Page 18 of Something Stronger
She lifted her eyes to meet mine and they began to fill with tears. “I don’t want to live with Daddy.” She started to cry. “I wanna stay here.”
“Why do you think you wouldn’t stay here?” I was confused. Charlie and I hadn’t had any discussions with her about anything yet. I’d tried to shield her from all of this.
“Daddy said so.” A lone tear fell and she wiped angrily at her eye.
“Honey, what are you talking about?” My heart started to race as the anger built inside me.
“Last night. After you came up here. Daddy called me. He said I needed to come stay with him. He said he’s the only one who can afford all the dance stuff, and you can’t take care of me. I think you take care of me great.” She broke down and threw her arms around me as she started sobbing.
“Oh, honey. You aren’t going anywhere.” I hugged her tightly. Codie stood and came around the table to stand on the other side of her.
“You have the best mom and she’s not going to let anything bad happen to you. Your daddy is just mad at her, so he’s not being very nice to people right now.” She rubbed Amy’s back.
“Why does he have to be so mean?” She sniffed.
“Sometimes grown-ups say things they don’t mean because they’re mad. They don’t think about the kids and how they hurt, too. Your daddy wasn’t always like this, and I think he just needs some time to accept these changes.”
Part of me was breaking apart inside, but I couldn’t let her see it. I had to be strong, and I had to make sure that my daughter knew she was loved. I knew somewhere deep insideCharlie loved her. He wanted her before she was born. I think he just didn’t know how to be a dad, and he never really tried too hard. His parents weren’t really involved when he was growing up, and you can’t learn without experience. Charlie seemed to only want to be around Amy when it was convenient. Now he wanted to be around because I didn’t want him there. I was constantly fighting a battle. One that said he was her father and deserved to be in her life, and then I’d remember that he’d developed this need to drink lately. It was always someone else’s fault, and I couldn’t subject my child to that.
“I’ll talk to Daddy. You aren’t going anywhere right now. I think we are doing just fine here. If he calls you again and upsets you, you need to bring me the phone and I’ll talk to him. Ok?” I hugged her and she nodded. “Now, let’s eat.” I smiled as Jack passed the plate of bacon.
“There’s bacon, Amy.” His eyes went wide, and we all laughed.
Ooooooooo
It was a hot day, and the idea of spending the afternoon at the creek swimming seemed like the best idea ever. Codie and I packed a picnic basket while the kids gathered the tubes and other water toys. Hank went out to mow the path down as there hadn’t been enough foot traffic to mat the grass yet. On hot days like today, the snakes and other critters were known to sunbathe. Seeing them before accidently stepping on them was a plus.
After gathering all our things, we began the ten-minute walk to the creek. The kids skipped along in front of us, and Hank, Codie, and I carried all the supplies. I pushed this morning’s conversation to the back of my mind and tried to enjoy the day.
When we reached the water, the kids and Hank rushed in, creating a cascade of water everywhere. Laughter and squeals filled the air, and it almost seemed normal. “You know it’s going to get better.” Codie nudged me in the side with her elbow as we spread out towels and sat down.
“I don’t think it could get worse. I can’t believe he said that to her,” I growled before punching the sand. I’d been telling myself that I wasn’t going to let Charlie ruin the day, but I was angry, and I needed to let it out.
“People will surprise you, especially when a child is involved. You know Mom and Dad will let you stay as long as you need to, but you can always leave Amy with me. Jack loves the company.”
“Thanks. I may have to do that when I job search. I wanna find something closer to here. I know driving to her dance class will be a haul, but I can move back this way and be closer to all of you.” I’d been thinking about it for a while. I’d even mentioned to Charlie that I wanted to move closer to the farm. His family didn’t have anything to do with us, and after his company let him go, we had no ties to Myers except dance. I’m sure I could find a dance team closer to Sunnybrook, but Amy’s been with this team since she was five. I feel bad making her give that up, too.
“You know, Carrie is looking for someone to help out with advertising at the flower shop. You should talk to her about it. You know she’d rather have family that she can count on than a stranger she knows nothing about.” Codie smiled. I hadn’t even thought about that. Carrie had mentioned at the wedding last year that she was looking for someone to take over. She’d been doing it all herself, and it was just becoming too overwhelming.
“I’ll definitely talk to her. I think Mom is planning a family dinner this weekend. Maybe I can get a few minutes to see if she still needs someone.” I smiled and I think it was the first time in the last year that I actually was seeing the positive side of things.Carrie’s flower shop was halfway between Myers and the farm. It was the perfect location for me. I could use my old connections from my freelance jobs, and still be close to home.
“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you, dare I say, happy? I’m glad something good is coming from this.” Codie leaned over and hugged me. My big sister and I had been close since we were toddlers. There were only a handful of years when I didn’t let her boss me around that we weren’t close. Now, I thought we were closer than we ever were because we’d both suffered loss. My loss wasn’t from death like hers, but it was still a loss. Between the fighting and the anger, I was grieving for what I lost with Charlie. I did love him fiercely at one time, but he changed, and so did I. Now, I just hoped I could find happiness again along with something stronger.
Chapter 12
Present Day
Louisiana
“Grandma wants to know if we’re coming to dinner tonight?” Amy leaned against the counter, watching me sketch. I started working at my sister Carrie’s flower shop, Life In Bloom, about six months ago. It’d been great working with her, and I finally felt like my life was heading in a positive direction.
“What’s today?” I tapped my chin.
“Thursday.” Amy rolled her eyes. I was always asking what day it was because we always had something going on. We were busy all the time. Between dance and single mom duties, I didn’t have time for anything else.
“No classes tonight, so yeah… we can do dinner.” I went back to sketching. Carrie had rented a wall in town. There was a brick building at the end of the street, and the side faced the road. When you drove into town, it was the first thing you saw. I suggested that she see if she could rent space on a building and put a mural on it that advertised her business. When she came in last week all smiles and slapped the paper down with the rental agreement, I was floored. I didn’t expect it to happen so fast, and now she wanted me to design and paint it.
“Mama says yes. Ok, see you then.” Amy hung up. “Grandma says don’t be late, everyone’s coming, and see you at six.” She turned and went around back. Amy was constantly wanting to come to the shop with me, and she would help organize the shipments as they came in. My sister was great with her, teaching her all about arranging and how to balance the flowers out.
