Page 60 of Little Wing
“If that is what you are curious about, then I will not deny you,” I managed to say while fighting back the tears that threatened to stream down my cheek. I invited anyone who wanted to join me into the meeting room reserved for larger counseling sessions. The atmosphere of Little Wing no longer felt heavy with anxiety and fear, but a different flavor of pain. It wasn’t a pain that made me want to leave, but one that made me glad I decided to come back. The struggles that I faced were not exclusive to my experience. So many young vampires around me stood in my shoes at one point or another, and I wanted to remind them that they were never alone. That what they experienced was terrible, but they survived. Their pain was not in vain.
Once everyone found a seat, I found my own before taking a moment to look around. Some of them looked right at me while others chose to keep their heads down. I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly before resting my hands on my lap.
“My name is Lotus Everett, and I survived.”
We spent the next hour talking about what I did when I first left Luca and then the conversation transitioned into more of a group session. Everyone had an opportunity to touch upon their experience and share in the comfort of others who understood what it was like to feel so alone. To feel like there was nothing worth carrying on for. Tears were shed among them and words of gratitude were gifted to me once our time was up.
The weight of their stories rested heavily in the air of the meeting room, but in sharing their experiences their postures appeared lighter, happier, and more hopeful. They were real and they all survived to tell their stories when they could have easily made the choice to remove themselves from life’s equation.
This was a reward for me in enduring Luca’s torment. By doing so, I was allowed the opportunity to listen to the stories of so many other brave vampires. Though I still struggled, there was a glimmer of pride to be a part of a people who exemplified resilience.
Survivors.
Once the session was finished, I walked the group out of the room only to find Quinn standing just outside the door, smiling at them as they walked out.
“Hey, Lo,” she said softly. Quinn always held a firm front no matter who she was speaking to, but in that smile, there was an undeniable tenderness. “How are you doing?”
I brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear and exhaled slowly. “I feel good.” And I wasn’t lying. The loneliness that I felt for much of my existence didn’t have to continue, not when I could share my story with others who related to it. An experience I would never wish upon anyone, but there was healing in the knowledge that what we had endured was not what would break us.
Quinn nodded and reached out to lightly brush my wrist with her hand. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before looking back at me. Just as she did when she first heard what had happened to me. Quinn was always strong and exuded an energy that just made her seem like she wouldn’t let anything get to her. Though after telling her and Mateo everything that I revealed to Silas, her eyes seemed softer. As if recalling my experience touched her too.
“Quinn, are you okay?”
“I’m glad you’re here, Lo.” She smiled and looked over her shoulder at the group of young vampires who just an hour ago seemed like completely different people. “Getting away from that couldn’t have been easy, but we get to show them that it’s possible to heal from it. Slowly, but surely… we can heal.”
My lips parted at thewe, but I did not pry any further. Only nodded in agreement and reached to squeeze her hand in mine.
“Silas is going to be finishing up soon. He said you two are heading to your apartment after this?” she said, steering the conversation out of the darkness that had filled the room we occupied.
“Yes. I figured it’s time I check on everything, and there is the fact that I’m out of clean clothes.”
She tipped her chin at me and smirked. “Surprised he let you out of his room.”
“Quinn!”
“What? I’m just saying I’ve never seen him like this, and I’ve known him a long time.”
Hearing her say that no doubt caused the flutter in my chest that I continued to feel anytime I was around Silas, or even when someone talked about him. A feeling I had long swept aside emerged unexpectedly for a man who saw me, and I could not hold back the joy it brought me. A joy I never thought I would be allowed to feel again. Ajoy I feared would be taken away from me just as soon as I embraced it.
Sensing my growing unease, Quinn nudged me and motioned for me to follow her out of the meeting space. “Come on,” Quinn smirked, “I’ll have you help me with some pamphlets while Silas finishes up.”
“Oh Silas—you should have seen it. It was so natural just speaking to them and seeing their faces light up when they realized they truly weren’t alone!” Lotus drew in a breath before speeding up ahead of me. Her joy impossible to ignore. “They were so amazing!” she giggled. “Absolutely amazing!”
A chuckle vibrated at the base of my throat as I listened and studied her. I didn’t know how she did it. How did she manage to still have so much light to share after others tried to put it out for centuries? Besides what she went through on her own, it was hard to forget the events of the last few weeks. Truly an absolute shitshow. But when Lotus was on the verge of skipping down the sidewalk, I tried to focus on the light in front of me, on the woman who refused to be seen as broken.
“Seems Little Wing suits you—you sure I can’t poach you from the bookstore?” I smirked, reaching to pull her back to my side.
“You’d have to go through Reina on that one, and I know she won’t let me go.” When I leaned over to kiss her cheek, she pursed her lips and hummed, contemplating. “But I won’t say no to volunteering.”
“You guys still planning on opening up your own bookstore?”
“And café,” she quickly added as she confirmed. “Yes, and yes. I think after everything, it’s time we move forward and focus on trying to make this happen.”
She had a point, and it reminded me so much of myself and Mateo when we made the decision to make Little Wing happen. It was a chance that we were willing to take, and we were thankful it paid off. As much as I wanted Lotus to pursue her passions with her friends, I couldn’t deny how much I loved seeing her around Little Wing. Aside from the obvious bonus of her actual proximity to me, I loved seeing her light up the room when she made someone feel less alone.
When we finally made it to her apartment building, she took me by the hand and led me up the few flights of stairs to her unit. I watched as she pulled her keys out of her purse and twirled them around before stopping abruptly. She stared at the door for a few seconds longer than made me comfortable. But before I could ask if anything was wrong, she went to turn the key to unlock her door and froze. Though she tried to conceal her distress, I knew better than to stay back and moved in front of her.
“It’s… unlocked,” Lotus uttered.
