Page 87 of The Winter We Met
‘Ask Father Christmas to sort it out?’ I said hopefully.
‘My advice, for what it’s worth, is to talk. Get things out in the open.’ He stood up. ‘Come on. I noticed a sign in The Silver Swan’s window earlier – let’s pick up Buddy and then I’ll shout you a hot mulled wine before we both head home.’
39
The rest of the week at Under the Tree felt like the very best kind of Groundhog Day, helping customers choose the perfect Christmas presents for the little ones in their lives – and fighting over the last doughnut in the staff room with Seb. The evenings were a different matter, with Oliver working the evening shifts as companies’ festive nights out started to take place. I’d missed his company, sitting on the sofa with my meal for one. It was hard to imagine a new flatmate replacing the banter and easiness between us. So I’d kept busy, ringing back several people who’d called who were involved in the party.Thanks for letting me know and, agreed, it’s probably best if choir members with sniffles don’t turn up as the residents are especially vulnerable at this time of year. Sorry, I’m afraid your dog will have to stay in the car even if he is a great help to you, setting up decorations.
Buddy kept being Buddy, laying by my side in front of the telly. Undemanding. Affectionate. A good listener. Why did everyone else have to change?
The only person I wanted to be different was Mum. I got up Sunday morning and stretched and padded into the bathroom. I switched on the kettle and looked at my phone as I did every morning. Gran had said she’d let me know if she’d got in touch. She hadn’t, Gran had simply texted to say that Cynthia had dropped off the eggnog pies and spiced rum fruitcakes and they smelt delicious. Yawning, Oliver stumbled into the kitchen wearing jeans, and a T-shirt on back-to-front, his hair spiked up in all directions. I stared fondly at him, wanting to ask if he was moving in with Krish’s brother but afraid of the answer.
‘I can hardly open my eyes,’ he said and collected Buddy’s lead from the coffee table. ‘Last night we had a nightmare of a Christmas party held by a law firm. One of the partners sat at the bar, on his own, giving me the gossip. They’d been out for a meal and were already loaded by the time they got to Misty’s. We’re talking married co-workers snogging and juniors telling bosses to eff off. It ended with someone throwing a punch.’ He gazed at Buddy. ‘Shall I take his Lordship out for his morning walk and pick up strong coffees and pastries on the way back, instead of us making our usual Sunday brunch? We’ll be eating at Willow Court all afternoon.’
‘Great idea. I’ll take a shower. Is Krish meeting you there?’
‘Yep. I can’t wait for her to meet you.’
Telling myself it was nothing to do with Krish, I made an extra effort with my makeup and put on my best Christmas jumper – not the quirky pixie one with big gold buttons down the front and a matching hat, but the more sophisticated baby-blue one Seb had bought me last year, with a sparkly silver bunch of mistletoe down the front. Oliver wore his festive jumper covered in lines of Christmas trees. It was chunky, masculine and accentuated his sturdy frame. We went out into the chilly air, Buddy tugging at the lead as he headed to smell other dogs’ signatures on a lamp post. We drove listening to Christmas music playing on a popular radio station, rather than talking. I parked up and Nik arrived at the same time and was able to help Oliver inside with the cocktail ingredients. I’d driven him to work yesterday evening and we’d loaded the boxes into the boot before his shift began and I’d brought them back to the flat so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it at the end of a long shift.
Lynn let us in and the others headed over to the hatch in the lounge, taking Buddy with them, whilst I signed us in. Oliver had said something about them beingall men togetherand Nik had shot him a conspiratorial grin. Her face broke into a smile.
‘The last residents are just finishing off their light lunch – a suitably themed chestnut soup. Alice has finished and gone up to her room to change.’ Lynn looked at her watch. ‘The caterers and party organisers with decorations should be here any minute, it’s almost one.’
I pulled off my woolly hat. ‘Okay. I’ll just pop upstairs to see her and then I’ll wait down here for them to arrive. Pro Snow should arrive shortly afterwards. Normally they only keep snow falling for an hour when they are booked for a party, but they’re bringing enough of the fluid they use to cover when people arrive, the hours of daylight and then they’ll switch it on again for when people leave. So I thought they could come in for a hot drink and food around four, half four, before going out again.’
‘People have been so generous.’
‘Yes. TheGazette’s been brilliant and the local community. The plight of the residents really seems to have struck a chord.’ I walked past the lounge. Lynn’s Big Band Christmas CD was playing.
‘It’s not right that you’ve been let in and I’m not allowed out,’ said Betty.
I touched her arm. ‘There’s going to be a party today, Betty,’ I said gently. ‘Lots of people will be allowed in but that’s to help us all celebrate Christmas.’
She stared blankly at me for a few seconds. ‘I need to get home. My Jim needs his dinner and the children need their bath. They’re always so scruffy after a day at school.’ Betty walked towards the entrance door and peered out.
I passed the reception, turned left and walked along the corridor to Gran’s room. I knocked sharply before going in. She was wearing her fancy rose gold striped trainers and…
‘Oh Gran. I haven’t seen you in a dress for so long! It’s really pretty and matches your coral fleece to a tee.’ It was long. Navy with big orange flecks with an embroidered neck – not her usual style at all.
‘I feel like a bloomin’ Christmas bauble in it but Pan does a lot of online shopping and she got really excited about this outfit. As soon as she saw it Pan said it had my name on it.’ Gran sat down in her chair and looked out at the canal. ‘Love Pan as I do, normally I’d have told her to bog off, but… I didn’t have the heart, seeing as we won’t be living together for much longer. I told her I’d remember her every time I wore it. But listen to me, getting morbid. I’m really looking forward to the party. Everyone’s worked so hard for it.’
I sat on the bed next to her. Sunshine broke through the December cloud.
‘I know what you’re going to say – that I’ve been a fool to expect your mother to turn up.’
‘No. And there’s still a small chance, I suppose,’ I said, hating her flat tone.
Gran turned to face me. ‘No. Karen won’t come and to be honest I’ve known that all along. But it’s enough for me that she got in touch. It shows that she cares. She’s obviously still having problems. Maybe one day I’ll meet her again – maybe I won’t.’ She took my hand. ‘Are you disappointed, sweetheart?’
‘No, I’m not. I closed that chapter of my life a long time ago. You and me, Gran. The day to day. That’s family. That’s love. That’s what gets me through. It’s real. Whereas Mum – she’s just become some kind of fantasy figure.’
Those words could equally apply to my situation with Nik and Oliver.
‘She’s never been there for the tough times. Not like you have. You’ve been more of mum to me than she ever was or ever could be. I don’t need anything more. I know it’s different for you, she’s your daughter, you gave birth to her. It must feel as if a part of you is missing. But it’s not the same for me. You’ve filled any mum-shaped hole in my life.’
We sat holding hands for a few minutes.
‘Right, I’d better go and welcome the caterers and help them set up.’
