Page 26 of Lost Luggage
Flo wiped her mouth. ‘To become what? Minimalist like your lounge?’ She took another bite. ‘Carrot aphids are really cool, you know, and if gardeners blast them off with water’ – she enacted holding a hose – ‘often ants will lift them back on, because when aphids feed they produce honeydew. That’s like the creamiest ever chocolate to ants.’
‘Dolly tells me your brand is learning.’
‘Yes and hers is self-discovery. What would yours be, Leroy? Playing games? Dancing? Going out with friends?’
After much thought Leroy announced it was similar to Dolly’s, now that he was on a journey.
When Flo left to go to the bathroom Dolly said, ‘Except your journey isn’t quite the same as mine, is it?’ She stared at his unremarkable taupe shirt. ‘When I think back to the Leroy I knew before Tony and what you’ve said about your life over the years, the partying, the music, the extravagant wardrobe, none of that ever changed, not when you two were still dating. It’s only since Tony has left that you’re re-thinking.’
‘But that’s the same with you, since losing Greta.’
‘No… I think I lost myself years ago, when I first moved in with my sister, after I… was hurt. I don’t want that to happen to you. Tony’s a fool. The old you deserves better.’
Leroy pushed away his plate. ‘I don’t blame Tony for leaving. I’ve turned into a boring old fart. I stopped moving with the times. Are you saying I can’t change? You had a wake-up call when Greta passed. Aren’t I allowed one too, thanks to my trip to Jamaica that made me feel really alive again?’
‘Of course you are – as long as it’s for the right reasons.’
Leroy’s eyes glistened and his hand stretched across the table.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.’ She gulped. ‘I’ll shut up.’
‘You haven’t. It’s bloody brilliant, seeingmyDolly back, I’ve missed the one who loved a debate.’
Flo appeared in the doorway and Leroy beckoned her in. ‘Come on, tell me about the next stage of your badge.’
‘Only if you tell me first about getting Tony back. Have you got a plan?’
‘Were you listening at the door, madam?’ asked Leroy.
Flo grinned and sat down again. She wanted to know about Dolly’s last boyfriend, if she didn’t mind talking about it. Dolly shrugged. Leroy jumped in and said it was a postie. He’d asked Dolly out the day she retired. 2016. David Bowie had just died. The postie had asked Leroy’s advice, having suddenly realised life was short. Leroy told him to go for it. Dolly dated him for a month.
‘Yes, Derek was a lovely chap. We’d always enjoyed a nice chat when he delivered my letters. But like with the other men I’ve briefly dated, as I’ve got older, the chemistry wasn’t there.’
‘Did you never want to get married?’ Flo pushed.
‘Only once. When I was young. That was the one long relationship I’ve had but it didn’t work out. He was called Fred. You don’t decide you want to get married and then it happens, you see… it’s all about meeting the right person. And for me, whether I like it or not… it’s always been Fred.’ Dolly had never admitted that to herself before.
‘Whereas for some people there’s more than one soulmate out there,’ said Leroy. ‘I want to get back with Tony, but perhaps I’d still be with Charlie if he hadn’t moved back to the States.’
‘Charlie was fun,’ said Flo and she grinned. ‘I was only small but remember him kneeling on the floor and pretending to be a rodeo bull whilst I sat on top.’
‘Charlie knew how to have a laugh, for sure,’ said Dolly. ‘He was a great dancer, too, just like Fred.’
‘Like Fred Astaire, a famous dancer,’ suggested Leroy, and he got to his feet, swirling around, gyrating his body. With a comment about grown-ups being embarrassing, Flo took out the Guide badge book. The next stage was to consider how she communicated her brand and how different aspects of her life showcased it.
‘I guess I like practical clothes, and I like pop music but am more a fan of wildlife soundtracks – bees buzzing, whale song. There’s a brilliant app my science teacher told me about, it’s called Nature Noises.’
Whilst Leroy tackled the washing-up, Dolly read the badge book. ‘It says to think about the language you use to communicate your brand, when speaking to different groups of people, to put together lists of words and phrases. How do you chat to your friends about bugs?’
‘You already know that, Dolly,’ said Flo. ‘I talk about all the fun stuff. How violin beetles are shaped like violins.’ Flo mimed playing that instrument. ‘How caterpillars are awesome as they have twelve eyes.’ She made her eyes bulge. ‘How bonkers it is that butterflies taste with their feet.’ She held her nose. ‘And how slugs can stretch to almost twenty times their length, like a piece of chewing gum.’ She extended her arms into the air.
‘So you make jokes, use vivid comparisons and hand gestures, and your face, to express your enthusiasm. You choose descriptive words like awesome and bonkers…’
Flo jotted everything down.
‘Next, teachers… Do you communicate your brand to them in the same way? Or are they a different audience?’
‘Hey, this sounds like a business meeting,’ said Leroy, drying his hands on a tea towel.
