Page 44 of Knowing You
I go back into my bedroom and sit on the bed. Two weeks isn’t long to get Casey to accept that invitation to the party. I have no time to lose and need to be more proactive – whatever other people think. I take off a slipper and fling it across the room. My breathing becomes rapid and I exhale.
Bella has been dropping hints that I should work out some intricate plan to seduce him, but even the new me thinks that’s going too far. Something like that, it can’t… it shouldn’t be forced.
I pick up my phone and find Casey’s number. I’d had trouble finding a hair appointment this week. Perhaps he could help. I couldn’t think of any other excuse to meet.
Hi. How is your mum? I hope all is okay. I’m hoping you can help me out – but no problem if you can’t. I’m out to dinner Wednesday night and want to look my best but the salon I use is booked up and I don’t want to try somewhere new. Whereas you’d feel like more of a familiar option I can trust. Is there any way you could fit me in around five pm for a blow dry?’
Vi X
The book club was going out for a meal for Pauline’s birthday. A new pub in town. Perhaps if I looked my smartest, the members wouldn’t criticise my appearance. I sighed, not really looking forward to seeing them all again.
Hey, Vi,
Sure. You off to anywhere nice? I close at five but can make time for you.
Casey X
I push the laptop off my lap, let go of my phone and smile. I message back my thanks without answering his question and pick up the slipper I’d thrown. Knots in my stomach unfurling, I slip it back on my foot.
Chapter 19
I can hardly concentrate on work when Wednesday arrives.
‘Violet?’ says Irfan sharply as I zone out of a meeting with an author. Heat creeps up my neck. It’s a debut and really important that I listen to the writer’s ideas on how they’d like to be branded. After they’ve left, Irfan calls me back into the side room.
‘What’s up? You kept staring into space. And yesterday Felicity complained that you’d not replied to two of her emails, one of them marked urgent.’ He offers me one of the biscuits but I decline. I had juice for lunch and apart from that, am managing on black coffee.
‘Whilst Felicity apologised, we still have to do our damndest to prove our ability as editors.’ His voice softens. ‘You okay?’
‘Yes. Sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night. And I’m going to have to leave early.’ I consult my watch. It’s four. ‘In half an hour. I hope that’s okay. I’ll check my inbox again before I go.’
Irfan stretches out and yawns. ‘Fair enough. And Farah’s coming in any minute – we’re leaving early too as we’re still catching up from the weekend.’
‘The washing machine flooding?’
‘It looks like we’ll need new flooring in both the kitchen and living room.’ He sits more upright. ‘But I got in an hour early this morning. Perhaps you could do that tomorrow.’
I’m just about to leave my desk when Farah appears. She gives Irfan a kiss and then comes over to give me a hug. My arms hang by my sides as I allow hers to circle my shoulders. Eventually she pulls away.
‘Everything okay?’ she says.
‘Shouldn’t it be?’ I reply and my stomach scrunches up, waiting for her to make a critical comment. I used to appreciate her maternal worries. Now I find they are just plain patronising.
She delves into her pocket and pulls out a chocolate bar. ‘You should try this. It’s my current favourite.’
‘No thanks,’ I say abruptly. I’m not going to defend myself and make up some excuse as to why I can’t eat it. Why should I have to?
‘Oh, go on – otherwise I’ll only eat it.’
My forehead tightens and I glance around. A couple of employees are staring. I feel my cheeks blush. ‘Farah. Please. No,’ I say in a low voice.
‘But—’
Suddenly I feel overwhelmed by tiredness and something snaps inside me, like it had on Sunday with Kath. She and Kath never used to give me any advice when it really mattered, when I used to live my life with so little style.
‘I know the changes I’ve made might make you question your own lifestyle, but that’s your problem, not mine.’
‘What do you mean?’ She shoves the chocolate bar back into her pocket.
