‘Okay. Now I can rule out number four on my list. That leaves two options – either…’ Her face lit up. ‘It’s a living and breathing Em texting me…’
‘What, despite everything her parents said?’ Meg asked.
Lili coloured up. ‘Yes – because of the unfound phone… the passport… what the psychic said about faces… that emoji…’
Tommo rolled his lips together. Meg simply nodded.
‘Or,’ continued Lili swiftly, and she shrugged, ‘it’s someone else. And boy, that joker better be scared of ever meeting me if that’s the answer. But I’ve just got this feeling…’ Eyes shining, she went to buy crisps.
When she got back, Tommo was fiddling with a beer mat.
‘As you say, spit it out,’ Lili said to him, tearing open one of the crinkly bags.
‘We just hope you aren’t going to be disappointed if it’s not Em,’ he said. ‘The heart wants what the heart wants, but sometimes that means it leads us astray like… like a pod of whales that accidentally beach themselves, convinced they’re swimming in the right direction.’
‘You definitely pressed her name in your contacts list, when you messaged? The texts definitely came from her old number?’ asked Meg.
‘I did check. Of course I did. And remember, you reckoned this is exactly the sort of thing Em would do.’
Meg’s face softened. ‘Yes, but now it’s all sunk in… I don’t think it’s likely. Her parents saw the body. They saw the body, Lili. They’d know. Oh, I so very much want it to be her. But like Tommo, I… I also don’t want to see my brilliant boss get hurt.’
Lili’s eyes pricked. ‘I’ve got to get a definite answer. One way or another.’
Meg and Tommo looked at each other.
‘Then we’re here for you, gal, if you keep looking into this,’ he said. ‘Just… be careful. You don’t know what – or who – you are going to discover.’
7
Early the next morning, Lili stood in the kitchen, yawned and sipped her first coffee of the day. The morning light caught the stained-glass bird suncatcher that hung from the window. She gazed out onto her back garden. Another day of unusually warm autumnal weather was waking up. Their home was small, on the outskirts of an estate near Truro, but picture-postcard pretty, with the garden’s apple trees at the far end, a curved wooden bench, and colourful borders that framed the lawn. Em had teased Lili for installing a bird bath and feeding table, saying she’d become so suburban. However, Lili would often catch her friend sitting out on the patio before work, tossing generously sized crumbs of toast to sparrows.
As the sun rose, so did an uncomfortable feeling in her chest. Were Tommo and Meg right? Was she a fool to chase this dream of having Em back in her life?
It wouldn’t be the first time she’d been foolish. She’d thought Em’s ex, Sean, was decent too. He was a dentist and Em had suffered pain with a tooth for months but couldn’t get registered anywhere for treatment; the waiting lists were far too long. Sean had opened a new practice, close to them in Truro, and had sorted out her months of toothache in a matter of minutes. They started dating. He persuaded her to deregister though, so that he wouldn’t get into trouble, and sent Em gifts. Neither Em, nor Lili, could see that the charm was a distraction from his other woman. And when it ended, oh so badly, not only was Em left broken-hearted, with whiplash, but also the tooth problem came back and the same old issue of not being able to get treatment. Em was taking painkillers for the tooth and for the whiplash. Was it any wonder that drinking on the houseboat risked her falling in? If the body found belonged to Em.
Sean’s lies did untold damage.
However, when under his spell, even Lili began to soften towards the idea of having a long-term relationship of her own, especially after yet another friend from Manchester got married. But then if she partnered up, had kids, built a home out of love and not just bricks, was that risking it tumbling down and hurting a child as much as young Lili had suffered? Despite their own torrid, painful history, Mum and Dad were always asking Lili if she’d met anyone special. Lili didn’t get it, and what happened to Em had made Lili promise herself that she’d give even less thought to the idea of meeting Mr Right. She already had the right job, the right friends, the right health, the right passion, the right house, the right location. That was more than enough.
