Page 58 of Resist Me Not
He slips under the covers and reaches toward me to pull me back into bed too. With how we spoon, my right arm wrapsaround his waist, and he is holding it to his stomach, gently fingering my ring. Perhaps its compass rose design led me to him, because everything about this feels like fate.
There is one thing I have yet to ask him. “With me is not the only time you have had such panic attacks, is it?”
“No. I used to get them more when I was younger. My claustrophobia can trigger them.”
“Yet you still let me blindfold you.”
He glances back at me. “I trusted you. And it was nice. I never felt panicked while my eyes were covered because I knew you had me.”
“I still have you. Do you still trust me?”
I appreciate that Walker answers honestly too. “I don’t know, but even if this means I really am crazy, I want to.” He looks forward again and snuggles into my hold. “When I’m with you, you’re too difficult to resist.”
“Do you want to resist me, Walker?”
“I don’t think I can.”
It isn’t quite an answer, but it is enough that he wants to trust me and let me stay.
We fall asleep like that and don’t wake again until morning.
Chapter sixteen
WALKER
The first time Detective Clancy contacts me again, I miss the call and only notice when I see his voicemail.
“Did you know this is not the first time Mr. Fisher has been a person of interest after someone went missing, Doctor Hammond? I think it would be best if we had another conversation. And I think deep down you do too.”
Fuck that.
Andfuckhim!
The successive times he contacts me afterward, I miss those calls on purpose and only listen to the messages to make sure he doesn’t know anything important enough to force me to go see him. He can’t force me, and I don’t have to answer his calls ifhe doesn’t have any evidence, no probable cause, no nothing. He just has a hunch he won’t let go, and he isn’t stopping, so he’s trying to goad me into messing up and giving something away to corroborate his guess.
His guess, which is 100% correct that Trey had something to do with Curtis’s disappearance.
If I am really not going to turn Trey in, I need Detective Clancy to stop. I keep telling myself he’ll grow tired eventually without progress, but he keeps calling. He needs tostop—or Trey will make sure he is the next person who disappears.
I can’t let that happen. If I can stop Trey from harming another innocent person, it feels somehow less wrong to keep his secret, to let him keep doing what he does, and to keep being with him and letting him take care of me. It’s all awful and selfish, I know, but if eleven out of twelve doctors agree, there has to be something to vigilante justice.
Right?
Nothing about how things are progressing is making me feel better. Well, Trey sticking around while he finishes writing his current article is nice. He doesn’t have to immediately head out again for his next assignment. But since he’s staying with me, when he goes out, I’m always second-guessing what he’s doing, even though he promised me he won’t go after anyone in this city anymore, at least not for a long while, because it would be too dangerous too close together—unless he has to, of course.
Unless he has to.
Having a live-in boyfriend to offer massages with happy endings when studying has me tied up in knots is nice, but the time for studying is almost done, and the real tests and real fellowship is about to begin. I’m still eager for that, still so excited, because it’s the work I’ve been planning to devote myself to for so long. It’s some good I can put back into the world.
So, given my free days are limited, I leave Trey in my apartment to his writing and planning of wherever his next assignment will take him, and head to the hospital to visit Noah—with Zappy in tow.
I’d gotten a few messages from Doctor Aldrin finally, just the occasional update on Noah’s progress, upcoming tests and options for the family. I actually start to get a call from her just as I’m stepping up to the hospital doors. I don’t answer since I’ll be able to talk to her in person in a few minutes. Noah had another set of tests scheduled for this morning. I didn’t think they’d be done yet, but maybe they finished early.
I actually have an extra plushie for Noah. I found this smiling rainbow on a cloud with the sun behind it like it’s wearing the sun as a hat, and my gay little heart couldn’t resist. Plus, I figure I owe the kid to make up for being absent and taking so long to return Zappy.
My phone buzzes again as I’m going up the elevator, and I’m worried it might be Detective Clancy, but it’s Doctor Aldrin again. The elevator doors open and a sinking feeling settles into my gut as I step out—and see her at the desk on this floor where she is calling me from. The elevator lets off fairly close to Noah’s room, and I can see his parents holding Emma just outside the door, holding each other and crying.
Doctor Aldrin’s eyes meet mine as I near her, and she hangs up the phone to meet me.
