Page 21 of Knowing You
‘The shit’s really hit the fan this time.’
Irfan doesn’t often swear. We’ve just come out of a meeting with Felicity.
‘How can this have happened?’ she said. ‘We’ve lost Gary. Irfan? Violet? I want an explanation.’
We didn’t know how to reply.
‘Did you share our vision with him? Our comprehensive ideas for his branding? Is there anything that he’s not been happy about that you haven’t mentioned to me?’
Felicity queried the communication between us and our authors. Do we respond to their emails in a timely manner? Do we understand that the small things matter so much to writers like a card or a bunch of flowers on publication day?
‘I built up this business from nothing,’ she said. ‘Coming from a family of self-made entrepreneurs, I know more than anyone that the journey down is far quicker than the journey up. We can’t ever afford to lose great acquisitions for no good reason. I thought Gary had a long future ahead of him with Thoth.’
‘So did we,’ said Irfan, ‘but—’
‘And of all the publishers, we had to lose him to Alpaca Books,’ she interjected. Her short silver-streaked hair normally suited her sallow skin, but today it made her look older than her fifty years and accentuated the lines.
Felicity had gone into publishing because of her love of science fiction. She gained experience at the big houses and then set up on her own. Her family invested the necessary money. She’s always been proud of having paid that back within five years. She’s now one of the most respected independent publishers in the industry. Yet her appetite for success is still sharp enough to smart from disappointment, like when she lost theEarth Gazerseries to Beatrix. From that point forwards, she’s seen her as a personal rival.
‘She spoke to us as if we were interns fresh out of university,’ says Irfan and sharpens a pencil ferociously. ‘And as for Felicity scheduling that meeting next week, for us to go through all our authors and reassure her that we’re doing everything we can for them and their books… you’d think she’d give us some credit for those who sign again and again. Maybe it’s time I thought about moving on.’
‘She’s just disappointed, like us.’ I get up, walk around to his side of the desk and take away the sharpener. I squeeze his shoulder. ‘You’re a fantastic editor, Irfan. It’s been such an honour to work with you. I’ve learnt so much. This is a knee-jerk reaction from Felicity. Don’t respond in the same way.’ I’m glad I’ll have Bella to talk about it with when I get home. That prospect makes me feel better already. Before, when things went wrong at work, it was so hard to return home to an empty flat.
‘But—’
‘Think of me, if nothing else. If you left, I’m not sure I could manage without Farah’s low-fat vegan beetroot brownies.’
He puts down the pencil. ‘Well, if you put it like that…’
We smile at each other.
‘Seriously. Don’t worry. She’s on the phone right this minute to Gary’s agent. He’s as angry as her. She’ll soon realise there’s no logic to his decision and that there is nothing we could have done.’
Irfan sighs and nods as I return to my desk.
‘It doesn’t help that Thoth’s profits have taken a downturn this last quarter,’ he says. ‘Those hardback publications were a bad call. Thoth needs something big. Did Lenny… I’m sorry to mention him, but—’
I hold up my hand. ‘I’m okay. It’s been nearly two months.’ My gold nail varnish shines. Bella encouraged me to buy it. We are going shopping again today as it’s Friday and the office closes early.
He studies me. ‘You do seem a bit brighter, of late – does that mean I can tell Farah to stop worrying?’
‘Please do! So, you were saying…?’
‘Did Lenny ever mention an author called Casey Wilde?’
‘I’ve read his manuscript. There’s no doubt about it,Alien Heartsis pure brilliance.’
‘His?’
‘Yes – although keep that to yourself.’ I didn’t care about getting Lenny into trouble but coming out about his gender was the author’s right, not mine. Lots of male writers write as women. It isn’t unusual. But it’s Wilde’s decision when to reveal the truth.
Irfan lets out a low whistle. ‘It’s created such a buzz. I’d heard on the grapevine that Alpaca Books is a strong contender. But we’re another smaller publishing house and haven’t even received it for submission. Why Alpaca? They haven’t got the financial clout of one of the Big Five. If only we could sign that book. What a coup that would be. A dream come true. It would mean so much for Felicity and would make up for losing Gary.’
All day I mull over Irfan’s words. He talks about Wilde again when Farah comes into the office. She finishes early on a Friday as well. She doesn’t express much interest, however, because she’s staring in my direction. A not unpleasant sensation buzzes in my stomach lately when someone notices the change in my appearance. At first, when Hugo started to praise me, it felt uncomfortable – like the high strappy sandals I bought last week. I practised wearing them at home and almost fell over. But now these comments feel like an affirmation that I am moving on from being the person Lenny felt he could treat so badly.
When Irfan disappears to check on one last pricing issue with sales, she helps me put my coat on. Farah is thoughtful like that.
‘And how are you?’ she says.
