing part of a jigsaw… that was unrealistic, because the overall picture has changed. So…’ she cleared her throat, ‘I’ll move out. Give you breathing space. I’ll get here early each day – without needing to come into the farmhouse for breakfast or a shower – and I’ll stay for as long as you need me, looking after Mum, working in the shop, whatever. Aunt Thelma’s money will tide me over for a while.’
Andrea screwed the lid back onto her water bottle.
‘What do you think?’ said Emma.
‘Where exactly will you stay?’ A pinch of relief flavoured Andrea’s voice.
‘With Phil Brown.’
‘At the pet shop?’ asked Bligh incredulously.
‘You’re joking?’ said Andrea. ‘He tore a shred off me a couple of weeks ago – blamed me for you coming back, thought I’d tracked you down, said I hadn’t learnt my lesson. He kept going on about his car.’
‘We’ve talked. Come to an understanding. He needs money badly and has been looking for a lodger. I need a place to stay. The room is basic, which is why he hasn’t been able to fill it, but compared to a barn… He insisted I pay two months’ rent up front, which is fair enough, and he can ask me to leave at a moment’s notice.’
‘Wish I’d been there when you asked him. Well, it’s up to you,’ Andrea said stiffly, and got up. ‘We managed perfectly fine without you, and we can do again.’ She walked straight past Emma and rubbed Gail’s arm. ‘Egg on toast, Mum? And I could do with a cup of tea.’
‘There’s just one more thing… How’s it going with the tomatoes?’ asked Emma.
Andrea look puzzled. ‘Even better than usual. The extra warm weather has meant it’s a bumper harvest this year.’
‘Great, because I’ve got a favour to ask.’
‘I wondered how long it would take,’ Andrea said, in a tired voice.
‘I’ve decided to set up a soup run for the homeless who have been forced into Healdbury. Could I have our spare produce that doesn’t get eaten, frozen or made into jam? I’ve found Mum’s old recipe book full of ideas for using the farm’s fruit and vegetables.’ It had been stuffed at the back of Gail’s wardrobe next to the wooden chest. ‘Remember that cucumber relish she used to make? And the onion soup? She used to swear by putting a tablespoon of peanut butter into it.’
‘I’d forgotten that,’ said Andrea, her voice lacking the usual formality for a second. ‘It kind of worked.’
Emma nodded. ‘And you said there were a load of clothes Mum can’t wear any more because the fasteners are too fiddly. Perhaps I could hand those out as well.’
Andrea stared.
‘What’s the matter?’
‘What’s the catch?’
‘There isn’t one.’ Emma threw her hands in the air. ‘What do I have to do to prove that I’ve changed? Just name it, Andrea. Anything, because I’m running out of ideas here.’
‘Don’t you get it? It’s too late. It’s just not in me to trust you again. Give it up, Emma, like we had to give up on you all those months ago.’
‘No. No, I can’t do that. I won’t. Not yet,’ said Emma quietly. ‘We can work this out. I’m sure of it. We just need time.’
Time was one thing she had never valued in the old days. Whatever she’d wanted, she’d wantednow. She had left the farm for the city full of unrealistic dreams, believing they’d be easily achieved.
Andrea opened her mouth and then sighed. She looked at her watch. ‘I’m not going to argue. My energy is better spent elsewhere. Use the overripe or damaged produce if you must. Just don’t get under my feet.’
She linked arms with Gail and the two of them headed off to the farmhouse.
