Page 8 of Something Stronger
“Ok.” Her little shoulders dropped in defeat. She was starting to notice that I was the only one there when it came to watching her dance. She’d tell Charlie about what she was learning, and he always listened, he just didn’t seem to understand how much his involvement meant to her.
As we walked out the door, I left the ticket I had purchase for him on the counter with a note saying we hoped to see him there. I carried everything out as Amy skipped ahead. She climbed in and buckled up as I tossed her bag of supplies on the seat, and off we went.
Ooooooooo
It took about forty-five minutes to get to the auditorium where the studio was holding the recital. When we pulled into the parking lot, there were people everywhere. Parents and grandparents lined up at the doors to get in, and dancers were carrying dance bags and costumes. Some girls were already dressed, some just had their hair and makeup done, and then others were like us with nothing done. Amy’s teacher had told all of us to not worry about doing anything ahead of time. She said there would be plenty of time to get the little girls ready before they needed to go on stage. Getting ready here would also lessenthe risk of tearing a hole in the tights or getting anything on the costume.
“Mama, look!” Amy pointed to all the girls going inside already in their sequins. “I wanna do that when I’m big.”
“Your teacher says you’re very talented. I bet when you’re big you will be just like them.”
“Ooh.” Her eyes grew wide when we rounded the corner and some high school girls were warming up on point shoes.
“That too.” I smiled as I reached for her hand. The dressing room we were supposed to meet in was at the end of the hall. When we stepped through the door, the room was filled with preschoolers. Amy’s class was all three- and four-year-olds. Even though Amy was four, she was a young four. Her birthday was just last month. I walked to the far side of the room where there was some space, and set our stuff down. The costumes for the ballet number were so cute. They were blue with a blue and yellow tutu. She was dancing to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, and each girl had a gold cardboard star they held on to for the dance. The tutu was removable, so the same bodice was part of the tap number. “Let’s get your tights on.” I dug through the bag, producing the tights as Amy began to undress. She sat down and lifted a foot in my direction. I bunched the tights in my hands and slowly pulled them up her legs until she could stand, and we pulled them up the rest of the way. Then, we slipped on the costume. “Now, sit here so I can do your hair.” I motioned to the chair. Amy plopped down and I worked on slicking all her hair back and fashioning a bun. “Cover your eyes.” I smiled as I showed her the hairspray. She hated this part. I sprayed and used my hand to make sure all the little pieces stayed in place before moving onto the makeup.
As young as she was, I didn’t want to cake her face up, but this was special for her. I brushed on some mascara and then applied some pink lipstick. When she smiled at me, it almostmade me tear up. She looked so grown up, and I think it was in that moment that I realized my baby wasn’t a baby anymore, she was a little girl. “What’d ya think?” I held up a mirror.
“Mama, I look beautiful.” She smiled at her reflection and then began making faces in the mirror.
“Let me talk to your teacher real quick and see what we need to do.”
“Ok.” She grinned as she began to bounce around the room. Several of the other girls were already dressed, and you could hear laughing as they gathered in small groups and began to show off things like their makeup and hair to each other.
Amy’s teacher, Miss Kirsten, was talking with several of the other moms over by the door, and giving out directions to those who seemed lost in the hallway. “Do we need to stay back here, or can she come and watch the other dancers?” I smiled. I knew this was a giant undertaking and all of the teachers seemed stressed to the max.
“Oh, we love for them to sit in the audience, especially the younger ones. It lets them see what they’re working toward if they continue to take classes. Here, take a program.” She handed me a folded paper pamphlet. “This is us.” She showed me where Twinkle, Twinkle was listed. Just be back in this room three numbers before they go on. Once you check in with a helper, you can leave Amy here and go back to watch so you don’t miss her.”
“Perfect. Thank you.” I motioned for Amy to come over to where I was standing. “Let’s go say hi to Grandma and Grandpa and grab seats. You can watch the big girls until it’s your turn.” I held my hand out for her to take.
“Yay!” She bounced on her toes, my tiny dancer. We walked hand in hand back out to where everyone was filing into the auditorium and followed the crowd inside. I spotted my parents about halfway down toward the stage, right in the middle. My father was tall, so it was pretty hard to miss him. “There’sGrandpa!” Amy pointed. She rushed ahead and I followed, weaving between parents as I went. By the time I got to the row of seats they were on, Amy was already in my dad’s lap and hugging him. “You made it!” She giggled.
“Of course we did. Where’s Charlie?” Dad looked around.
“He had a big meeting he couldn’t miss. He’s going to try and come later,” I lied. I wasn’t sure if he was coming, and I didn’t know why I was covering for him. I was always downplaying his absence to my parents. Maybe I was just hoping that things would eventually change for the better.
“Do I look pretty?” Amy batted her eyes at my parents.
“You look like an angel.” Mom smiled.
“Mama says I’m not a baby anymore.”
“Mama’s right.” My mom gave me a look like she understood what I meant when I told Amy that. When I was growing up, I’d sometimes find my mother just staring at my sisters and me. It was as if she were lost in the memories. Just then, the lights started to dim, and music played.
“It’s starting. Shh.” I motioned to Amy to be quiet. She nodded and the curtains opened, revealing a group of girls who looked to be about high school age.
Number after number came on. All different levels of dancers filled the stage. Some you could tell had been dancing since they were first out of diapers, others were beginners. Some of the best numbers were with the younger kids. They’d often look at each other as if they weren’t sure which way to go or they’d turn in opposite directions. It’s was hard not to laugh at their cuteness.
When it was Amy’s turn, I slipped out of the auditorium and led her back to the dressing room. There were several volunteers waiting with Miss Kirsten. I gave Amy a hug and wished her luck to before making my way back to my seat. As the girls took the stage, I turned on my phone’s video recorder andfilmed my baby girl’s first dance on stage. She looked flawless up there, and if I didn’t know she was four, I would have thought she’d been dancing for more than just one year. When the dance finished, the girls all took a bow before running off stage. I met Amy in the wings and gave her a giant hug. “Did you see, Mama? Did you like it?”
“I loved it. You were wonderful.” I picked her up and hugged her tight. When we got back to our seat, my mom produced a bouquet of flowers. She must have hidden them under her seat.
“Mama!” She said it in awe as she sniffed the beautiful blooms. “Look what I got.”
“They’re so pretty.” I sniffed them too.
“I’ve never gotten flowers before. Thanks, Grandma.”
“You’re welcome sweetie.” She patted Amy’s knee. At that time, we turned our attention back to the stage as more groups danced.
