Page 116 of Clear Shot
We’ve been in therapy, both for me individually and for us as a couple, and it’s been incredibly helpful. She understands mydepression a lot better and is learning what I need when it flares up. And I’m learning how to keep it at bay, or at least not to let it overwhelm me when it hits.
I managed to get back in everyone’s good graces on the team too, thanks to my wonderful wife giving me the freedom to focus on hockey. Not that I don’t pay attention to her—she’ll always be my priority but I have to earn a living and I don’t know how else I’d support us if I couldn’t play. I didn’t go to college, so this is how I prepare for our future. Hana wants to go back to school too, but we’ll see how she feels after the baby gets here.
“Hi!” Claudia and Sloane look incredibly proud of themselves and I have to admit they did a wonderful job. They rented out an event venue and everything is beautiful. The colors we chose for the baby are shades of green and purple, so that’s what they used to decorate.
“You guys are amazing!” Hana gushes, hugging them both.
The girls wander off to look at everything so I make my way to where Johan, Decker, Felix, and Jordan are standing.
“What’s going on?” I ask. “Is it time to eat?”
“Soon,” Johan says. “The caterers are finishing now.”
I look over to a buffet table where waiters are putting out steaming trays of food.
“What’s the menu?” I ask.
“Italian. You didn’t think anyone but Cicero’s would cater.”
I’d forgotten about that.
“Right.” And it smells great.
I spy the garlic knots I love so much but figure I’d better wait until I have permission.
“Everyone, please start eating!” Claudia calls out. “And thank you for coming.”
The guys and I make a beeline for the buffet table since the ladies seem to be too busy talking.
“I have to talk to you when we get a sec,” Jordan murmurs in my ear.
I turn at the seriousness in his voice.
“You okay?”
He shakes his head. “Later. And I don’t know yet.”
“What did you do?” I ask quietly. Jordan has worked hard to get where he is now, both in life and on the team. Coach warned him if he screwed up again, he’d trade him, so he’s been on the straight and narrow for two years. But something in his voice worries me.
“Later.” He emphasizes the word and then scoops a bunch of veal parmesan on his plate, moving down the line away from me.
Jesus.
I look at Felix. “You know what’s going on with Jordan?”
He shakes his head. “He is in the grumpy mood today.”
“Shit.” I’ll make time to talk to him, but not now.
This is Hana’s day and I don’t want anything to upset her.
We sit at a big table with Johan and Sloane, Decker and Eden, Anders and Claudia, and Slava and Zoe. The ladies have become close and I’m happy to see Hana with her own life and a good support system, so I don’t worry as much when I’m gone.
“Have you decided on names yet?” Anders asks us.
Hana and I glance at each other and grin.
“We’re struggling with that,” I say, leaning back in my chair. “It’ll help once we find out what it is.”
