Page 48 of Forgive Me Not
They sat, mesmerised, as the sun sank and tangerine stripes spread across the sky. Andrea had put an exhausted Gail to bed.
‘How about a hot chocolate before you head off?’ Emma asked. ‘It’s quite my favourite drink these days.’
‘Thanks, sounds great.’ He eyed her curiously. ‘So you don’t ever miss your old habits?’
She picked up his plate. ‘I used to think people were lying when they said they didn’t. But now? Me get back on that emotional see-saw? No thanks. Never again.’
She went towards the kitchen, leaving Stig with Dash and the Duchess, who were lying next to each other. It had just gone nine. Bats swooped over the barn. A hedgehog ambled across the yard. In the distance, an owl hooted. She opened the back door to find Andrea holding a pile of brochures.
‘What are those?’
‘Sheets of dreams I can no longer afford.’ She pushed past. Emma went inside. Bligh sat at the kitchen table in front of an empty mug.
‘What’s Andrea doing?’
‘Throwing away her travel brochures. She’s collected them over the years to do her drawings from. And she hoped she might need them one day to plan an amazing trip, but now, with the boiler on its last legs, I think she’s finally decided she’s never going to see further than Manchester.’
Emma’s stomach twisted as she put down the crockery and took the hot chocolate powder out of the cupboard. ‘This is my fault.’
‘Whether you were here or not, she’d never have left with Gail being ill.’
Emma made the drinks while Bligh took a last look at the boiler. When she went outside, Andrea was sitting chatting to Stig. They were flicking through the brochures. Emma put his mug down.
‘Do you want one, Andrea?’
‘Why not,’ she said.
Emma gave her the other mug. She couldn’t believe how much brighter Andrea looked gazing at the exotic photos.
‘India was great,’ said Stig. ‘I went there during a gap year and volunteered.’
‘I’ve always wanted to do that,’ said Andrea. ‘Where else have you been?’
‘The Peruvian Amazon with university… we monitored insect life and helped look after abused spectacled bears. The colours of the rainforest were magnificent. Vibrant. Clean. Unforgettable.’
‘Mum would have loved doing something like that.’ Andrea undid her ponytail. ‘We used to tease her that this farm was more of a centre for waifs and strays, as she was always taking in neglected or abandoned animals.’
‘I still can’t get used to seeing her eat meat,’ said Emma. She strained her ears. Was that the front doorbell?
Andrea picked up a brochure with the Eiffel Tower on the front. ‘I haven’t even been to Europe. In fact I’ve never been out of England.’
‘Where has your wanderlust come from? I mean…’ Stig smiled, ‘this is one big pile of brochures.’
‘We used to live in London. I was old enough to remember what that was like – and what a contrast it was moving to somewhere like this. It made me wonder what else I was missing around the world. I used to love living in the capital, with its impressive skyline and its parks and the whoosh of the underground. I thought that was all there was. I’d sketch all the well-known buildings – Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament… and then we moved here and I felt inspired by the natural beauty of the Peak District.’
‘Do you still draw? I’d love to see your work,’ said Stig.
‘No. Not any more.’ Her face hardened.
‘I grew up in Blackpool and never thought I’d want to leave,’ said Stig. ‘What with the arcades and the rides, it felt magical as a child. And there was the sea… But then I went on a school trip to Switzerland. It was the second year at high school and I came back determined to choose geography for GCSE. Mum and Dad laughed at my non-stop chat about the food and the mountain scenes. I couldn’t believe the Swiss had four national languages. Suddenly Blackpool seemed so small.’
Emma couldn’t bear to look at Andrea’s wistful face any more. All these years she’d wanted to travel. Because of Emma, she hadn’t. She went inside and up to Gail’s room, mindful of her mum’s comment about missing her necklaces. The one she’d worn today had kept her hands busy. Perhaps it would offer some comfort if she wore something around her neck more often. She used to have an especially favourite one her daughters had discovered in Afflecks in Manchester. It was silver-painted and bore large charms to do with sewing: a thimble and a large needle, a pin and a silver measuring tape, along with a pin cushion. They were bulky enough not to be broken by her fiddling.
Because her mum was asleep Emma opened all the drawers as quietly as she could and then looked under the bed and finally in the wardrobe. Perhaps it was in the wooden chest. She lifted it out and carried it downstairs. Her friend Beth had taught her many tricks, one of which was picking locks. She’d check with Andrea first. She headed outside and explained.
Andrea looked up from the brochures and shrugged. ‘I don’t see why not. I’d forgotten about that old box.’
At that moment, Bligh appeared, closely followed by…
