Page 61 of The Winter We Met
‘Sure. My family. Friends. But you, Jess, and Willow Court have gone some way to filling the gap whilst I’m abroad.’
My throat went dry as I tried to find the words to tell Nik just how much I wanted to get close.
‘So, the offers of help that have come in – what kind of things?’
Reluctantly, I tapped on the email icon on my phone. ‘Wow. Another five.’ I read one quickly. ‘Oh. My. Goodness. You’ll never guess what someone has offered.’
‘A real-life reindeer to ride on? The abominable snowman to liven things up?’
‘Idiot,’ I said. ‘Although you are almost right with the last one – to help set the wintry scene that characterisesIt’s a Wonderful Life, get this… a snow machine company called Pro Snow has offered to create the illusion of falling snow outside for us on the day of the party.’
‘Love that idea!’
‘Does it snow much in Sydney?’
‘Now and then. The last decent fall was in 1836.’
‘You’re joking.’
‘Sadly not – it’s the price we pay for the ace summers. I can’t wait to see some here – even if it is manmade.’ He hugged his knees.
‘You look like a small child on Christmas Eve.’
‘Magic is important, even for adults.’
I shuffled nearer to him. This was it. However annoyingly, at that moment, Oliver popped into my head with all his doubts and unfair accusations. I stared into the distance as something bleeped. Perhaps our friendship, us being flatmates, had come to its natural end. My chest hurt as I recalled the moment I mentioned him moving out. The shock on his face. My shock that I’d actually said it.
‘Another email has just landed,’ said Nik. He picked up my phone and passed it to me. I looked at the email address of the sender. It was from a woman called Karen.
The skin tightened across my forehead. I couldn’t even blink. It was as if the universe had been listening to me and Nik chatting earlier.
‘It’s from my mother.’
28
I entered the living room and sat down on the sofa. I didn’t take off my coat. Or hat. Buddy jumped up next to me and batted me with his nose. He let out low whines, nudging me as I didn’t react. I’d made my excuses to Nik as quickly as I could. He walked me to the train station, without asking any questions. In a daze I got into my train, needing to be alone. I hadn’t opened the email. This single phone notification had brought back the inner turmoil. Was Mum still married? Had she got another child of her own? Did that mean I had a brother or sister? Perhaps she’d been jailed again. Did she want money? She must have been local to have seen the news article and my email address.
Oliver padded into the kitchen, wearing his Misty’s uniform. It had just gone midnight. He couldn’t have been in long. He filled the kettle and then went back into his bedroom as it heated up. Seconds later he came out again.
He stood in front of me and I stared past his shoulder. Buddy licked his hand before sliding down to stretch out on the floor. ‘I’ve thought everything through I… I was taken aback that you wanted me to move out, but it’s absolutely your call. I’ve started looking for another flat and will try to make it happen as soon as possible.’
Perhaps Mum was ill. Maybe she’d only got months left to live.
‘If I can I’ll move out before Christmas. I’m sorry I’ve upset you so much. I really care about you, but that’s no excuse to—’
I’d started to shiver. He knelt down and frowned. ‘What’s the matter?’ He pulled off my woolly hat and took my hand. ‘Let me get us a cup of tea.’ Minutes later, he was back with two mugs. I sat quietly sipping, in my dress and high shoes. They weren’t really me. My heels had blisters. As if he could sense this, Oliver fetched my slippers and swapped the footwear over. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ I shook my head vigorously. ‘Okay. I’ll just keep you company. Let me know if you’d rather I disappear.’
‘It’s Mum,’ I eventually croaked. ‘She’s got in touch after that article in theGazette. I got an email this evening.’
‘Christ.’ He took my hand again. ‘What does she want?’
‘I don’t know. I can’t face reading it.’ I put down my drink.
‘You don’t owe her anything, Jess. No one would blame you for just deleting it.’
‘What if there’s a message in it for Gran? I can tell from her occasional remarks that, as she’s getting older, the estrangement cuts deeper. I think moving into Willow Court made Gran more aware of her mortality and I expect… I expect she’d like a sense of closure.’
‘I expect you’d want answers too. I’d love to ask my parents why they were never around when I was a kid, whether they loved me or not. I know you’ve moved on, Jess – on the surface. But maybe this will turn out to be an opportunity for you and Alice to find a bit of… of solace.’
