Page 52 of Will You Stay Another Day?
‘I hope so.’
‘Is it your parents who want Harry’s bedroom left like that – to remember him by?’ Lili asked.
He ran a finger around the top of his mug. ‘No. They told me to empty it but… I can’t. It says everything that was important about my brother – his love of music and reading, his clothes that were far trendier than mine. And family meant so much to him. One of his drawers is full of physical photo albums he’s made over the years, whereas the rest of us just leave snaps on our phones, promising ourselves that one day we’ll do something with them.’ He put a hand to his chest. ‘At the same time, it hurts like hell going into that room, and I wish it was bare. It brings back memories and reminds me that’s all I have now. But I can’t bring myself to strip it. And then your texts arrived and just for a moment, I wondered what it would be like if Harry was still travelling. God, it felt good to think that, so I pretended to myself it was true, even getting myself a Dracula costume for the evening. And the world seemed a better place again. I shouldn’t have carried on the pretence.’
Lili paused, then reached across the table and took his hand.
‘I am sorry,’ he said.
‘I know. It’s okay. I… I get it. You’re right. I think I knew Em wasn’t texting me but, God, the unadulterated joy at dreaming I was wrong, it became addictive, as if I’d found a drug that would finally lift my spirits and make me feel whole again…’
He squeezed her fingers.
‘It should have been me,’ Dylan croaked. ‘I’m the eldest. It’s against all laws of nature that my kid brother died first.’
‘Em was older than me. Never let me forget it. More mature, she pompously reckoned, a glint in her eye. I was looking forward to the day when grey hairs appeared and me being younger was finally an advantage.’ She smiled. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here,’ she said and took her hand away. ‘We’ve got the Grand Canyon tomorrow, the burlesque show Wednesday and then home Thursday. That leaves minimal time to do any Christmas shopping or gambling.’
‘I’d say we’ve both gambled enough the last couple of months, wishing for things that are unlikely to happen.’
That didn’t stop them calling into the Paris Las Vegas Hotel to try the slot machines though – once they’d stopped staring in awe at the décor, beautifully representing a Parisian avenue. Each slot machine – there were almost two thousand – had a comfy chair in front of it. Before they knew it, they’d spent two hours spinning wheels.
Lili walked outside and squinted in the winter sun. A group of carollers sang nearby. ‘So we doubled our money. Then lost it. Racked up a debt. Then got into profit again and just broke even. Nerve-wracking times.’
‘I know. Almost losing twenty quid, just imagine…’ He let out a long whistle, and she pushed him playfully.
‘Could we be any more boring?’ Lili complained. ‘I can’t believe that guy in the next row won twenty thousand dollars.’
‘Harry would have loved that place! The risk-taking, the noise, the colours, the music. He was always seeking the next thrill.’
‘Em would have called everyone a bunch of losers, but then given a sheepish grin and settled down at a machine for the whole afternoon.’
They sat down at an outside table of a coffee house, on a patio surrounded by green bushes twinkling with fairy lights, even though it was still daytime. It opened out onto the Strip so that customers could watch the Vegas brouhaha pass by. In an attempt to be less boring, they both ordered a Winter Wonderland Blue Sapphire Latte that actually had crushed gems in! And a hot sandwich that sounded as if it belonged in a posh Subway shop, with beef, Swiss cheese, cheddar, lettuce and mustard along with a seasoned tomato sauce.
‘When Harry and a mate of his were both fourteen, they got into parkour,’ said Dylan as they waited for their food. Dylan had been studying the skyline opposite.
Her eyebrows knotted together.
‘It’s where people jump from building to building, navigating objects instead of walking around them.’
‘I’ve seen videos of that – looks scary.’
‘Not a lot scared Harry. He tried jumping from a garage roof to a garden wall, missed and broke his ankle. Mum and Dad couldn’t believe he’d be so stupid. I could and told him as much. Although I secretly admired him for it. He rang me first. I helped him plan how to tell our parents. Not that it helped; he still got grounded.’
‘I admired Em too. She was more fearless than me in so many ways. Wild, carefree – although deadly serious about selling crystals. But I think that’s why our relationship worked. Any differences complemented each other. She told me once that I was her mooring post, always there, loyal, reliable, and much needed in what can be a turbulent world. It sounded funny but she didn’t laugh, and the comment meant a lot to me. Perhaps that’s how it was with you and Harry.’
Dylan’s face brightened.
Their food arrived and they ate in silence.
‘This sandwich is amazing,’ he said and smiled away his tired eyes, his haunted face. ‘What would you do with twenty thousand dollars?’ he asked.
An answer came into her head straight away. Instinctively, she gave a little shake of her head.
‘What?’ he asked.
Lili wiped her mouth. ‘I don’t ever think about having loads of money, so I’ve not asked myself that question before. Weirdly, the first thing that came to mind was to sell Em’s car and get a newer, more modern, comfortable one with aircon and satnav, with heated seats and a bigger engine.’
Dylan drank from a glass of water. ‘It must hold a lot of memories.’
