Page 59 of Knowing You
She shakes her head.
‘Is… is everyone at Sunflower okay?’ What if it’s one of the friends I made feel old and unnecessary? Nora is getting on in years. Perhaps I really upset her. My chest tightens.
‘It’s just… I’m always here, you know – to talk to. I won’t judge. I can help. When you’re ready, Violet. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise things had gone so far. I knew something was up. I shouldn’t have just stood by and let it get worse.’
What is she talking about?
Kath takes a deep breath. ‘I know about Bella.’
Heat floods into my face. ‘Know what? Have you been snooping around my flat?’
‘No, of course not. But I couldn’t find Flossie after she’d done her business. I wanted to double check that she was nicely settled before I left. I found her in Bella’s room. I couldn’t help but see—’
‘See what? Bella’s got nothing to hide.’
‘All this time you’ve kept it secret. I can’t imagine how much you’ve suffered.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’ My hands feel sweaty. She can’t know the truth. ‘Me and Bella get on fine.’
Kath touches my arm but I pull away.
‘You need to get rid of her, sweetheart,’ she said. ‘It’s the only way. You must know that. She’s bad for you. Let me help. I’ll—’
No. No. This was Mum and Flint all over again. Someone else thinking they knew best when all they’re doing is looking in from the outside. Mum didn’t really know Flint and Kath doesn’t know Bella. How she’s the reason I get through each day. Without her, I’d still be wading through the swamp of self-pity I ended up in after I found out about Lenny and Beatrix.
‘It’s none of your business,’ I say in a raised voice and get to my feet. ‘There is no need for you to worry. Just leave me and Bella alone. She’s a good friend and I won’t have anyone tell me otherwise.’
‘She’s a friend? Really?’ Kath stands up and stares me straight in the face. ‘Because I don’t agree. I can see her exactly for what she is. Her room and its contents told me everything I need to know. And I know that’s hard for you to hear, but she’sdangerous. Enough is enough, Violet. Can’t you see how she’s running and ruining your life? Let go of this parasite before it ends in the worst possible way.’
‘That’s not true. I don’t want to hear any more of your false accusations. You don’t know her like I do.’
I hurry out of the flat, ignoring Kath’s calls. I descend the stairs two at a time and rush out into the garden. I start running, slowly at first. I cross roads and swerve around bins and people. My pace becomes quicker. It starts to rain. I hardly feel it.
Chapter 25
It’s Sunday lunch time. I sit in the Canterbury Tales. The landlord I met at the Chapter Battle recognises me and jokes about why a woman of my class would waste her time with a scoundrel like Casey. I take out my phone and look at Vintage Views. The latest review is one by Nora about a gay romance. Pauline’s before that focuses on a top ten thriller. They are gaining followers, some influential, and by the looks of it, quickly learning how to best use hashtags.
Gay romance. See, your friends aren’t outdated or old.
I ignore the voice in my head that dares to disagree with Bella and I sip my sparkling water. Casey texted and suggested meeting for lunch. He’s the kind of man who appreciates transparency, so I’ve decided to ask him outright about Beatrix’s underwear. I start to read Nora’s review when the table rocks. Casey steadies the scratched surface and puts down his pint.
‘Sorry I’m a bit late. I overslept,’ he explains and sits down.
Was he with Beatrix again?
‘Vi?’
‘What? Oh, no problem. I haven’t been here long.’
‘Everything okay? Why did you rush off yesterday despite my irresistible offer of pancakes and cherries?’ His hand covers mine. ‘After fainting like that, I was worried when you didn’t reply to my texts until late last night.’
‘Sorry. I was still recovering. It must have been the heat and too much drink.’ Keeping my tone light, I raise my glass. ‘I’m still rehydrating.’
Casey studies my face. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. Look, let’s order and—’
He puts the menu on the table next to ours. ‘I’m serious. Friday night… it was…’ He shook his head. ‘There’s no other words. Vi, it was fucking fantastic. I can’t stop thinking about it.’
