Page 14 of The Promise of Tomorrow
Elena listened intently.
His eyes shone. ‘I want to talk to people I haven’t yet met. I want scorching sunrays or freezing snow on my face.’ His hands became animated. ‘I love Netflix, love a good session on my phone, but I want a life that gives me more as well. I haven’t got the physical powers of a Marvel hero, but I’ve got common sense and a desire to exceed the limits that mostpeople allow to imprison them. Above all else, I’m building memories that are all mine and not down to something I’ve only experienced through watching others, on a screen…’ He gave a sheepish look but she nodded, wanting to say something, but how? Her life had been on the sharpest edge in recent weeks and she’d do anything to change that for banality.
Elena insisted on washing up, carefully putting the knives away, hiding them at the back of the drawer. She made sure the hob was off, checked the bolts on the front door several times, and went around the ground floor to see that all windows were closed. Rory offered to set the burglar alarm and she made sure that the battery of the personal alarm in her room was working. They said goodnight and she followed him up the stairs. Elena cleaned her face and brushed her teeth, listening to Rory singing ‘Ocean Eyes’ through the wall. It felt comforting, until it didn’t, when he eventually stopped and the house went quiet, dark. She lay there for an hour, but sleep wouldn’t come.
The firework. The spilt coffee. The diver.
Her whole body twitched as a loud creak came from downstairs. She sat bolt upright. Elena got out of bed and put on her dressing gown. She paused outside Rory’s room. Elena wouldn’t bother him. The noise was probably nothing. Pulse racing, she crept down the stairs. The creak sounded again, she sensed it was near… But the hallway looked exactly the same as usual. So did the empty kitchen, lounge and dining room. She exhaled.
Of course. They’d had the heating on late. It must have simply been the wood in the house contracting as it cooled back down. Elena went into the lounge and flicked on a table lamp. For several minutes she sat with her head in her hands. She looked up at the curtains, to the left of the glass tank, tightly pulled to keep potentially sinister eyes out. A movement caughther attention in the tank. What if Brandy and Snap wanted to look at the night? She got up and drew the curtains open wide.
She would be safe. She was locked in the house. The door had been bolted.
Elena gazed up at the stars. Tahoor’s light was on, in the bedroom at the front of his house. He stood staring upwards too. The night sky was clear, crisp, and a satellite flew past. He wore Paisley pyjamas and an expression that couldn’t look more opposite to the one he’d worn when celebrating City’s win.
A rustle sounded from the tank. She took the lid off and put in a hand, waited and finally Snap climbed on board. She put the lid back on and sat on the sofa with the insect. Its front legs waved in the air. It moved from side to side. Rory had told Elena this meant it could be scared as it was pretending to be a twig swaying in the breeze.
‘I’m not going to hurt you,’ she whispered. ‘It’s nice to have a couple more females in the house. Do stick insects swim? I went underwater today. But this diver…’ In a shaky voice, she told Snap what had happened at the pool. Eventually, its swaying stopped. ‘You’re amazing, you know that?’ she mumbled. ‘Rory treated me to some more facts about you tonight. Next time you moult, that’s when you’ll regenerate a new leg.’ Elena sighed. ‘I wish I was able to shed my past.’ Gently, she placed Snap back in the tank on an especially green leaf, put the lid back on and then she peered outside again. Tahoor’s light was off now. Another satellite went past. Rory would have ridden it bareback, given the opportunity. The thought of him taking on yet another mad activity didn’t irritate her like it had, before he moved in. She used to wonder if he did extreme sports to impress. However, recently, she’d got the feeling there was a deeper purpose.
For several minutes, she stood as still as Brandy and Snap playing dead.
Rory’s life was all about stepping out of his comfort zone. A determined look crossed her face. Elena’s fingers curled into fists. Before she knew it, she was talking to a deep-seated fear that had tightened its grip on her in recent months.
‘I’m sick of being scared, of you always making me look over my shoulder, risk-assessing my every move.
‘No more!
‘I’m Elena Swan, the ten-year-old girl who gave up her life for another, and who for twenty years hasn’t burdened a single soul with that knowledge; the teen who got beaten up, protecting a friend from bullies; the young woman who reported a senior colleague for inappropriate behaviour. I’m the worker who admitted she’d made a mistake going into HR, and started her career over, pretty much from scratch, in marketing. I’m the train passenger who once intervened when a bunch of lads were shouting racist abuse at an old man and no one else said anything.’ Her breath hitched. ‘It’s the very last months of my twenty-ninth year, when I should be making the most of my life…’ Her jaw tightened.
‘Just like Snap will shed her old skin, Iwillshed my fears. For fuck’s sake, I’m an adult, not a primary school child. Finally, I can see that being terminated isn’t the worst outcome. The worst is already here and it’s me tiptoeing my way through my existence, and to a much greater degree lately, listening to that voice in my head making me question the safety of everything. I’ve never gone abroad, for God’s sake, kidding myself I was happy with that, when I love foreign food, and speaking French for my GCSE gave me such a buzz in my stomach. I’ve kept boyfriends at a distance, afraid of commitment, for their sakes, not that they’d ever guess it. Rory’s shown me howmylife has always felt anaesthetised and suffocated.
‘I can’t worry any more. I can’t keep hiding in the shadow of the person I could and should really be.’
She waited for the sense of doom to wash over her, to drown her in despair.
But instead… Elena raised her eyebrows… A weight lifted. She felt as light as Snap had, on her fingers. It was time to be less like fictional, cautious Elinor, and more like that character’s rash sister, Marianne – less sense and more sensibility.
She stood up. ‘I’d do it over again, you know? In order to save that precious life. It was worth it.’ Elena put her shoulders back and lifted her chin. ‘It really was – even if I never make it to this Christmas.’
Elena strode into the hallway and moved the three bolts across, then went into the kitchen and opened one of the windows. Ignoring the hob, she went up to her room, as wispy and light as a feather that could waft up into the air, carefree as a kite.
In these last few weeks before her thirtieth birthday, Elena Swan would make up for the fun she’d missed her whole life.
9
ELENA
Five thirty. Almost time to head to Mum and Dad’s for dinner, but Elena rang to ask if it was okay if she and Rory turned up a little late. An idea had been growing in Elena all day, a fleeting thought at first that had eventually taken root and rapidly grown. This suited her parents as their golf game had gone on longer than expected. She pictured them in their diamond-patterned jumpers, as colourful as those of that pop group they used to love, Bucks Fizz. A wave of affection swept over her.
Gary came over with his coat on and threatened to press the off button on her computer. ‘I know that look, Swan,’ he said. ‘Which reminds me, what genius plan have you come up with, for our department night out in December, then? A festive-themed silent disco? Another evil Santa Claus grotto escape room like last year? I’m secretly hoping it’s a Christmas bake off. But whatever it is, go home, gal, it’s time to chill.’
‘I’ll fix the date soon but as ever, I’ll be keeping the details top secret until the week before,’ she said, without stopping typing. ‘Mind you, make me a coffee before you go and I might give you a hint.’ She looked up and grinned.
‘Would love to, chica, but I’m off for drinks with Diego at our fave salsa bar. His boss has closed the restaurant tonight. Deep cleaners are coming in before next week’s celebration of it being open five years. There’s even an actor from Corrie going. How about a mint instead?’ He held out a packet and Elena helped herself. Gary headed across the office and disappeared out the door, but not before treating the room to a Latin dance move. She signalled to Rory and he ambled over, already dressed to leave, in his red leather jacket with black trim.
‘I… we… need to see Derek. It’s important,’ she blurted out.
‘Now?’
