Page 17 of Clear Shot
“Everything has changed!” she interrupts, standing up. “We’re married. On top of that, we have to put on a show every time we leave the house because I’m doing something a little shady.”
“It’s not shady!” I say, frowning “You got screwed by your job, and you’re just trying to survive. I offered to help. It’s notlike your brother held a gun to my head. Iwantedto do this for you.”
“I just feel bad,” she whispers. “Like I’m taking advantage of you and our friendship.”
“I’m a grown man. I knew what I was getting into and still did it.”
She turns to me, big blue eyes filled with worry. “I don’t want you to resent me.”
“Not going to happen.”
“Even if I say I’m not ready for us to sleep together?”
“Not even then.”
That seems to let the wind out of her sails, and I realize that’s what this sudden change of heart is about. She’s nervous about sex. Because we’ve been dancing around the chemistry between us for almost a year. Because we both want it so badly it’s sure to change everything between us when it happens.
Because it’s inevitable.
And it scares her.
The weird part of this is—it doesn’t scare me.
I just have to find a way to convince her of that.
But short-term, I’m never going to coerce a woman into sex, especially not one who’s important to me. I stopped believing in love a long time ago but if I was going to try again, it would be with someone like Hana. Or Hana, specifically.
“Hey.” I get up and move in front of her, lifting her chin with two fingers. “Look at me.”
Wary blue eyes meet mine.
“Sex is off the table unless and until we’re both ready. If it gets to a point where I can’t stand the monk life anymore, we’ll talk. I’ll never do anything to embarrass you, but I also don’t want you to feel obligated. If it happens, great. If not, we’ll figure something out. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable living with me.”
“And sleeping next to you?”
Yeah, that’s going to be a problem.
But I’ll be damned if I admit it.
“I’m a gentleman,” I say quietly. “Will I wake up with a hard-on every morning? For sure. But will I ever touch you without permission? Not a chance in hell.”
“Aiden.” Out of nowhere, she moves against my chest and rests her head there.
“Were you worried about sex, baby?”
“A little.”
“Why?”
“I already told you why—I think it will complicate things.”
“Then we’ll wait until things are less complicated.”
That probably makes no sense, but as I wrap my arms around her, I realize all I want is to make her feel better.
And do whatever is necessary to keep her from leaving.
Because now that she’s mine, I don’t know that I’m willing to let her go.
