Page 19 of Clear Shot
The conversationwith Aiden left me both relieved and unsettled, and I can’t figure out why. A therapist somewhere might suggest that there’s some stress and emotional trauma indicated with this kind of marriage of convenience, especially when I already have strong feelings for my new husband.
But I don’t know what to do about any of it.
So he made room for my clothes in the closet and gave me a couple of drawers in his dresser. Then he helped me unpack and we got ready to go to Johan and Sloane’s house. Sloane and Claudia are going out of their way to host a sweet, thoughtful celebration with a carefully curated guest list, but I’m struggling with it.
I don’t know what we’re celebrating because the marriage is a fallacy.
I understand that we have to put on a show to make sure the team thinks our marriage is legit and so the gossip mill doesn’t go crazy, but it feels dishonest.
Everything about this feels dishonest.
Well, everything except my actual feelings for Aiden.
He’s everything I thought he was—and more.
The parts of him that gave me pause in the past seem to have merged with a side I’ve never seen before, so I’m more confused than ever. He’s being so nice, and patient. Understanding. Sweet.
All the things I adore in a man. Things I assumed I’d never find.
Now I’ve not only found them, I’m married to the man who possesses them.
Except it’s not real.
I have to remind myself of that because I find myself wanting to get lost in him.
“This is beautiful,” I say when we get to Johan and Sloane’s house and I see what they’ve done.
They’ve decorated the great room with balloons and flowers. There’s even a small table set up with gifts. I can’t imagine who found the time to buy us anything—or what they would have gotten us—but I appreciate the sentiment.
“You look overwhelmed,” my brother says to me as we wait for guests to arrive.
“That’s been a theme the last few days.”
“Why? This is what you wanted, no?”
“It Is. It would just be easier…” I switch to Slovak. “It would be easier if I’d married Jordan or Felix… Someone I don’t like as much as I like Aiden.”
“Ah.” He smiles, as if that explains everything.”
“Ah?Ah what?”
He chuckles. “You’re in denial. You care about him and now you’re going to be forced to confront those feelings you’ve been trying so hard to hide. It may not be obvious to others, but I’m your brother—I know you. You’ve always had a thing for him.”
I sigh. “Yes, but he’s made it clear he wants nothing to do with love or marriage.”
“And yet, he married you without hesitation.”
“He’s doing me a favor so I can stay in the country while I look for another job. We decided we would give it a year.”
He nods. “Plenty of time.”
“For what?”
“To fall in love.”
“Stop it. That’s not what’s going to happen.”
“If you say so.” He shrugs. “I’ve always known you have feelings for him, and I saw the way he looked at you today. The gentle way he caressed your cheek before he kissed you. That’s not a guy who’s just doing his buddy’s sister a favor.”
