Page 24 of Will You Stay Another Day?
Lili forced herself to focus.
‘And it’s occurred to me that you’d be a great outlet to team up with. It would make my life a lot easier too, having a direct contact like that. How about I bring some bags over?’
‘Right… of course… I mean… will Ware & Care be charged?’
‘No way! You’re helping me out. Does any day suit, to drop them off?’
‘If we’re closed, there’s a large bin out the back where people can leave donations. You just push the bags through a large swing lid,’ she stuttered, still digesting his motive for inviting her out. ‘You get to it via the street behind the shop. Great, sounds really great,’ she said. Lili stood up. He’d done nothing wrong. Lili was the idiot. ‘Sorry, Dylan… you may have a reaction to the moon, I think I have one to the wind. I’m freezing and am going to head off.’
He stood up, eyebrows furrowed together. ‘Oh… right… unless… why don’t we go to a pub and?—’
‘No. Honestly. I think I need an early night. No… don’t you hurry, enjoy the moment.’ Lili yanked off the hat and dropped it in his lap, before half-running back to Colonel Mustard.
As she drove home, she thought about the Cluedo board game that had given Em the idea for her car’s name. The two of them had driven to a board game café once and not spoken on the way home. Lili managed a smile. They took it in turns being the sorest loser. Lili had missed all the clues tonight. The chaste kiss on the cheek for starters.
No matter. Life was fine, life was good, she didn’t need anyone else.
However, a niggly voice in her head, sounding like ocean waves, whispered that maybe Em’s death had to mean something; maybe life shouldn’t just continue as it always had done.
Lili had come close to getting hurt with Dylan. Em had got hurt by Sean, Mum and Dad had got hurt by each other… Lessons learnt. Lili should have known better. Thank goodness Dylan only saw her as a business associate.
That voice again whispered in her ear, said what a crock of shit, that being with Dylan could have been amazingly different.
Lili pulled up into the drive and entered the cottage, cleaned her teeth and was unable to stop herself going into Em’s bedroom. Colin and Shirl had stripped it bare, as if the possessions were the only memories they had left, apart from the Caravan Place poster on the wall, an electro swing band that always got Em dancing. Lili sat on the bed and bounced up and down, like they had when they’d first moved in, unable to believe their new home effectively doubled as a sunny, scenic holiday rental. This last year Lili had considered using the room as a crafting space. She and Em had bought secondhand furniture for the cottage and Lili had taken a course to learn how to restore it. She found it cathartic to strip wood and sand, to paint, stain or varnish, to hunt out interesting textiles. The shed at the bottom of the garden was big enough to work in and a little oasis during the warmer summer months. What went into it battered and inconspicuous came out transformed into an item of beauty, as if the shed secretly contained a hidden source of alchemy. Yes, the shed suited that best. And this room wasn’t empty in any case; memories of Em filled it.
Lili closed the door behind her, crawled into her own bed and, she didn’t know why, sobbed under the duvet in a way she hadn’t since the week her friend died.
Finally she fell into a fitful sleep…
Lili and Em are in Colonel Mustard, singing loudly to Human League’s ‘Don’t You Want Me Baby’, eating their favourite chocolate, Rolos. Lili passes one to Em every time they take a breath from singing. The sun shines. The traffic isn’t bad for a Sunday morning. They play ‘cheese on wheels’ and shout every time a yellow car passes by. On the back seat is a big bag containing their towels. They’ve also packed a picnic for the beach and are going to brave the water, even though the sea still felt cold in June.
They wave at passersby who suddenly look familiar… Em’s parents, Glenda from the charity shop, that hot Crystoffees customer Em told Lili about, who had a Mohican and pierced eyebrow. Em parks up. Lili gets out a tissue and wipes chocolate off Em’s chin, even though her friend protests like a toddler.
‘How do I look after last night?’ asks Em and wipes her chin with the back of her hand.
‘Going to bed after dancing until the dawn chorus has taken no effect,’ replies Lili. ‘You look as bright as those birds sounded.’
Em grins. ‘Liar. Right, beat you into the sea!’
‘But we need to pay for parking and?—’
Em tosses the car keys to Lili, climbs out, gets their bags from the back and runs off. She calls over her shoulder that she’ll split the parking cost later and will lay out their towels and test the water. Smiling, Lili shakes her head, gets the parking ticket and puts on her sunglasses. She heads onto the sand and finds the spot where Em left their towels.
But where is her friend?
Lili squints through the bright sunlight at the sea, turning her head from left to right. Nothing… not a single swimmer. Other people are walking, playing beach games or sunbathing. But then… yes, a head bobs up and down, out in the ocean, someone with green hair. Em! But… Lili’s eyes narrow. Em’s arms are flailing in the air. Lili kicks off her sandals and runs as fast as she can towards the waves, over the sand and dried seaweed.
‘Lili, Lili!’ Frantically, Em waves. ‘Help me!’ She disappears under the surface.
In the cold water, as she strides against the tide, Lili shouts at others to find a lifeguard, but it’s as if no one can hear.
No! This isn’t happening.
Em’s head appears once again. Lili is closer but can’t quite reach her. ‘Em! Em! I’m here! I’ll get help!’
Wordlessly, Em gazes at her friend, and then just like that, she’s gone.
With a start, sweating and shaking, Lili wakes up.
