Page 39 of When We Were Friends
‘I’ve not told anyone this before, either.’ Tiff clenched her hands together. ‘They’re escorts. I pay them. I always use the same high-end agency. The fees are a bit pricey but I’ve never had a bad experience, have always felt safe and Carter and Marlon are both absolute gents. Gorgeous too. Charming. Sexy. This way, I call the shots and I can easily end it if I feelings develop.’ Heat flooded into her cheeks once more. ‘It’s nothing sleazy. They just meet me for dinner or accompany me to events. Sometimes… things go further, but that’s by mutual agreement and money’s never involved if that happens.’
Wow, thought Morgan. How exciting. Glamorous. Heartbreaking.
‘I get it,’ mumbled Emily.
‘You do?’ asked Tiff.
‘Lewis found a way through the defences I put up when everyone else had failed. After the prom, after what happened with my mum… I had no intention of ever trusting a person again. I took a risk with Lewis and it paid off – until it didn’t. But I don’t regret anything, Tiff. Sometimes you have to take a chance. We’ve had happy years together.’
‘You definitely won’t get back together with Lewis?’ asked Paige.
‘He wants a divorce. Things haven’t been right for ages.’
‘What doyouwant?’ said Morgan.
‘That’s a question I haven’t asked myself for so long.’
‘What about your mum?’ asked Tiff. ‘Come on, Emily. No more secrets. Why wasn’t there a funeral?’
‘Tic tac toe,’ said Morgan and she smiled. ‘Hugo’s Olly’s dad. Tiff dates escorts. Paige? Emily?’
Emily looked as if she’d just lost a patient.
‘Shit, I’m only joking,’ said Morgan, and reached across to pat Emily’s hand.
‘Tic tac toe was a strict rule, wasn’t it,’ murmured Paige, voice sounding uncharacteristically shaky, the colour drained out of her face. ‘We never let each other off, because talking about secrets always made things better. But I’m not so sure, now I’m an adult.’
‘What have you got to hide?’ asked Tiff in a teasing voice.
Paige studied the others one by one, as if trying to judge their reaction to something she hadn’t said yet.
‘I still believe sharing secrets makes things better, easier,’ said Morgan. ‘I should have been upfront with Den from the start that I never wanted another child. It would have saved a lot of hurt.’
‘Okay…’ Paige wrapped her arms around herself. ‘I’ve been meaning to tell you all from the moment we met up again. It’s been so hard keeping this to myself, but please, hear me out…’
‘We’re here for you, whatever it is,’ said Emily.
‘You were always there for us,’ said Tiff. ‘Straight-as-a-die Paige. Up until Hugo tapped into our weaknesses, you were the most honest, eye-wateringly sometimes – but that’s why we trusted you.’
‘We should have seen it was simply Hugo who’d fucked up our group,’ said Emily, ‘if he could persuade you, Paige, to get devious, when you were so robust, so dependable. Sorry, Morgan, he may be Olly’s dad, but Hugo was one slimy bastard.’
Paige crossed her legs. ‘Perhaps he’s changed.’
Going by Emily’s face, Paige may as well have told her hospital waiting lists had halved and nurses’ wages doubled.
‘It used to be me who saw the best in everyone, Paige,’ said Emily. ‘But the truth is, some people haven’t got a grain of decency.’ She took Paige’s hands. ‘You can tell us, whatever it is.’
Paige swallowed. ‘Okay. Right. My husband… Felix… you see… he’s really…’ She took Morgan’s water and knocked back a large mouthful. ‘He’s really…’
The others made reassuring noises. Paige drank in the smiles she’d longed to see so many times, over the years.
‘He’s really… supportive. Things have been difficult as I can’t have kids.’ The words tumbled out and she broke eye contact with the others. ‘I… I didn’t like to mention it before in case any of you were having problems too, it could have been triggering. I didn’t mean to hide anything when you were talking about motherhood, Morgan.’ Paige looked at them again and wiped her brow with the napkin. ‘Felix and I… we’ve been trying for eighteen months. I wish we hadn’t left it so late, but we wanted to wait until we’d bought our first place, established our careers.’
‘It can take couples that long,’ said Emily. ‘Have you talked to your doctor?’
‘I can’t face it in case they do tests and confirm my worst fears.’
‘What does Felix say?’ asked Tiff.
