Page 35 of Lost Luggage
As she and Dolly walked along Pingate Road, on the way to Guides, for the umpteenth time Flo chatted happily about the elevator pitch she’d given at the meeting last week. She hadn’t even used her video, and Dolly asked her to tell her again how some of the girls asked her afterwards about the big spider’s web and fast tiger beetle. Her young neighbour’s boosted self-esteem warmed Dolly’ heart. Despite the setting of the sun, tepid spring rain had stolen the chill. Dolly hadn’t told Flo or Leroy about Fred’s visit the weekend before last. Yet she’d thought of little else as she’d completed the house’s restoration back to how it was before Greta passed. Every room stood pristine and dust-free. Dolly had continued with small changes as well. At the weekend, after Dolly went swimming, she and Leroy had gone to IKEA again and she’d bought a new duvet set for her bed, and the lamp in the shape of a flamingo standing on one leg that she’d seen there before. Leroy also bought more sober sheets, to replace his vivid sets. Tony had agreed to meet him at the fancy bar in Spinningfields tomorrow.
‘Aren’t you jumping the gun?’ Dolly had asked as he’d placed grey silk pillowcases into the trolley. Vigorously Leroy shook his head. Tony had signed off his last text with a kiss. Leroy also bought two velvet cushions, black trimmed with gold, Tony’s favourite colour combination. Dolly had pushed him further. ‘You heard what Anushka said about her uncle… Is it really worth pretending to be someone you aren’t to get Tony back? Is being on your own for a while so bad? You weren’t dating for a year or two before you met Charlie yet I don’t remember you being unhappy. The same during the years between Charlie leaving and you meeting Tony, once you’d got over him going back to America.’
‘It was different then. The future still seemed full of opportunities, but since I’ve retired and my seventies are looming… since visiting Jamaica, hearing stories about relatives who’ve passed, whom I’ve never met, and never will, it’s made me realise life really is finite.’ He’d shrugged with a dismissive air. ‘Anyway, who’s to say I’m pretending?’
Trouble was, Dolly knew that if you told a lie often enough, it felt like the truth. All these years she’d become the expert and not allowing herself to miss Fred, she’d done her best to rewrite her feelings and had accepted the ending, that she’d never wanted, to their story, insisting it was all for the best. But now he was back, she’d couldn’t deny that there’d always been a part of her that hadn’t accepted those lies.
Her thoughts shifted back to her own house and the one item in the kitchen that had stayed dirty since Fred visited. His cup stood on the kitchen unit, staring at her, proof that the unimaginable had happened, even though her first inclination, after he’d left, had been to throw it in the bin. The mould that had formed on his cup was a reminder of how poisonous his visit had been.
Phoebe had rung, apologising for giving her granddad Dolly’s address. Fred had kept the details of what happened to himself and simply told her secrets were best kept in the past. But secrets were only secrets if they were based on the truth. Dolly had ended the call swiftly. She needed to put Fred firmly back in the past and that meant that he took Phoebe with him. At the thought of losing that growing friendship, a heaviness spread through Dolly’s limbs. There would be no bake-off happening in April, not for Dolly.
‘Tonight I’ll find out if I’ve won my first badge,’ said Flo, an arm linked through hers, a gesture Dolly treasured. She’d missed that closeness with Greta, even though, as her sister’s arthritis had worsened, linking arms had been more out of necessity.
‘Did you show your elevator pitch to your parents, like I suggested?’ She hadn’t liked to ask before, not wanting to make a big thing of it.
Turned out Flo had practised in front of them too. They’d clapped the first time she did it without messing up the words. Said it sounded good, and when she got back last Tuesday, from doing it for real, they asked what other bug facts Flo knew. Her mum nearly agreed cockroaches were amazing when Flo told her they had almost a million brain cells. As for the park trip they went on, Flo’s parents declared she was very clever, recognising all the different species by remembering what she’d seen on the computer.
‘I didn’t tell you any of this,’ said Flo, ‘’cos I wanted to wait and see if they’d really changed, and today they asked if I’d like to visit Manchester Museum this weekend – an end-of-term treat. I’ve got two weeks off school from Friday. It’s got a massive room full of insect displays. Also… I’m going to take my Promise and stay at Guides. But don’t say I told you so,’ she added and glared.
‘I know you… held back because of your secret. Is that all sorted now too? You can always talk to me about it, you know.’
‘It’s okay… I’ve come to a decision.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m going to live with what they did. They might believe telling me the truth will hurt. And me questioning them might hurt them too. No one wins and I’ve decided that maybe it doesn’t really matter.’
Flo reckoned some secrets were so small you forgot them, like hiding her lunchbox raisins. Whereas other secrets seem huge at first and you don’t forget, but you might get used to them over time. Flo talked about that sound in the trees in the jungle, a kind of buzzing, a singing – well it was made by cicadas. They were a bit like grasshoppers and lived for ages underground, some for seventeen years. When they crawled out they didn’t bite, didn’t sting, some didn’t even eat, they just searched for a partner, made babies and died. That had made Flo think… secrets could be like that. If they were kept hidden long enough, there was a chance they wouldn’t hurt anyone if they ever came out.
They approached the church hall and Flo ran off to greet Anushka, turning to wave at Dolly before she disappeared through the side entrance to the building. Dolly smiled at Anushka’s mum before turning to go. Edith approached in the opposite direction. She clutched a plastic bag to her bosom.
‘Spare kettle,’ she said. ‘The one in the hall is playing up. I wouldn’t want the Guides leaders to go without.’
‘Can I ask you a question, Edith,’ said Dolly. ‘When we met at IKEA you mentioned that one time you and Greta agreed on something… the meeting about what parishioners should leave at gravesides.’
‘What of it?’
‘Could you tell me what time it finished? I… I’ve been going over that day in my head for other reasons and can’t help fixating. You know what it’s like when you live on your own, you mull over the past.’
Edith raised an eyebrow.
‘Greta said the meeting went on longer than she thought it would…’
Edith took a few minutes. ‘Only a little. It finished at half-past eleven. My husband and I always had a pub lunch out on a Saturday and that day was his birthday. He banned all talk about gravesides, said it was morbid, he was feeling old enough having turned twenty-six.’
Dolly frowned. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m not much older than you, Dorothy, I haven’t lost my marbles yet,’ she said curtly.
‘No of course not, sorry. So… did she mention where she went after that?’ Now and then Greta stayed after a meeting to mend pew cushions and choir robes, or to have coffee with other committee members.
‘What’s all this about?’
‘I met an old… someone I used to know, recently, and they insist they spent the afternoon with her. But, like you, I distinctly recall that day and Greta telling me the meeting went on a bit and that’s where she was. My mother visited that evening, you see, that didn’t happen often and that’s another reason why I’ve never forgotten. But I don’t want to call this person a liar if they’re right and I’m wrong.’
Edith broke eye contact. ‘If Greta was lying, she must have had good reason.’
‘Please. It’s important.’
Edith hugged the bag tighter.
‘You said Greta was emotional,’ continued Dolly. ‘I assumed that must have been because the meeting got heated.’
