Page 47 of Will You Stay Another Day?
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‘Next time, jam first, Dad,’ Lili said. They sat at the kitchen table. ‘You’re in Cornwall, not Devon. Did you know that the cream tea originated in Tavistock? In 997 ad the Benedictine abbey there was damaged by the Vikings. The monks gave the workers, who were repairing it, slices of bread with clotted cream and jam. So the tradition started in Devon, and?—’
‘Enough of the diversion tactics. What’s going on, chick? What’s happened?’ He swatted crumbs away from his woolly green jumper, as if they were flies and not bits of scrumptious dough. ‘I love scones, love cream even more, but I haven’t travelled four hundred bloody miles to talk about them.’ He smiled. ‘Not complaining about eating them though.’
Silence fell.
‘Look… I’m fine, Dad. Honestly. I was simply… pleased to see you. And I’m home in just over two weeks for Christmas. But thanks for the Quality Street chocolates. December wouldn’t be the same without them. The flowers are so pretty too, with that gold-sprayed holly added in.’ Lili got up and pulled down the window blind. ‘How long did the journey take? I wished you’d spoken to me first, I could have put your mind at ease.’ Feeling tearful once more, she sat down again.
‘Seven hours – but I’d travel seventy, if it meant checking you were okay. And your mum agreed.’
Lili’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline. ‘You bothered telling her you were coming?’
‘No. I rang up to discuss it.’
‘But you two… you keep contact to a minimum.’
‘She wanted to come too but had a shift at work. She said, “Go down straight away, Johnny, and keep me posted. Give Lili my love and tell her I’ll ring her this week.”’
Johnny? Since the divorce, for Mum, it had been strictly ‘John’.
John wiped his mouth, scrunched up the paper napkin and clenched his fist. ‘Em’s death… it really affected us too. Maybe you didn’t know that, but it did. We’d watched that girl grow up, growing ever cheekier by the year.’ He gave an affectionate but sad smile. ‘Em drowning made us realise what was important – that life was too short to be unkind, to hold on to grudges. God knows we’ve both said a million hurtful things to each other over the years. But we’re trying to stop.’
An uncomfortable sensation spiked in Lili’s chest. She’d never considered how difficult Em’s death must have been for her parents. ‘Guess I would have noticed the change in you and Mum if I’d visited more this year.’ Her cheeks reddened. ‘Sorry about that. I… I haven’t felt like seeing many people. But that’s changing now, so you’ve no need to worry.’
He dropped the napkin and placed his hand over hers. ‘No, I’m sorry. So is your mum. We should have both come down this year and supported you more. I’ve only visited a few times since you and Em moved in.’ He picked up the napkin again. ‘I’ve been thinking a lot lately. The divorce wasn’t only about me and your mum. And I… I wasn’t there for you properly. I was so self-absorbed, could only see what had happened to me. I should have put you first.’
‘Dad, it’s okay, I?—’
‘That’s the main reason I charged down today. I’m here for you now, love. Always will be. Why are you so upset? I’m here to listen. Here to help if you need it.’
She opened her mouth.
‘No more of that “there’s nothing wrong” nonsense. I may be a bit grey around the edges, but I’m not doolally.’
‘You always did know when I was keeping something from you. Like the time I got a detention and pretended I’d joined the school choir.’
‘Yes, no offence, love, but your singing voice has always sounded like the train brakes squealing at Deansgate station.’
Lili put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. ‘I… met someone I liked. Really liked.’
‘Oh. A guy?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Yes, Dad, I haven’t been keeping my sexuality from you.’
‘It’s just… you haven’t really ever been… serious about anyone before.’
He asked it as a question. Lili replied with a nod.
‘Your mum and I wondered but never liked to ask. I came across a term on the internet – aromantic – and I get it if?—’
‘Oh my God, Dad! Stop being so embarrassing! I’m straight, okay? And I have had brief romantic relationships, but I prefer to keep things fun and casual and?—’
‘Whoa! Who’s being embarrassing now?’
They looked at each other and laughed.
‘I don’t get involved because… I don’t want to get hurt. Not like, well… People in long-term relationships often suffer badly when there’s a break-up.’ She broke eye contact.
