Page 54 of Will You Stay Another Day?
However, it was the next stop, Guano Point, that really took their breath away, 0.8 miles, to be exact, above the canyon floor. The ridges and layers of rock went on forever, carved out over millions of years by the Colorado River. But then the canyon was recognised as one of the seven wonders of the natural world.
‘Talk about a panoramic view,’ said Lili as they stood near the edge of one viewing point, struck by how few railings there were around. Her eyes scoured the ridges of black, brown and red rock, rising up from the canyon’s gorge, with the occasional patch of green plants. Their guide pointed out the muddy river way down below. The canyon’s vastness overwhelmed her, but in such a different way to the Strip, which was bustling and noisy. The majestic canyon, solid, timeless, could withstand any act of nature, unlike the trail of glitzy hotels that looked transitory in comparison. Lili tilted her head to the sky, as blue as ever, and then walked off on her own, joining the beginning of a trail, whilst Dylan took photos and spoke to another passenger.
Eventually, Lili found a quieter spot, higher up, following the instructions of signs to keep five feet away from the edge. She stood for several minutes, breathless, not because of the exertion, but because of the surrounding magnificence. The chat of tourists faded into the background, and she watched a bird of prey soar overhead before swooping down into the valley. Lili had read a leaflet on the coach and it said that the Hopi Tribe believed that the Grand Canyon was the gateway to the afterlife. For some reason, away from their cottage, away from Crystoffees and Colonel Mustard, Lili felt closer to Em here than she had since she died.
Standing here, in the face of such staggering beauty and simplicity, and a sense of being shown what really mattered, inside Lili an unfamiliar sense of peace grew at the thought that Em was now at one with nature.
A sense of… release.
‘I love you, Em,’ she whispered. ‘Always will. But… I’ve got to move on. That doesn’t mean I’ll ever – ever – forget you, but I’m ready to commit to another person. If I lose them too, it’s a risk I have to take. The prospect of opening up to Dylan about how much I like him, about becoming invested in his life, about sharing hopes, dreams, worries, makes me feel like I did stepping onto that glass-bottomed Skywalk, waiting for the ground to give way and me to fall, fall, fall. But I can’t let that fear control my life. Even if I were to fall, like I did after losing you, Dad’s right – you being such a big part of my life was still totally worth it. Thank you, Myrtle Turtle, for the gift of your friendship.’
Tears ran down her cheeks. Dylan came over and started talking but stopped when he saw her face. She looked at him. ‘Em,’ she choked. ‘I wish she could have stayed in my life for just another day. I’d have told her how much I loved her; how much I was going to miss her. That…’ Her voice faltered. ‘I was sorry I didn’t insist on joining her at that party. And I’d have made sure Em knew how special she was. She lit up people’s lives without even realising it, always ready with her affectionate banter.’
‘Oh, Lili…’ Dylan’s eyes filled. ‘I understand. I’d do anything to have another day with Harry. I’d have told him he did the right thing by extending his trip. That life is for living and for him that meant travelling. I’d have made sure he knew how much his big brother admired and respected him, even though he hadn’t shown it, not at the end.’
Lili looked out, across the canyon. ‘Do you think they know?’ she croaked. ‘Do you think they are here with us?’
Dylan wiped his face. ‘They’re probably rolling their eyes over the sentimentality.’
She caught his eye and the two of them smiled through tears before Dylan took Lili in his arms.
36
Thursday morning arrived too quickly. It was less than one week away till Christmas Day. She’d be leaving the busyness of the Strip for hectic festive preparations. Yesterday they’d gone to the Grand Canal Shoppes at a hotel called the Venetian, having overheard a couple at the table next to them, at breakfast, rave about the canal down the middle of it. Shoppers could take gondola rides, which Lili and Dylan did, sailing past restaurants and luxury shops. Late afternoon they’d gone to the burlesque show called Naughty Santa. With its skimpy outfits, tinsel boas, sexy music and topless dancers, and Santa, in very tight trousers, Dylan had pretended to cover his eyes, widening his fingers just enough to get a good view and looking at Lili through it.
They’d laughed. A lot.
Being with him was effortless.
So why hadn’t she been able to open up about her feelings for him? Since the visit to the Grand Canyon, it was as if the pure blue sky, strewn with sunbeams, had penetrated her skin and infused her with a joie de vivre. But what if he said no and the world became a darker place again?
Lili looked firmly at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.
Then so be it. You’ll find the light once more. You know that now.
They’d be leaving for the airport mid-morning. When they entered the food hall, both went for waffles. Lili offered to get them whilst he fetched two coffees. She’d sent photos of their food all week to Meg, having failed to spot celebrities, and found a biker bar on the Strip with a Harley Davidson parked outside, and an amazing neon-yellow sports bike that looked like a Transformer. Tommo loved the snaps and replied to Lili’s message with wow face emojis.
But she wouldn’t be sending Meg a photo of Dylan’s waffles today. Lili carried their plates over to the table where he was waiting. She put down hers first and then, stomach in knots, placed his plate in front of him.
Dylan rubbed his hands and picked up his cutlery, shadows under his eyes not so dark as a few days ago, his hair shiny and tidier. ‘So ready for this,’ he said and looked down. His eyebrows knotted together as he glanced at Lili’s plate. ‘Is mine a special order?’
His stack of waffles was covered in cream, and bright red hearts of coulis were dotted around, along with cranberries. Whereas Lili’s coulis was in a puddle on the side, next to a mini jug of cream and slapdash pile of berries.
Lili clenched her hands under the table. ‘I asked the server to do that. Because, well, I like you, Dylan. A lot. I’ve known for a while but didn’t feel I could cope with anything… deeper than that one-off night at the pub. Not after losing Em. But that’s changed.’ Awkwardly, she took a sip of coffee.
He studied the plate once more, then lifted his head.
‘God, Dylan, put me out of my misery, say something!’
‘I’ve got nothing to say.’
The knots in her stomach tightened and insecurities filled his silence. In her black one-piece she hadn’t been half as glamorous as the other women at the pool, in their eye-catching metallic bikinis, as if Dylan?—
He shot her one of his disarming smiles. ‘Actions speak louder than words.’ He swapped their plates over and turned the hearts to face Lili. ‘I feel the same. Have done since we first met.’
The sun in Lili began to shine even more brightly.
‘Not just about liking you, but also about getting close to someone again,’ he continued. ‘When we first met, my emotions were still so focused on the loss of Harry. But it’s become harder and harder not to see you and me, us together, as a chance for happiness that I’d be a fool to let go of. Vegas proves that getting that lucky break often involves taking a gamble.’ He leant forwards, took her hand and kissed her palm, his lips remaining there as he gazed into her face.
