Page 42 of Will You Stay Another Day?
They said goodbye and he shut the front door behind her. Lili bent down and picked up a yellow hazel leaf that had blown across from his neighbour’s garden. Carefully, she pushed it through Dylan’s letterbox and caught a glimpse of him through the gap, walking back into the kitchen, rubbing his head.
27
After getting back from Dylan’s, Lili went for a run. How Em would have howled with laughter, but she was desperate to get rid of the inner tension that had built inside. Her cheeks turned bright red, her chest heaved and she bent over, gasping, when she got back to the cottage. Out of breath, she ran a hot bath. She soaked in it, trying not to think about her nightmare, before ordering pizza. Exercise. Hot bath. Carbs. She should have slept soundly but tossed and turned, fleeting dreams taking her to the Mushroom Kingdom.
In the middle of the night she sat up in the dark and hugged her knees, trying hard not to look at Dylan’s jumper hanging on the outside of her wardrobe. She flopped backwards and lay down again, covering her face with a pillow whilst she groaned. Eventually, she pulled it away and, through a crack in the curtains, stared at the half-moon. That was what Dad used to call a croissant, a full-moon breakfast being a circular pain au raisin. Mum would shake her head in an affectionate manner, back in the days when she and Dad got on. Lili’s parents hadn’t wanted to involve her in the divorce, or encourage her to take sides, but it had been hard not to hear their arguments. Turned out Mum had never been in love with him. She’d got pregnant with Lili and decided staying with the baby’s father would be best. He’d loved her passionately, so she’d pretended. And so had Dad – he’d known right from the beginning that she didn’t feel the same, but he’d told himself she’d change.
‘I adored the bones of you, so it never mattered!’ Lili had once heard him shout.
But it did matter because over time, the arguments and resentments kicked in, on both sides. Her parents had lied to each other about what they truly wanted; they’d both lied to themselves about what they could make do with.
The only conclusion a young Lili could make was that commitment was scary unless you met someone who valued honesty as much as you did. One-night stands, casual relationships – they were so much easier due to zero expectations. A person could have goals different to getting married, and life could still be fulfilling – you only had to look at icons like Jane Austen, Coco Chanel and Diane Keaton.
Sean had never intended to be with Em in the long-term and his lies had done untold damage in the way a casual relationship wouldn’t have.
Mike, a plumber, who Lili had had a few dates with several months ago, wasn’t honest with himself, or Lili. From the start Lili had told him she didn’t want anything serious and he’d said that arrangement was fine. However it soon became obvious that he was hoping date after date would change her mind. Other dates too, over the years, hadn’t been completely transparent, bigging up their jobs or lying about their age.
But then Lili had met Dylan and, straight away, he’d been transparent, right from that first hour when the man in the Dracula cape insisted she scroll through his messages, proving he hadn’t been reading the texts she’d sent Em. He’d laughed at himself over his middle name. He’d been so considerate that night they’d slept together, making sure anything that happened between them was what Em wanted.
And now it was time for Lili to come clean.
Confession time.
‘I can’t deny it any longer… I’ve fallen for Dylan Davis, hook, line and bloody sinker, deeper and deeper like an anchor that never hits the sea bottom. I don’t want us to be nothing but friends. I want all of him,’ she declared to the half-moon. In the pit of her stomach, a ball of excitement span like a roulette wheel at the prospect of them going on holiday together. Maybe he’d see her in a different light away from Cornwall, away from the charity shop, his house clearance business, away from the one-night stand and their agreement to just be mates.
And maybe, for the very first time in her life, Lydia Taylor felt ready to commit to a relationship.
28
Lili yawned as she drove along the A-road, still not used to Cornwall having no motorways. She’d gone to bed late last night, after a video call with Dylan about their Vegas trip.
‘I had a poker game here on Wednesday night,’ he’d said, ‘and invited some of the lads from work and a neighbour. Got in drinks and snacks. I played Rat Pack music in the background. Really saw myself as some sort of hotshot player.’ He’d given a hangdog expression. ‘I lost every round and ended up having to bet with Doritos.’
God, he’d made her laugh.
‘You need a strong coffee to wake you up, Lili,’ said Meg, now. She sat in the passenger seat wearing a classic, bottle-green swing coat and vintage knitted beanie. She’d looked through the old mixtapes and put on a Christmas one. ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ was currently playing.
‘On last night’s video call, Dylan and I got sidelined by looking at festive menus on the Strip. Imagine turkey tostadas with cranberry relish, or beef with a bourbon maple syrup, or cinnamon-spiced apple strudel, or chocolate Yule log with peppermint ice cream.’
‘Sounds amazing! And talking of food…’ Meg pulled a tube of butterscotch sweets out of her pocket and offered one to Lili, unwrapping it after Lili nodded. It was the sort of thing Em would have done.
‘Thanks again for asking me along on your shopping trip today,’ said Meg. ‘Tavistock is a brilliant place for shopping, but the train takes forever from Mevagissey. It was so much easier just getting one to yours.’
‘How long has your friend lived there?’
‘Six years now. Beth moved when her mum got a new job. You sure you’re okay with me heading off to see her at five? You and I could grab an early evening cocktail first.’
‘No. I actually have plans of my own,’ Lili said airily.
‘The fishing boat master?’
‘Seeing as I’m over his way, he said to call in. He’s doing a winter barbecue. If I’m not in work on Monday, you’ll know I’ve caught pneumonia. Then he wants us to watch the movie Casino, to get us in the mood, seeing as it’s only one week till our trip.’
‘I’m watching a Twilight marathon with Beth.’
‘We’ll both deserve a rest after battling the Christmas crowds. I’m also hoping to tick off everything on my shopping list for Manchester – although Dad just wants a pack of cards from Vegas and Mum a casino-themed fridge magnet. I reckon I’ll get Dylan something small from Tavistock. Maybe a bottle of Limoncello if I can find it. He misses Italy and makes the most amazing ham and cheese toasties – using Italian cheese. Now, what was it called…?’
Meg stared at her.
