Page 53 of Little Wing
I said my thanks again and walked out of Kait’s home, so that I could face my next challenge of coming face-to-face with the man who never stopped reaching out. My skin buzzed with the missing of him.The phantom caresses that I longed for so badly—would I ever feel them again?
As I walked to Silas’s house, I muttered under my breath, practicing what I wanted to say to him. How would I even start this off? What if he’ll be unhappy to see me? I practiced that conversation too. I wanted to rehearse every possible scenario, but I knew that I’d never truly know what it would be like until I would stand at his door and ring the bell.
Whatever would happen, I had to be prepared to handle it in whatever way necessary. Even if it meant walking away from him.
Before long, I was standing on his driveway, staring at the car parked there. He was home. Suddenly, the steady breaths that carried me the entire way to his neighborhood became short and labored.
If he did not want to hear me out, would he turn me in? Would I beg him to hear me out? Would he hurt me? No… No… it’ll be okay. Silas will hear me out. If he wanted to hurt me, he wouldn’t keep checking in on me. Right… he will want to listen. Right?
My thoughts galloped like a wild horse in my brain as I stood on his welcome mat that had a large black bat on it. I recalled the memories I cherished of my time spent with Silas and his family. Mateo and Quinn included me and made me feel like I was part of a community. For once in my existence, I felt like I had comfort in my own people. But now that I was standing at his door, my limbs were frozen.
I just had to knock. Just one knock.
I didn’t even have a chance to ring the doorbell before the door swung open. Silas stood on the other side with his jacket under his arm. He looked disheveled, sullen, and just plain tired.
“Silas,” I began.
“Lotus,” he said my name softly. He opened the door a little wider to lean against the door frame. “I was just about to go to your apartment.”
I nodded. “I figured, so I left earlier to come here.”
He was looking down now, his eyes staring at my arms that I folded over my chest in a self-soothing embrace. It was all I could do to keep from flinging my arms around him. I didn’t know if I had the right to do that anymore. Especially as he chewed on his bottom lip and tipped his chin at me.
“Your brother paid me a visit at Little Wing.”
“Did he?” I said flatly. The weight on my heart was almost too much to bear, but I didn’t want him to know just how shaken I felt. Not at my brother being around, but at what he might have revealed to Silas.
“He shared some things about you.”
“Did he?” I said again.
Silas nodded and opened the door further, creating enough space for me to walk past the threshold. “I’d much rather hear them from you.”
Inside there wasn’t much noise besides the soft voices coming from the television. Silas was home alone. I watched him walk to the couch in the living room just beyond the foyer after closing the door behind me. Once he noticed that I wasn’t right behind him and still standing near the door, he looked over his shoulder and motioned with his hand for me to join him.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. All the confident scenarios I practiced at Kait’s were erased from my memory. Itwas different now that I knew Luca talked to him. And all I could think about now was what lies my brother fed Silas. What slander did he use to poison the mind of the man who gifted me his kindness?
I couldn’t move, fearing that the beautiful story Silas and I could’ve cherished was one sentence away from concluding. I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t want to let go.
Silas’s brows furrowed as he frowned and pointed the remote at the TV to turn it off. He cautiously walked back to me, like he was trying not to scare me away. When I didn’t flinch, he exhaled quietly and cupped my face in his hands. Slowly, he guided my eyes back up to his.
I couldn’t help it. Tears welled in my eyes as his thumbs stroked my cheeks. His tenderness embraced me, softened my stiff limbs and allowed me to melt into his touch. Maybe we still had a chance if he was touching me this way? Or was this perhaps his way of manipulating me into being captured and turned in?
I reached up to put my hands over his, making the difficult decision to lower his hands from my face.
“Please,” I whispered even as his frown returned. “I would like to sit down now. I need to talk to you.”
When we were finally seated, I chose to sit on the couch adjacent to him. Though my body ached for his comfort, I had to keep my distance so I could force myself to let the words spill.
“Where do I begin?” I uttered, mostly to myself. I smoothed the fabric of my dress over my lap and looked over at him.
“The beginning,” Silas stated. “Why did you lie?”
The words stung, but I remembered one of our first conversations when he questioned me about pretending to be a human. “I never lied. I just did not share the darkness that surrounded myname.”
Part of me believed Silas would have a more expressive reaction, but he just leaned back against the couch and crossed his leg over his knee. “Is your name really Lotus?”
“Yes.”
