Page 54 of Little Wing
“Why Evans?” he asked. “Not much of a change from Everett.”
I nodded. “I had to come up with that on the spot. Once one person used it, I had to keep it up if I intended on staying in Fairhaven. I never wanted to hide.” I frowned and wrapped my arms around myself. “I just wanted to be free.”
“Did you know he was going to hurt those women?”
“No!” I yelped, sinking deeper into myself. I shook my head over and over, feeling strands of my hair coming loose from my bun. I’d never waste a second in denying my involvement with the women my brother hurt. I only knew what was written about them, and even then, it was very little. Luca kept his life private, so while he tormented me for loving a human man, he got himself tangled with humans himself. Whether he sincerely loved them was still a mystery to me.
As I continued to answer my beloved’s questions, the energy in the room shifted. I felt he approved of my answers. But when he leaned forward and pressed his elbow to his knee, I felt like I was then put under a magnifying glass.
“Who was Wesley?” he asked.
Hearing that name come out of Silas’s mouth brought on a feeling I couldn’t quite place. While it wasn’t pain or sadness, it certainly was some type of ache that left me with a tightness in my chest. There was a sting at the inquiry that had me wondering how I would go about telling him everything when I hadn’t even shared all those intimate details with my friends. Not even Luca.
“Lotus?” Silas whispered.
I brushed the loose strands of my hair out of my face and looked Silas directly in his eyes before offering a gentle smile.
“Wesley was my first love.”
When Lotus showed up at my doorstep, I fought against the urge to drop my coat and pull her into my arms. I was worried about her since the moment I saw her run out of Little Wing, but seeing her keeping distance from me made the ache of missing her much greater.
There was relief in seeing her unharmed and I admit I respected her decision to show up at my home. I was already on my way out to possibly meet her at the apartment when I opened the door to find her waiting. That time I was glad to have been running a bit behind.
We sat in the living room on separate couches and talked. Frankly, it felt more like an interrogation, which I fucking hated. I listened to her answer question after question when all I wanted was to get my ass off the couch to sit beside her. More than once I caught myself gripping the edge of the couch to keep myself from moving to her. This conversation felt fragile, and I knew sitting beside her would leave the space between us too charged. I sat as calm and collected as I could, because she was there. Lotus was sitting on my couch with her heart out in the open.
As I listened, I looked her over. Though whatever bruises she might have had from the incident at Little Wing were likely gone, I couldn’tstop picturing her horrified expression when I failed to protect her. I hated it. I hated the memory that replayed over and over in my head. Now, I knew I'd kill anyone to lay a hand on her next time. I’d be ready to burn it all down for her, just to make sure I’d never see her look so damn scared and broken again.
To push the thought away, I finally asked her about the man her brother brought up. Wesley. Whoever he was caused Lotus’s eyes to water even as she smiled at me.
“When we lived out East, Luca and I moved around often to maintain our anonymity. Rural areas suited us best at that time. We occupied a barn that reminded us of the one our family had.” She paused and rubbed her scarred wrist, a memento given to her by her brother. “Luca would go out for days at a time, whether it was to hunt or scavenge for things that could keep us hidden longer. It meant I was frequently left alone. As you can imagine, I got stir crazy. Why should Luca be the only one to go out? I was smart, I could be careful, even if he didn’t trust me to be.” Lotus gripped the hem of her dress and allowed her gaze to settle on a glass of crimson I had left out on the coffee table before she arrived.
“While Luca was away, I used that time to venture into town.”
The way her ruby eyes glossed over, I imagined those memories were painted in her mind clearly. The sensation of memory was often a double-edged sword, especially if reminiscence brought a pain that never really went away. I saw it in the way her posture shifted.
“I met Wesley late one night while we were both taking our horses for a ride. He was unbothered by my appearance, my odd availability, and my strange lodging.” She pressed her lips into a thin line. “Our friendship quickly blossomed into something warmer and more romantic. He was my first for many things.”
“Did he know?” I asked quietly.
She shook her head slowly. “I never told him, never saw the need. Each night that we spent together, I thought it would be our last. I felt robbed of so much of my life that I wanted to cherish what moments I was allowed…” Lotus bit down on her lip and looked at me. “I suppose I have made that mistake for as long as I can remember. Lying by simply not declaring what I was. I was just so lonely.”
Lotus continued speaking, painting the picture of what her life was like before Fairhaven. What it was like with Wesley by her side in the middle of the night. There was a glimmer of hope and love that was unmistakable just as the crushing weight of loss that shrouded her when she described the night Luca found her with Wesley. How was it fair for that fucker to go out for days at a time while Lotus stayed back? How was she expected to just stay and wait?
Her voice broke as she recalled Luca locking her in the barn and leaving her.
I couldn’t fucking take listening to that. I couldn’t bear watching her shake, not without moving from where I was seated to the loveseat she was clinging to. I did so in two quick strides and sat down close enough to feel the hum of her distress vibrating off her body, yet still far enough to not smother her.
“I… I was there for so long, Silas,” Lotus sniffled. “And then he… he—”
My nails dug into my palms as I held back the urge to sniff out the scent that matched hers. I continued to listen, letting my arm press gently against her side to let her know she wasn’t alone. What she faced was terrible and to still feel so haunted by those events… I didn’t blame her. Who could?
Lotus turned and looked at me, searching my eyes before she gently traced the scar on her wrist with her trembling fingers. “Iloved Wesley completely and he loved me.” She paused. “And it was his love for me that ultimately sealed his fate.”
“What happened?” I immediately winced, hoping my question wouldn’t close the channel of her memory.
“I lost count after two weeks and three days of being locked away in the barn with nothing to quench my thirst.” She brought her hands to her throat and swallowed. “And after what might have been a month of being away from Wesley, he eventually came looking for me when he did not see me come by his home a few days in a row. We had a routine, Wesley and I.”
Holy fuck… he starved her.
