Page 16 of Will You Stay Another Day?
‘I…’ She gulped and couldn’t continue. ‘Sorry. I just need a moment.’
His face flushed. ‘Don’t you apologise. This mess is down to me. I feel like a complete shit.’
Lili raced to the toilets. She stood in a cubicle for what seemed like an age, locked the door and bit on her fist. A tear rolled down her cheek. She punched the door. Did it again.
‘You okay in there?’ asked a voice.
Lili tore off a piece of toilet roll, wiped her eyes, flushed the chain and left the cubicle, apologising to the queue waiting for being so long. She returned to her seat.
‘Sorry about that,’ she said.
‘Honestly, don’t worry.’
‘I texted because it was the first anniversary of her death. How come you’ve got her phone?’
He looked puzzled and handed his over.
‘Oh. Yours is a different model to Em’s.’
‘I’ve got two phones. I decided to get this one for personal use and to use my other one for business only. That way I’m not bothered by work stuff out of hours. I emailed my new number to everyone, including Harry.’
‘Who’s your provider?’ she asked. Why didn’t Lili listen to Tommo and Meg? It was all falling into place. His provider was the same as Em’s. ‘Right. They must reuse old numbers once contracts aren’t renewed. I was told they didn’t.’ She curled her fists in her lap.
‘They only take it out of service for the first six months after someone dies… I read that in the contract when I signed.’
‘Oh. Right. Six months? Most of this year I’ve been texting her, talking about my problems, how I miss her… Did you read some of those texts as well? They were private! You should have messaged back before.’
‘Lili… slow down… remember, I thought your messages were from Harry. I wouldn’t have believed that if I’d been getting loads of texts all this time. That wasn’t his way. His jokes were always spontaneous. And I only got this phone a few weeks ago.’
‘No, of course, sorry, I’m not thinking straight.’
She couldn’t look him in the eye. She’d texted Em about a date she’d made herself go on, just to get out, about a doctor’s appointment, about personal memories they shared.
Dylan clicked into the message from Lili and passed the phone to her.
‘Scroll back. Put your mind at rest.’
‘No… I believe you.’
He held his palms in the air. ‘I insist.’
Her finger flicked up the screen. He was right. Dylan also showed her the receipt for when he bought the phone. He wasn’t lying.
Those messages to Em had gone nowhere, into the ether, into the ashes of a phone that had probably melted in the fire. Suddenly the buoyant happiness, the excited bustle of the pub weighed her down. Ridiculously unhealthy snacks would help but she couldn’t face going up to her room alone.
‘I… I booked a room, for me and Em. Pointless now. We used to love Halloween.’
Lili would never normally go into a private space with a man she hardly knew, but tonight wasn’t a normal evening. And she’d got to know Dylan. A bit. He wasn’t a liar, at least – and after what happened to Em, with Sean, that was the most important thing.
‘Fancy some caramel apple Martini and all-you-can-eat in Halloween-themed crisps and sweet treats?’
10
The room was basic with a small desk and chair and beige throw over the double bed. However, in the bathroom there was an array of free toiletries, including a mini shampoo, scented soap and a packet of condoms. Lili had brought paper cups and poured out two martinis. She passed Dylan a bag of Monster Munch crisps and offered him gummy vampire fangs.
‘Classy,’ he said and took a handful. She smiled back and they leant against the headboard as they sat on the bed, their legs outstretched in front of them on top of the duvet. ‘You and Em spent every Halloween like this?’
‘For as long as I can remember. We were at school together, travelled the world, then moved down from Manchester to Cornwall eventually.’ Their life together summed up in one sentence. How was that even possible? She told Dylan about the countries they’d visited and some of the stories about the beautiful sights and friendly couch-surfing hosts. Also the time they accidentally ate dog in Vietnam and ran out of the restaurant without paying. And once they got stranded on a mountain in India, having gone hiking too near nightfall. Years later, the two of them used to look back, never sure whether to laugh or recoil in horror at their high jinks.