And the right garden. A smile crossed her lips as a squirrel tightrope-walked the fence like a jittery circus performer. Lili’s parents’ bitter divorce had taught Lili, from a young age, that pinning your future dreams onto another human being was dangerous. Even though Colin and Shirl were happy, Em had always agreed that romance wasn’t the be all and end all. Her feelings for Sean had taken both of them by surprise. Lili’s mum had been okay; she’d kept positive once her marriage was over, but her dad stayed depressed for months. It took him a couple of years to rebuild a life for himself and ever since, he’d lurched from relationship to relationship, making the same mistakes, looking for something he thought was missing, when all the time it was within him. Unlike Tommo, who had his biker friends, his volunteering, a sense of self-worth, self-reliance… She’d only seen him wobble at Christmas, having known him for the last two Decembers. Poor Tommo. She kept his festive secret to herself.
Lili put down her coffee and her face lit up in a way it rarely had these last months. There was the robin who’d been calling by this year, first last winter, then more so over the summer and now, as autumn arrived, every day. She’d named her Bobbin, a real bird for sure. She’d spent many mornings in the summer getting up early and training the bird to come onto her hand. At first Lili would just sit quietly in the garden. She’d thrown food down on the ground, near her chair. Over a few weeks she dropped the food nearer and nearer, until one day she put it in her hand and stretched out her arm. Oh the joy when two little feet landed in her palm, a V-shaped head bobbing up and down! That was one of the ways she’d decided Bobbin was female – the males’ heads were more U-shaped apparently. Also she’d seen Bobbin standing next to another robin that was slightly bigger with brighter colours – no doubt a male.
She went outside, onto the patio, and shivered. She stretched out her arm with a handful of seed mix.
‘Hello, Bobbin,’ she murmured as the bird landed on her hand and pecked away, every now and then stopping to look at her. ‘You get it, don’t you?’ she said. ‘Why I’m investigating Em’s death?’
Lili didn’t know why but the bird had offered enormous comfort during the last year. She’d told Bobbin about her texts to Em and often sent them whilst in the garden. Bobbin was wild – it didn’t have to stay put, but often after eating its fill, the bird would hang around. Sometimes Lili put down a dustbin lid of water and Bobbin would bathe. This year she would buy Christmas cards with robins on.
‘Or do you agree with Tommo and Meg that it might be better to leave it be and pretend no one ever replied to my Knock Knock text?’ she asked.
The robin stopped eating, looked Lili dead in the eye and then did the strangest thing: shook its little head. She couldn’t get that image out of her head as she drove to work, as she restocked shelves, supervised staff, tried to eat lunch.
Finally, the day done, she stood outside the shop, under the twilight sky so clear near the coast. Bobbin was right. Lili wasn’t being a fool. She’d get home and ring Em, pronto! Except Glenda, who’d left the shop about ten minutes ago, was still hanging around outside, tightening her scarf, pulling on gloves. Then she took out her brolly as rain began to spit down. Lili always knew how Glenda’s life was going by her choice of story. On good days, she picked out Jackie Collins bonkbusters, or a Jilly Cooper countryside romp. Feisty, funny, the characters and plots in those books reflected her mood. Yet when life was proving more of a struggle than usual, she’d avoid contemporary scenarios and lose herself in the past. Today’s choice had been a Regency-era story. Lili pulled a tube of Munchies out of her coat pocket and offered one to Glenda.
‘Don’t mind if I do,’ she said and shivered, taking one. The weather was cooler now and more like the norm for October. It had even rained at the weekend. ‘I’m already looking forward to visiting the library on Monday and am beginning to dread Sundays when it’s closed.’
‘Hold on,’ said Lili, and she popped back into the shop. She returned with a long, full-body hot water bottle in a sealed bag. ‘Have this. Company policy – we don’t accept hot water bottles. Even if, like this one, they’re brand new. Rules are rules.’