Page 15 of Something Stronger
“They low-balled me,” he growled as he looked around, I’m guessing for the bottle that I already put away.
“So, you turned them down.” I shook my head and started to walk away.
“What? You want me to work somewhere that doesn’t appreciate me? Somewhere where my boss thinks nothing of me?” His voice echoed through the room.
“I just want you to work,” I murmured.
“I’ll find something good. I’m not giving up.” He flopped back on the couch.
“Sure.” I turned, defeated, and walked away. I wasn’t sure what to do at this point. Charlie and I have had our problems for some time, but I’ve never asked myself why I’m still here, and now I’m starting to do just that. Why was I here? I loved him, sure, but was love enough? Could love help me look past what was going on? Could I love him enough to pull him out of whatever was holding him down? Did I even have the strength for that?
“Mama?” Amy’s head poked out of her room, her wet hair a tangled mess. “Can you help?” She held out a brush. Her eyes looked sad, almost like she’d been crying.
“Of course.” I changed directions and stepped into her room. She was wearing her favorite pink nightgown and holdingher teddy bear to her chest. “Sit.” I patted the bed beside where I was sitting.
Amy sat down and folded her legs underneath her. “Is Daddy mad?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
“I think Daddy’s just tired. Once he finds somewhere to work that he likes, things will get back to normal. He’s not mad at you, I promise. He loves you more than anything in the world.”
“Can you tell him I love him too?” She turned slightly and the look on her face just about broke me. What was I doing here?
“I will, but he knows.” I kissed the top of her head as I worked the last tangle out. “Let’s get you into bed. I know you’ve got a long day tomorrow to get ready for the weekend.”
I pulled back the covers and she slipped underneath. After one last hug and kiss, I turned out the light and pulled the door closed. I made my way into my room and began getting ready for bed. Charlie was still in the living room. There was a time when I never went to bed without him. We’d told each other that we’d never go to bed angry or alone when we first got married. Now, I don’t even know if he cares anymore. I can’t remember the last time we went to bed together, or didn’t have some type of argument, and again, I wonder— why am I here?
Chapter 10
2 years ago
Louisiana
My sister moved back home after being away for thirteen years. Her husband passed away, and she’d promised him she’d raise their son on the farm. We’ve talked a few times, but we met up last week at the diner, and she invited Charlie, Amy, and me to come out for a cookout. I knew Charlie wouldn’t want to. He never wanted to do anything with my family lately. He spent his days at the local bar chatting with whomever would talk to him about the injustices that he suffered from when it came to a job. Most days he staggers into the house in the evening, reeking of booze. I’d tried my damndest to shelter Amy from it, but she’s old enough now that I’m afraid she knew what was going on.
“Can I help?” Amy peered into the kitchen. I was putting the finishing touches on a cake I’d made to take to Codie’s.
“Sure. You can peel those eggs over there and once I cut them, you can dump the middles out.” I smiled as I pointed to the colander of boiled eggs. Codie hadn’t asked that I bring anything, but us Westbrook girls knew you didn’t show up to someone’s house without food when you were invited over, even if they were family.
“Lou!” Charlie barked from his recliner. “When are we supposed to be over there?”
“I told you yesterday we needed to leave here by five,” I called back. I knew he was sitting there watching something on TV while he sipped away on his glass of whiskey.
“I don’t know why this has to be a family thing,” he grumbled. I chose not to answer. I honestly didn’t care if he came or not. I was excited my sister was back, and I wanted to get to know my nephew better. Plus, she shared with me thatshe was rekindling things with Hank. Part of me wondered if I should move back home and hook up with one of the farmhands. Every time I’d get up the nerve to walk away, Charlie would do something sweet and suck me back in though, and the few times I confided in my mom, she’d talk me off the ledge and make me try harder. I didn’t know how much harder I could try at this point though. I’d been trying for years now, and things just seemed to be getting worse.
I can’t tell you the last time Charlie went on a job interview. I was working full-time and putting in extra hours by picking up some clients on the side. Amy was dancing every night of the week and we traveled on weekends. I’d been living the life of a single mom for the last year, and every time I tried to fix things, it only seemed to make them worse.
“Are you done yet?” I could hear his feet heavy on the floorboards as he moved toward the kitchen.
“Why don’t you go get ready?” I motioned to Amy. She scurried off toward her room as Charlie rounded the corner.
“How much stuff are you taking?” He motioned with his arms as he looked around the kitchen. I probably did make too much, but it was my sister.
“I haven’t gotten to visit with her in years and I wanted to do something nice.” I brushed my hands down my apron. “This is everything. Can you help me load it in the car?”
“I’ve got my own stuff to do,” he grumbled as he turned and disappeared.
“Of course you do,” I muttered under my breath. I grabbed a picnic basket, and my cake cover and began packing everything so I could load it into my car. After carrying it out, I put my apron away, grabbed my purse, and announced that we needed to leave. Amy came skipping out, all smiles, and Charlie was lumbering after her.
We piled into my car and began the drive to my parents’ farm. “Can you pretend to be happy while we’re there?” I muttered as Charlie drove.
