Page 19 of Little Wing
Once I stepped inside and locked my door, I found myself touching my face again. I could still taste him on my tongue. I could recall the smell of his cologne and the way his facial hair tickled my skin.
After seeing him almost every day for the past few weeks at the bookstore and at the bar, it was difficult not to acknowledge how good looking he was. I wasn’t blind, just… cautious. But that didn’t stop me from thinking about what it would feel like to touch him. The fantasies that invaded my mind while I lay in bed couldn’t compare to the real thing. The sound of his groans against my lips as his evident arousal pressed against my lower belly would certainly replay in my head.
Although the way he touched me had me almost considering inviting him upstairs, I knew I had to distance myself. Though his touch felt amazing, I had to realize who—what—he was. I could alwaysreveal myself to him, but what would he do with that knowledge? Would he turn me in? Or would he take the punishment into his own hands? But even if we didn’t sleep together, I felt proud that I stood up for myself. I wasn’t going to let him push some narrative about me pretending to be human when that wasn’t even close to the true reason behind my appearance. I had to admit I enjoyed his expression. It was difficult not to smirk at the memory of him standing before me looking like a scolded child when I stood my ground. I wondered if he expected that from me.
I chuckled quietly to myself and dragged my feet to my bedroom. I was already exhausted from the evening’s events that I considered sleeping in my makeup. It was only when I caught sight of my smeared face in my vanity mirror that I stopped to gaze at the evidence of Silas’s touch. My lipstick was smeared across my mouth along with a portion of my foundation that revealed a patch of freckles. After taking a mental snapshot, I cleaned off my face and changed into a short blue nightgown.
I took one last look at my reflection before heading to bed. It was strange remembering that at one time I truly enjoyed this makeup. It wasn’t because of how it made me look, but because it was my ticket out of the barn where Luca and I stayed. Without the makeup, I was trapped. It was only by wearing the camouflage demanded by my brother that I was allowed to leave for a short period of time.
Even after proving myself to be smart and responsible, Luca believed that I wasn’t careful enough and that my mere existence would result in us being hunted. My brother wasn’t well, even back then it was apparent. But he was all that I had after waking into this new life, and he certainly made it clear that it would always remain that way.
Maybe that was why after all this time away from him, I still felt like a feral cat. The treaty worked for so many vampires, but for meit felt like a temporary kindness, and it wouldn’t be long before I would be forced out again. After years of being on my own, I expected nothing more than what I could provide myself. A safe home, a steady supply of blood that kept bloodlust at bay, and a few friends who dulled the ache of loneliness. It all felt like a pit that I couldn’t quite fill, not since the last time I allowed myself the pleasure of lowering my guard and opening my heart.
I could never forget everything that happened. No matter the world we lived in, the mistakes I made followed me. At least that was what the voice in my head echoed and repeated for years any time I felt a fragment of hope creep in.
Your fault, your fault, your fault…
Whatever happened tonight, I knew I would treasure it, if only as a memory to keep me company in the early hours of the day.
After the kiss, Silas continued to show up at the bookstore and the bar. It wasn’t an everyday occurrence anymore, which left me catching myself looking for him. I admit his presence wasn’t quite looming as it was before, but it was felt. He still watched me like I was a puzzle he was trying to crack, but he didn’t try to corner me again. The vivid memory of that night had me working overtime to stop my mind from wandering to the desires that had me squeezing my thighs at work.
I wondered if he thought of that night as often as I did. Did he have to reach between his legs to settle the ache that lived in our memory? Maybe he regretted it. Maybe the drinks he continued to order for me at The Royal Nomad were to acknowledge what an ass he had been, and not to fuel the fire of longing that only intensified in me.
When he did choose to approach me, he stopped for small talk, mentioning how he was working on prepping the grand opening of a business he was developing with his brother. He said it was called Little Wing—though he ended up having to leave before I could ask about it further.
As Silas’s occasional visits continued, so did my regular routine. I’d go to work, sometimes the bar, and then back home—feelingcompletely content that nothing catastrophic had shifted. Silas still showed no signs of knowing who I was. As relieved as it made me, it didn’t stop thoughts of him from occupying my mind.
I felt like my decisions teetered between wanting to seek him out or hiding away.
It was something that my best friends were not blind to. They could see how distracted I became. Kait gave me knowing smiles when she would serve me drinks ordered by Silas, especially when I wouldn’t refuse them. And Reina? She was like a bloodhound for calling out even the slightest shifts in behavior between people. That’s how, in the past, she knew Kait had finally gone out on a date—the last time she did.
“Got any plans for tonight, Lo?” Reina asked, pulling her hair up. “Any hot dates?”
I was coming up to the end of my shift, so Reina’s questions were standard, yet I could hear the not-so-subtle way her words were spoken. Some words holding more weight than others.
“Nope,” I smiled, taking off my name tag before returning it to the basket behind the checkout counter. “What about you?”
She eyed me suspiciously but responded. “I think I may connect with someone tonight on that app I was telling you about. Unless you wanted to do something?”
I checked the time on my phone and shrugged. “I was just planning on heading home.”
“No bar?”
I shook my head. “Not tonight.”
“No Silas?”
I paused and pressed my lips tightly. “Anything particular about him?”
Reina looked as if she was going to malfunction, which from the outside looked quite adorable. It wasn’t often that I could frustrate my friends like this. It made me feel… normal. Like this was just a regular discussion—because it really was!
Reina stopped fidgeting with the books on the display closest to us and put her hand on her hip. “You’re seriously telling me there’s nothing going on?”
A ghost of a smirk settled on me and it wasn’t missed by my best friend.
“Oh my gods!” Reina squeaked, nearly knocking over the entire display as she jumped up. “What happened?!”
“Reina!” I fanned my hands, urging her to settle, especially as a few customers turned their heads to us. “Look, we talked, and I confronted him about his weird stalker-y behavior.”
