Page 54 of Forgive Me Not
Bligh looked down at his fists. ‘Sorry,’ he said to Stig. ‘I didn’t mean for you to get in the way.’
Joe. Joe was really here. Emma walked up to him and scanned that familiar face, the expressive eyes, the sardonic mouth. A wave of pain washed through her chest. For a second, all the old feelings came back – the crisp agony that had cut through her when he left.
‘Stig? Good to see you, mate,’ said Joe in a daze. The two men hugged. He stared back at Emma. ‘What’s this about a baby?’
‘I’d like to know that too,’ said Andrea in a strained voice.
Gail was still pulling at her cardigan sleeve. ‘Is this my fault?’ she said. ‘All this noise – am I in trouble?’
Andrea breathed in and put an arm around her mum’s shoulders. ‘Of course not. It’s just the men being silly. Come on, let’s get you something to eat, and then how about a nice relaxing bath?’
‘We should give Emma and Joe some space,’ said Stig, one hand over his face. He turned to Andrea. ‘Thanks for today’s work. I’ll get going.’
‘First you’ll need a packet of frozen peas on that eye. And it’s nice to have someone around here who knows how to behave.’ Andrea glared at Bligh. ‘Hold on a moment, Stig. I’ll just sort Mum out.’ She looked at Emma and opened her mouth, before changing her mind.
‘Andrea, wait,’ said Bligh, and followed her inside.
Emma led Joe past the animal pens. They reached the weeping willow. She looked him up and down. His arms slid around her. He felt sturdier than before. His embrace used to make her feel so safe.
They sat down on the bench. Complimented each other on their healthy appearance. Emma asked how he’d managed to track her down, given that he’d thrown away her address. Joe smiled. Said that Foxglove Farm, Broadgrass Hill, Healdbury wasn’t exactly difficult to remember. He was staying at the Badger Inn, having finished work early. He lived in Blackpool now and was an assistant manager in one of the arcades.
‘That’s where Stig comes from,’ said Emma. ‘Sounds like you’re doing well.’
‘Management like my ability to deal with troublemakers. I never realised living on the streets would improve my CV.’ He gave a wry smile. ‘How come Stig’s here?’
‘Long story – rough sleepers have been moved out of the city. What made you think I’d come home? It was a bit of a gamble.’
‘I figured that if you weren’t here, your family might have had news.’
She asked about his own family. Now and again he contemplated contacting them, he said. That was a start.
‘So why did you come to find me? I thought—’
‘I think I get to ask the questions first.’ His eyes fell to her stomach.
So Emma told him. She explained how she’d never got to use his tampons.
‘And what did you do?’ asked Joe ‘Did you have the baby? Am I… Can I meet…?’
She had to turn away, unable to bear the note of excitement in his voice. He’d talked to her once about how difficult it had been for him to accept that he’d probably never have kids.
‘Oh. Did… didn’t you go through with the pregnancy? I mean…’ his voice faltered, ‘I wouldn’t blame you. Of course I wouldn’t. I understand. You and I had enough trouble looking after ourselves.’
Emma’s vision blurred for a second. She explained what had happened. Gently Joe took her chin and moved her head to face him.
‘The miscarriage was early, but I just got this feeling… I named her Josephine – after you.’
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t with you.’
‘I wanted her so much,’ she gulped.
‘And you’d have been the best mum ever.’
‘I hope so,’ she said in a muffled voice. ‘You know, the pregnancy prompted me to get treatment.’
They talked about rehab. Joe had finally got a detox in London and a case worker who understood him.
‘What happened with you, Ems… it was a complete mind-fuck and made me realise I had to turn things around.’
