Page 98 of Repentance and Absolution
“I don’t rightly remember. I think— I’m fairly sure t’was in August.”
I stared at him, wondering at parents not making a fuss about their child’s birthday. It seemed so strange that he wouldn’t know the day, but perhaps I was being simple. Maybe birthdays weren’t as important for some folks as they were to others.
I knew when my birthday was because my mama would always make something special for me on that day. But that didn’t mean everyone was so lucky. And I’d goddamned near almost forgot it, since you can bet the gang didn’t care one whit about them things.
“Well, how do you know… How do you know your age, then?”
Oscar looked scared now, as if I’d caught him out about something, and an icy shard of dread sliced through me.
“Oscar. You’re twenty-one. You told me you were twenty-one, and I believed you.”
“Iamtwenty-one,” Oscar stated, licking his lips and nodding as if reassuring himself. “Or thereabouts,” he added in the softest of voices, glancing at me from under his lashes, like a frightened child.
All of a sudden, I knew in my heart that Oscar was likelynottwenty-one, and could have been as young as eighteen, but hopefully—hopefully—was atleasttwenty. Then, gazing into his eyes and seeing the fear there, I decided it didn’t matter.
He was my sweetheart and my home, and I didn’t care about the numbers. There was no question he was a grown man—his deep voice and the hair on his face and his parts made that obvious. Even though t’was on the sparser side, t’was there. His skin, though t’was softer and firmer than mine, was thick and rough enough to be a man’s.
We’d keep on going with the age he hoped he was, and he’d turn twenty-two in August. Irene would bake him a chocolate cake, we’d sing him the birthday song and I’d take him to bed with all the gentleness and strictness that he wanted.
“All right,” I said, sliding my hand up behind his head and bringing his mouth to mine.
He put his arms around me and held me tight, as if he was worried I was gonna blow away in the wind and leave him all alone to make his way. And I would never, ever do that.
* * * *
If we had to go to this spring social, we needed some new clothes. We’d made do with what we had, mostly, except for the union suits and some warmer things we’d purchased for the winter.
“Do we really want to spend money on fancy clothes, Jimmy? We’re startin’ to run out of cash, ain’t we?” Oscar said, after we’d rode into town and stabled the horses at Jensen’s.
“Not quite yet. But we’re gettin’ low enough that we have to be mindful.”
“Well, then, why’re we gonna go and buy these fancy outfits? Just for one party that we don’t even wanna go to?”
I sighed and nodded.
“I know, but I’ve thought about it, and I think ’tis wise to go and to make a good impression. The easiest way to do that is to look the part of respectable gentlemen. And, you know, if we’re livin’ here, there’s a chance we’re gonna be invited to other things. Maybe we should put in an appearance at church now and then.”
Oscar looked like he’d eaten something sour. “Aw, Jimmy. Don’t say that…”
I laughed and shook my head. “My goodness, you sound like a child.”
He side-eyed me. “I hate goin’ to church. Why do I wanna listen to a bunch of men what think they know how to speak for God when I can talk to God all by myself from wherever I am and get a more honest answer?”
“I know, I know. I didn’t say you had to believe what they were sayin’. But maybe we oughta go on occasion.”
Oscar gave me a look. “You make me go to church, Jimmy, and I’m gonna make you pay.”
“Oh, really?”
“Oh, yes, really.”
I laughed. “How are you gonna make me pay for takin’ you to church?”
He seemed to think about it for a moment. We were walking by the river now, with nobody else anywhere near us. The pungent scent of salmon and fish guts floated on top of the salty, ocean smell.
Oscar spoke in a stage whisper, his gaze furtive.
“Well, maybe I’ll suddenly develop a modest streak, and I won’t want to tumble very often. Hmm? You never know, Jimmy, surrounded by all that ‘purity’, maybe some’ll rub off on me.”
