Page 40 of Will You Stay Another Day?
‘Did it help?’
‘Yes! They all fit into just one shoebox now. The problem is, the longer we hold on to things, the more emotionally we invest in them, even if it makes no sense. Like… like a coupon I got a couple of months ago for ten pounds off a food shop if I spend forty. I haven’t used it. Never will. I don’t visit that supermarket. But I’ve held on to it for two months and because of that it feels wrong to let go of it now.’
‘That’s exactly how I feel,’ said Callum, and he sank into deep thought for a moment. ‘Thanks, Lili for… not judging.’
She smiled. ‘Always here to chat. I have a… friend who works in house clearance. He’s about decluttering, large scale, all in one go. And sometimes that’s what’s necessary, but for others, a clear-out might be best done in stages. I’ve learnt that from the many donations I’ve sifted through over the years.’
Lili put her crockery on the table. ‘Right, better be off. See you soon, I hope. Bye, Jack! Thanks for the biscuit.’ She could have talked about the freedom ceremonies to Callum, but putting pressure on someone to act might backfire. The tabby cat in Callum’s front garden had been very friendly. Normally cats preferred strangers who ignored them. Approaching cats that don’t know you made them feel under threat, you had to let them come to you – just like the people who needed to take part in Lili’s Sunday afternoons. They had to make the first move, had to find their own way to letting go.
Lili headed to bed after dinner and snuggled under the duvet. She let out a sigh, glad to be safe and warm and cocooned from the challenges in life like traffic hold-ups, angry customers, and leaking pipes – the stuff she’d have normally talked through with Em; the bad stuff that couldn’t possibly affect her again, now, until she got up tomorrow. Relaxed and toasty, she closed her eyes and eventually fell asleep…
Em points to the top of the tree and grins. It is their Christmas sloth. They put it up every year. It wears a Santa hat and hugs a branch. They decided it was their festive spirit animal, as Christmas was a time to veg out. It is the Saturday before Christmas week, when they always cook a festive dinner together and celebrate, as they are never actually together on the twenty-fifth. Yawning, they head into the kitchen for a late breakfast of pancakes with all the trimmings. A traditional turkey roast will be enjoyed late afternoon.
Em wipes away a smudge of maple syrup from her mouth and slides over a long, narrow, wrapped box. ‘Happy Christmas, Lili!’
With gusto, Lili opens it. ‘Oh, Em…’ She lifts up the stained-glass bird suncatcher. ‘It’s so very beautiful. I can’t wait to hang it up.’
Lili hands Em a square gift, tied with a big red and green bow. Em tears open the wrapping.
‘You star!’ says Em, and she jumps up to fit on the vintage Mexican Day of the Dead jacket. ‘I utterly love this. Thank you, thank you.’
Lili gets up too and they embrace. Then Em grabs a strawberry, before heading upstairs to run a bath – a day-off treat. She takes her time. Lili clears up the breakfast dishes and prepares the vegetables for later. The bath water stopped running ages ago. Lili wipes her hands on a tea towel and goes up to the bathroom. She knocks.
‘Em? Everything all right? Talk about stringing out this soak to avoid peeling carrots.’
No reply.
Lili’s chest tightens as she knocks again before opening the door.
‘Em! Em!’ She’s under the water, hair swirling around her head like Medusa’s. Lili heaves her into a sitting position and shakes her friend. ‘Wake up! Wake up, Em!’
Lili rings 999. Follows the call handler’s instructions. It makes no difference. Em doesn’t move, doesn’t speak.
Then out of the blue, Em opens her eyes. She looks at Lili with the saddest expression before the light in them dies.
Heart pounding, Lili wakes up.
26
After work, Lili jumped into Colonel Mustard and drove straight to Tavistock. Last night’s terrible dream about Em had left her with a feeling of an unwelcome embrace that tightened throughout the day. Seeing Em in the bath had felt so very real. She’d looked so young, years and years of life stolen from her. Rain pelted down onto the road and took her back to one time when she and Em had been going to the cinema. The sun didn’t constantly shine in Cornwall and it had been wetter than Manchester which, despite the rumours, wasn’t the rainiest place in the country. A car in front of them had skidded as it stopped at speed, in a huge puddle. Em had slammed on her brakes and narrowly avoided going into the back of it. Shaken, the two of them had turned around. A large lorry had tailgated the Mini for their whole journey and only just steered clear of them as it, too, ground to a halt. They’d skipped the cinema and instead gone for comfort food at Nando’s.
‘What do you think heaven is like?’ Em had asked after a large mouthful of peri-peri chicken.
‘Goes without saying that everyone looks like Glen Powell,’ Lili had said.
‘Idiot.’ Em nicked one of her friend’s french fries. ‘As long as I can see your face, I don’t care what the other spirits look like…’ She grinned. ‘So we have to promise to go together.’
Lili and Em. Together forever. That was also what they’d promised years before, in the playground.
Well, they weren’t together now but that didn’t mean they couldn’t still have fun, or rather Lili could on her friend’s behalf to make up, in some way, for everything Em was missing. The nightmare decided it. The Mini gathered speed and the satnav guided her to Dylan’s house. Out of breath, she parked up, slammed the driver’s door shut and ran up to his front door. She knocked. Her fingers flexed; she was keen to announce her decision before she could take it back. Lili knocked again, her hair getting drenched. Fallen leaves glistened with rain and beads of water hung from nearby bushes, like posh drop earrings worn on nights out.
‘Lili!’ Dylan’s face lit up. ‘This is a lovely surprise! But the weather… Come on in.’
‘I’m coming to Vegas! I owe it to Em!’ she blurted out, not budging an inch. ‘So I’ll see you there on the thirteenth of December!’
‘Wait… really? That’s brilliant.’ He clapped his hands. ‘We’ll have to plan our itinerary! We’ve only got two weeks! Come on, get inside, you need to dry off. I’ve just pulled a fruit pie out of the freezer.’
She shivered now, the evening chill catching up with her. Rain trickled down her face, and down her shirt, as she hadn’t taken the time to do up her coat. ‘I didn’t plan to visit you today. I had a dream last night, you see.’ Her teeth chattered. ‘Em would want this. Vegas. If she can’t go, I have to, for both of us, and…’
