Page 24 of The Promise of Tomorrow
A satisfied look crossed her face. ‘You’re in no position to judge, then. I’ll take two sugars, thanks.’
Rory tipped his head to one side and shot her a look, before heading off.
Didn’t everyone act irresponsibly once in a while? That’s what she’d witnessed over the years, not allowing herself that same freedom. Well, sod that! She curled up in bed but a niggle of guilt forced her to sit up. Should she go into work, after all?
No!
Just this once she wanted to break the rules. She deserved that. Her looming birthday was making Elena kinder to herself, in a way she hadn’t been over the years. Instead of being her own jailer, she now wanted to be her own break-out buddy. Derek would manage and she’d work extra hard on her return to make up for her absence.
That phone recording. Those three little words she’d never said to a man… Her face fell. How sad was that? But… She propped herself up on one elbow. Elena still had time to say them, right? Even to a practical stranger. In fact, that would be better, because there’d be no deep emotional connection. No one would get hurt if the worst happened on her birthday. She couldn’t say them to anyone she truly cared about. Elena just wanted to experience the moment. Her spirits lifted as she sat bolt upright, reached for her phone and googled dating apps. There were still three and a half weeks till her birthday – plenty of time to make someone feel really special. A short-term fling would be perfect to achieve her goal. Yet a voice in her head nagged that it being a fling would be no excuse for playing with someone else’s emotions.
But you took your chances with your emotions on a dating app, everyone knew that. And maybe she’d experience love at first sight and say those words for real. Anything was possible.
She’d never online dated before, unlike so many people of her age, but this new Elena would arrange a meet-up for tomorrow night, after her bungee jump. Oh my God! This was so exciting! She started singing ‘Hit Me with Your Best Shot’, one of Dad’s favourites from years ago. It would be like in the movies! LikeRomeo and Juliet, or Mum’s favourite,When Harry met Sally, orBreakfast at Tiffany’swhich Gran always loved. It had to be. Shehadto be part of such a romantic scene, just once, that wasn’t slurred and secretly taped on a phone.
Funny as last night was.
As if she’d drunk nothing but water last night, Elena jumped out of bed and air-guitared, leaping around whilst laughing out loud.
16
RORY
Friday 29th November
Hell, it was 1 strange day at Bingley Biscuits without Elena. Didn’t blame her for taking a day off. Elena’s a super hard worker and deserved it, and she seems so much happier since embarking on this journey of personal discovery. However, Derek, Caz and Gary were most worried knowing how serious her ‘24-hour bug’ must be for her not to go to the office. Derek gave the back of his head 3 hand rubs, always a sign that the guy’s stressed. However, 1 successful meeting with product development took place. 1 step further to reality for the Not-so-Broken Biscuits. Elena asked me about it as soon as I got in, and was thrilled when I told her. She texted Derek to say job well done.
1 big fat lie told by me – ‘Elena’s Boujee burger must have contained salmonella.’
30 minutes in the gym with Gary. Felt more confident. Seems like you can get a buzz from a sport that doesn’t involve catapulting through the air or mounting mountains.
3 people asking me if I was okay, just because I was bit quiet.
3 more lies – ‘Yes, I’m fine.’
1 squeeze of my shoulder from Gary.
1 Mum’s Death Day, you see – see point above. Gary prised it out of me. I hadn’t concealed my grief as well as usual, perhaps because I’d finally told someone – Elena – the truth about where my mother is. The padlock has been removed from the mental box I’ve stored that pain in all this time. Maybe that means… it’s time to stop pretending my mum is still alive. 25 years today since she signed off. Last year I put a photo of her through a filter that made her look older. What a jerk. A sharp longing had overwhelmed me to meet the woman staring back from the screen.
2 phone calls with Dad. 1 first thing, 1 late at night – our yearly tradition. It’s the 1 out of 365 days that his good-humoured voice reflects the hurt. He can’t forget the images from that last year. When I was a teen, I overheard him talking to Granddad once. It had killed them both inside, how brave Mum had been, unafraid of what was to come but angry, devastated, about everything she was going to miss. That was the moment I found out the real reason for her death, and my life was never quite the same after that. Today is the one day of the year he chokes up when he says Mum’s name, Linda, as if it’s a favourite cough sweet that grows harder and jagged as time passes, instead of soothing and dissolving. Yet he’s found Jenny, and she listens to him talk about Mum. She talks to him, too, about her late fiancé who had diabetes and died from complications with Covid. Life is pretty shit sometimes, but finding someone who understands is the best medicine. I’ve seen that.
1 visit to Mum’s grave. I left 1 Snickers bar by the headstone – she preferred its old name, Marathon.
0 piteous looks from Elena when she found out about the anniversary today and where I’d been after work. Instead she held me very tight and for the first time since waking up, I relaxed. Elena always smells the same. Floral, with a pinch of fresh spring mornings and sweet baked croissants. It’s weirdly comforting. She fetched me a cold beer and a bowl of crisps, hugged me again and went upstairs. It was exactly what I needed.
1 magic trick again, from her – I went up to see if she wanted takeaway and couldn’t find her anywhere. 45 minutes later, Elena came down saying she’d fallen asleep, but I’d checked her room and she hadn’t been in there.
1,000 questions (or so it seemed) from Elena about the bungee jump tomorrow – not about safety but about how thrilling the rush must be. Her infectious enthusiasm cheered me up. She ordered the takeout and washed up afterwards, made hot chocolate and put my favourite biscuits out on a plate. Elena said she was there for me, if I wanted to talk about Mum, or we could just watch a movie, my choice. In the end, we sat with Brandy and Snap on our knees, chilling in front of some TV chat show, strategically planning how to nab the last biscuit. Pretty sure she let me win. Spending time with her like that had been… nice. An underrated word – we were told not to use it at school, were told it was a lazy adjective that didn’t really mean anything. But this evening, with Elena, it meant everything.
1 smile on my face, at the end of the day, as Elena sings ‘Ocean Eyes’, through the wall. At first I wasn’t in the mood, but I couldn’t help joining in. When we’d finished, I shoutedthrough, asking if she wanted a goodnight pickle kiss. Wonder if Tahoor heard the 2 emphatic swear words she hollered back in reply?
17
ELENA
‘I’m not calling you Pickle.’
‘But we could have cute housemate nicknames. I’d call you Houdini, given the way you keep disappearing,’ Rory said and turned the steering wheel.
